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i forgot to take a pic today but i finished bringing composted soil to the whole front of this bed,  dug it in with the trowel,  not deep,  just a little.  Mixed it with my hands.  Many things have been planted and grown in the small bed.  Nothing to show for it except from last year,  the flax, garlic, chocolate flower and parsley.  One year there was a ton of Calendula.  Another time some Woad.   Different things.  It's in full sun and by full sun i mean FULL SUN….direct, unrelenting SUN.  Water in the morning and a couple hours later in say, July,  it's dry.  So the need to give water twice a day.   I'd like to plant herbs in the little "rock rooms",  the rocks will hold moisture i'm thinking.  Maybe.  It's not a good flower bed.  So what will happen here is yet to be dreamed up.  And DO i want things to be perennials?  or not….  But it's Ready.   

and i'd bought a big bag of potting soil the other day,  filled those little tomato seed start pots for the window inside.  

 

dumped the rest of the bag,  i think it was 40 lbs,  into this little arrangement.

 

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but by morning,  there was a really creepy ODOR from the seed pots….i cannot describe.  So i took the tray out and today emptied the little pots and cleaned out the "arrangement" and dumped it all out into the middle of the road to get flattened in.   Simultaneously and maybe coincidentally,  i have had odd periods of dizzyness.  And of course i immediately think there is some kind of toxic Mold or something in the soil and probably by tomorrow,  i will be found dead by Jan the Dog Trainer whose job it is for the New Mex Medical Examiner to "pronounce" and document unattended deaths in Socorro County,  so i emailed her and said if it was me,  the likely cause was the potting soil…the empty bag is in the truck.    So i did that.

 

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then,  this corner that in the past,  the whole corner,  was planted with some vegetable.  Most often tomatoes,  but last year i tried green beans….the poles.

 

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but on the right hand side is a Tay path.  Where she runs to peer through the fence when she hears something.  No way to keep her from that.

 

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so i filled the center of the stick circle and placed what rocks i had around the perimeter of the sticks, a couple pieces of wood.  Will bring more rocks from the Way Back to finish.  Will retry the green beans Inside the stick circle,  train the vines UP.

So, this is what i did.  And how it's all so different this time.  No sense of HURRY.  Just this smooth steady Doing.   First time ever that there has been

Enough Time

and i thought how i would more than anything, wish this for my kids.  To not need to wait until they were 70 years old.  To find a way.  It's so so Gentle.  

 

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this is Next.

 

 

 

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13 responses to “all so different this time”

  1. Mo Crow Avatar

    great drawing Grace!

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  2. jude Avatar

    hope you are still with us. is the hand traced and then the growth lines added? i like that.

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  3. Mo Crow Avatar

    x fingers you are feeling better today!

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  4. Nancy Avatar

    I hope you are feeling much better. Love the drawing. I saw this and remembered your reading & thinking of home and your wish (in answer to Dee’s post) of sharing with your children. Be well Grace.
    THE HOUSE OF BELONGING
    I awoke
    this morning
    in the gold light
    turning this way
    and that
    thinking for
    a moment
    it was one
    day
    like any other.
    But
    the veil had gone
    from my
    darkened heart
    and
    I thought
    it must have been the quiet
    candlelight
    that filled my room,
    it must have been
    the first
    easy rhythm
    with which I breathed
    myself to sleep,
    it must have been
    the prayer I said
    speaking to the otherness
    of the night.
    And
    I thought
    this is the good day
    you could
    meet your love,
    this is the gray day
    someone close
    to you could die.
    This is the day
    you realize
    how easily the thread
    is broken
    between this world
    and the next
    and I found myself
    sitting up
    in the quiet pathway
    of light,
    the tawny close
    grained cedar
    burning round
    me like fire
    and all the angels
    of this housely
    heaven ascending
    through the first
    roof of light
    the sun had made.
    This is the bright home
    in which I live,
    this is where
    I ask
    my friends
    to come,
    this is where I want
    to love all the things
    it has taken me so long
    to learn to love.
    This is the temple
    of my adult aloneness
    and I belong
    to that aloneness
    as I belong to my life.
    There is no house
    like the house of belonging.

    ‘The House of Belonging’
    From The House of Belonging
    Poems by David Whyte
    ©David Whyte and Many Rivers Press

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  5. Tina Avatar
    Tina

    Even when you are taking things slow you just keep going…going…going!

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  6. Kristin Avatar
    Kristin

    Grace, hoping that any residual affects from that potting soil have dissipated. Last season we experienced a challenge with the organic potting soil and topsoil we have used for years…strange aroma, and seeds failed to sprout well…thinking that some of the “organic” material used to make it had been doused with some pesticide at some point. We are searching for a new manufacturer this year…may find a local farm if we are fortunate.
    The bed with the beautiful colored rocks is lovely. And, your drawing of your hand quite wonderful.

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  7. grace Forrest Avatar

    how to do it with cloth….

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  8. grace Forrest Avatar

    i seem to be. yes. traced hand, like a child. the lines,
    roots, those oh so fine threaded roots

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  9. grace Forrest Avatar

    Nancy…this is UNBELIEVABLY PERFECT…..
    SO much Thanks for sending it along…way so much,
    This is the temple
    of my adult aloneness
    and i belong
    to that aloneness
    as i belong to my life.
    There is no house
    like the house of belonging.
    could not be more Perfect
    LOVE,

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  10. grace Forrest Avatar

    i do and i watch self doing that, how it is and how i am
    learning to really appreciate the going. Not just do it
    mindlessly to “get things done”, but in an entirely
    different way, to do things that my Life loves…so it’s
    becoming a kind of Love now in a more full way

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  11. grace Forrest Avatar

    it’s hard to imagine that the two were related but also
    had to imagine something not…the coincidence was exact.
    And the stench so Surprising and how it FILLED the house….
    I have never had dizzy ness before in my life. It scared me
    coming out of the blue.
    it wasn’t organic, just regular potting soil from the Ace Hardware brand. What they still had left from last season….they haven’t gotten this year’s batch in yet…so…maybe from sitting?
    I don’t know why i decided to buy it instead of using the composted soil from here….???? But tomorrow i’ll begin again.
    Maybe pour boiling water on those seed pots first?, just in case?
    Maybe it has nothing to do with the stinky soil but i can’t think of anything else and it was wierd and scarey.
    i love the rocks even more today. And that’s the Good that came of it all.
    I look forward to tomorrow.
    Love to you…

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  12. Nancy Avatar

    It sounded just like you to me 🙂

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  13. dee Avatar

    please stick around.

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