windthread

it's called…..Emrie's Cloth About Magic

I worked Away today instead of the usual Monday.  But i'd woken up with some raw thoughts.  Stood in front of Emrie's Cloth and looked down,  seeing this orange cloth from Deb Lacativa draped over a basket handle,  waiting.  You might remember it's been on and off the Wall for a while now,  has been appealing,  but also not colors i would easily use…there's pink in it.  And it's an odd orange.  I stared and then folded it over so there is a flap and pinned it….the combination of it and the FireFly cloth is, well….there is a tension.  But a very interesting tension, pulled even more by the black/white/red thread beads.   YES.

the thoughts i woke with were about all my i don't knows recently.  My hesitance and even resistance to go any further with a lot of conversation.  My hesitance and even resistance to answering and then making the effort to explain that would somehow demean something that is becoming more and more real in my life.  The questions from my brother brought all this to the forefront,  but really,  it's a lot about my being asked about LEAVING.    People say…an interesting number of them just bumped into like at the grocery or post office…people say…i hear you are leaving.  A couple have said,  I hear you are leaving to go babysit your grand children.  To this last version i just say….Sort of.

and I woke thinking i need to sit with mySelf and come up with some kind of words that can tell the Truth of why i am leaving.   and first,  i need to articulate to my Self what that truth is.  Leaving here is uncharacteristic of me.  

so…this is an effort toward that.  I hope it's ongoing.  I'd like to get clear.

so having the morning tea before going to work,  some thoughts came that might work 

but then other stuff came that was more of a truth.

It started with i want to be a part of Them creating Their World.   How my time is moving toward the ultimate end.  I want to spend these years Working with them to create the world they will continue.  Continue being Jenny and Alyssia,  but their Continuing would also be creating a Beginning for Julian, Destiny, Emrie, and Fate.  The Beginning of Julian, Destiny, Emrie and Fate in a rapidly changing world.  I'd like to watch this Unfold and i'd like to PARTICIPATE in that unfolding.  Add my two cents to it.

and i want to go so I can talk about Magic.  Every day.  As Part of the day.  Like speaking my native language.  Like speaking my Mother Tongue  (Maria….).  My Mother Tongue i learned from the woods and the creek of my childhood when that woods and creek were truly my Mother.   The language was Magic.  I'll talk tomorrow about what the creek taught me.    and this language of Magic is the language of this Earth,  this planet.  Those stars that don't even need or want a name.  it's the Magic of small softbodied brown beetles that become luminescent with LIGHT and transfigure everything by their innate urge to procreate. 

And,  if you are around them everyday,  not just a vacation,  if you are around them everyday,  you can talk like this with children.  They accept it as just your way of speech.  and it becomes Ordinary to them.  This is what i want.  I want it to become ordinary to them,  ordinary enough that they acquire as much of that language as they  want to.  

Art is Magic

Music is Magic

Leaves are Magic

Sky is Magic

Wind is Magic

Stone is Magic

Love is Magic