a work away day, so nothing much except to bring more pieces. I know so little about this. I know that there is a merging of Human and Goat in the face, i know it is representative of the Feeling i have when i work OutSide with them, sit with them. When they come to me for Touch and companionship. I become a part of them. So i know this. I know that i'm not sure i can live without them anymore.
I seem to be knowing that i want scraps that to me are happiness. I vaguely imagine something like the pieces inside a Kaleidoscope, able to move and create design, but these are not intended for a design, but just fragment of colors and form. That's enough. That's all i seem to want.
So i am content to just sit and stare. To move these pieces around, watch how they interact. It absorbs me and for moments at a time, takes my mind away from all that is going on in the larger world.
And i talk to Daughter about
the baby
how we too move like pieces in a kaleidoscope, changing, moving, creating images, talking about the pieces of Land they will decide from…we call one of them the Mountain Lion . it backs into wild land…nothing to be seen beyond. There are marijuana farms around. What piece would that play in a kaleidoscope? She says people say they can't stand the smell. I think. I like the smell of marijuana, but i have never been around acres of it either. I think of bees. Bees pollinating those fat sticky buds. Or do they let them? Maybe they don't. I don't know. I think of going there. Taking Tay and Tazmeena the cat. Learning to live in a new place. A place more complex than this one i have known for so long. New trees. New plants. New lizards. New insects. New kind of living. With Children. It's been a long time.
windthread 
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