windthread

truth is more interesting than fiction i'm thinking.  After slathering myself,  neck shoulder wrist hand with Arnica,  i went to sleep.   I dreamed long and deep.

Last night,  we (?) me, some women and children,  were in a very very large room space.  Maybe like a basket ball court in a gymnasium.  There were sleeping mats all over and blankets.  In keeping with one of the recurrent dream themes….Where do people sleep?  So they are all over.  And we are making all kinds of "outfits"…as in to wear,  of cloth and paper and whatever and this is the major activity until suddenly it isn't and there is a clearing of the sleeping things,  like stacked and pushed to the periphery and there are bicycles now.  Everyone getting their own bicycle repair kit and tools like allen wrenches.  A lot of discussion over this.  This is as much as i came "up" with.  There was a lot more but it was lost to consciousness but when i rose to consciousness  in order to pee at around 1 oclock…earlier than usual…i realized that i'd been sleeping with my legs in a certain tight Tension…wondered,  but as i am doing recently,  layed back down and envisioned the Dalai Lama's face,  the stern one on the Morning Wall and began with the bedside  mala and Om Mani Peme Hung, repeat, repeat, repeat and i drift back to sleep till morning.

WHEN i woke and sat up and was immediately aware that my hips and lower back were very much painful????????????  HUH?  But also,  the neck, shoulder and wrist/hand were fine….?????????? And to ReView,  the neck shoulder thing goes back to when i got smashed under the 8ft fence panel during the storm….i guess two years ago now?

so…Surprised,  i smeared Arnica on the lower back and went to hunt out the Arnica Montana that Michelle had sent me a long time ago from the basket in the bathroom.  Checked the expiration date which is June,  2019…OK…..5 pellets 3X a day.  Never done oral Arnica before.  

But tomorrow is a Rodeo Day.  Move Gideon to the new place and go to Jan the dog trainers to pick up SunnyRay.   eeeeeee.  I called Travis to see if he would be willing…not sure i would be able to help load him in the truck…wouldn't want to drop him….Travis: yes.  So ok.  

New Year's Eve is almost here and i have these things that i need to do.  So after getting the rest of the special meal in town…avacados and blue cheese,  i came home to bring in wood.  Enough till Sunday.  Twigs from TREE i broke up for kindling while the RABBIT watched.  So close,  just feet away,  un afraid.  So rabbit and i broke kindling,  me looking at him from the corner of my eye,  not really willing to acknowledge that he was where he is supposed to be.  But he was sure and ok with it all.

this is as far as i got today.  Not knowing what's going on and this new thing of my "lower hemisphere" which is the just going part of me….

so i didn't push it.

there's time, really.   And i had been thinking about what i want that last thing to say.  May you live 

………with ease.  How Sharon  Salzberg does Metta.  More commonly,  some version of May you live at Peace.   Daughter called and i asked her…she is non affiliated,  atheist.   i very much value her thinking.  We talked about the difference between the two,  with Ease and At Peace or With peace and it was good.  As i was thinking,  at ease has the quality of at ease with whatever circumstance you find yourself in.  Peace is a more loaded word and she pointed out that Peace would also indicate that more than the single individual was involved…whereas  at Ease,  is how someone singular could work to move inside a larger world of varying experience.  We talked about developing Skillful Means.  About developing skills that allow us to move within our circumstances with an openness and a FRIENDLINESS to all around us.  a Willingness.

So here We are.  Here i am.  I think of YOU.