i wasn't sad about the maybe fugitive colour of the cloth yesterday, not yet, because it might NOT be fugitive but maybe i was something like sad for other things?
this morning box/table is kind of like how my mind feels. There is stuff but it's not energized.
and i remembered waking to the "information" that the day is how it is because you Choose it. It is your Choice….how it goes. So i put the onion skins into the copper pot
I dreamed about the Old Cowboy last night. He wasn't dead anymore, but he was also uhhhh, different. Maybe we could say he was just "back". His being Back was the center point of the dream but as it always is, there were a lot of sub plots. Lots of people. Lots of just goings. But at one point i watched him RUN down a long stairway of the place we were, like the house, a long stairway that was almost something like an escalator , he was RUNNING and i noticed how Strong his legs were, his thighs in particular but when he got to the bottom he just crashed. Fell flat. Though his legs were strong, he didn't have any idea how to coordinate things and he just smashed down and in the next scene, he was "upstairs" again and in a hospital bed just against the wall by the window and it was raining in on him, i had to move him and dry him off and all the people were suddenly there and i looked over and saw that there was a long counter with SO MUCH FOOD…so much and like large hams and maybe like Prime Rib things and trays of stuff that he, the OCB had brought out from the freezer and put there and i was trying to tell all the people to eat as much as they possibly could because otherwise we would need to just throw it out and i was also thinking at the time how could i possibly explain to him that none of his Stuff was there anymore…how could i explain to him where his table went, his belt buckle…it was all just Gone and really, it was hard for me to think where it went, but i also knew it wouldn't really matter, that he was only kind of there but also kind of not at all
His birthday is coming soon. He was alive on this day, last year.
here it is again and i got it wet and finger pulled it kind of flat…i won't iron it….and it IS a kind of vague blue
Wind
almost done.
windthread 
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