sometimes Feelings that are like this.
They returned Thursday night, Fate had been in the car seat from California. He drummed for Us.
Tay thought he was the most wonder Full thing imaginable.
they slept
we spent the day Together, but in a way, each in our own thoughts. Alyssia carries the diagnosis of Lupus. Sometimes it's hard for her. But she just Goes. Jeff, Fate and Destiny were off to Michigan for a wedding in that part of the family. Alyssia and Julian dropped off first at the train station in Albuquerque, back to California, stopping a while in Fresno…..the Going. the multiple Goings.
and very suddenly, they were gone.
there was silence. Only Wind.
i woke in the night. went out. sat.
today i am at a loss. Unable to get back to Before Them. Where am I now?, After Them???? The weeks became a forever, an All There Is. and it was Outside, everything was Out Side.
i feel mute. Sometimes Blank. the constant motion has become completely Still.
Tay lays by the gate, just in case. Just in case they come back.
my World here remains. and is Even More, from this time. But they are in my head. My children.
My children are in my head.
windthread 
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