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not how i'd planned,  but the Catch Corner.  Another Triangle…

it's too soon.  Rescheduled Vet day is the coming Wednesday.  But Bill brought the panel,  said it was on the truck and he was on his way and as it goes,  we hauled it in and i didn't want it,  it wasn't the right length but he,  as he does,  said let's just see how it goes, so we did and it was barely ok and he was happy and trotted off and where does the burden lie here?  He is someone who doesn't take no for an answer.  Doesn't want to listen to the Why of the no,  Doesn't take into consideration that there might be good reason for the no but it takes more than 5 words or less,  takes standing and looking and finding words.  And he's not into that.  So i ended up with a panel that was too short,  but that will do,  but it was also too high.  That would not do.  So i got the Big Cutters  and cut off the top foot plus something of it,  wire by wire…it's cattle panel….steel.  I should NOT have done that,  it is taxing on my arm,  that right shoulder,  that nerve or whatever it is that runs up the shoulder into the neck,  the muscles of the ribs…all the parts that survived the fence falling on me 2 years ago,  but all the parts that fully remember that and that it took over a year to heal as much as it can in a 71 yo body….

and where does the burden lie?   This is nothing new.  I already knew it when he called asking about bringing the thing by.  I didn't stand my ground.  I wonder what would have happened if i did?  My guess is that he would have just showed up anyway.  But i don't know,  because i didn't.

Just before this,  maybe 15 min.  i heard a scream.  Sometimes the bucks hurt eachother.  Just some.  but there will be the sound of it.  I went out in my underwear and T shirt,  got half way there and they were all standing looking toward me,  i chose to decide that whatever it was was over.

went out just now to feed and the lower third of Jack Flash's ear is dangling by a thread.  the Tag,  one week old yesterday is gone.   No blood.  He's normal in behavior and appetite….just that 

ear

Vet closed.  They don't work Friday and weekends.  

This says something about WHY i have kept my world here small and closed.  I think about that.

 

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I go out every day now late after noon to pull Kochia.  In the 20 some years i've been here,  there's never been so much as this spring.  This part of the house yard is almost finished.  But i also saw that the Russian Sage and the Coral Berry have runners that have taken hold.  This has never happened before either.

 

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there is a small community of Lamb's Quarters.  More nutritious than spinach.  I'll give water.

 

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the Left side of the House Yard,  looking out.  it's Next.  Other than the Feather Grass,  almost everything green here is Kochia.

 

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This is Next # 4 or 5 maybe.  the Outside of the Doe Goat's Middle Yard,  where Snowbunny's grave is.   This is the farthest out i will go this time,  the last time.  I will leave all the rest to Travis and Everett.  Again.  I have never known so much Kochia.  There has always been a LOT.  Sometimes it made me cry.  But this year,  it's more.

They call it the Mother of all Bombs.   Bombs have no mother.  Bombs are made by the Patriarchy.

 

 

 

 

 

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19 responses to “how it goes”

  1. dee Avatar

    the misfit fence, the refused refusal, the torn ear, the invasive species making demands and then that final two lines. an ouch post

    Like

  2. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    Do you have any of Cyn’s Pain Relief? Perfect for the ribs and neck and shoulder when they are reminded of their original distress, and good to have around while you are pushing onward to the hill
    http://www.takingrootvt.com/_p/prd14/2138894935/product/pain-relief-salve
    Meanwhile love and comfort.

    Like

  3. cynthia Avatar
    cynthia

    I will order you some right now ..
    may this be a more gentle day much love
    cyn

    Like

  4. cynthia Avatar
    cynthia

    order placed xox much

    Like

  5. Tina Avatar
    Tina

    Grace I want to write …”don’t overdo”! But so much now seems out of your control. I’m grateful that you have people like Cynthia who just reach out and do what they can to help. Sending you all love and BLESSINGS!

    Like

  6. grace Avatar

    DEAR YOU!!!!
    call her and cancel it…i’m ok!!! have the arnica.
    Love and Love….

    Like

  7. cynthia Avatar
    cynthia

    oh i would not do that to either one of you, actually..tuck it away for another time if you do not need to use it now..it is a worthy save…xox much
    gentle day

    Like

  8. grace Avatar

    it was a Glaring reminder that no one but me can
    know certain things. I can do everything, but
    not everyday. I need to pace that kind of effort.
    Save the muscle for what is necessary, not things
    like this.
    I will remember as this time goes along.
    it’s the next morning now and i am really ok. Nothing
    hurts.

    Like

  9. grace Avatar

    yes…there IS no control involved. Just doing what
    is necessary to accomplish all of it.
    I just really need to choose well.
    I am so gratefull for Cynthia and for YOU….., you
    in this case because you understood my intention
    in this post. That matters a lot.

    Like

  10. ali Avatar
    ali

    Oh, those days – it all seems like it’s too much, then there’s another day and our perspective shifts a little and we go on. Glad that nothing is hurting now, hope you have some calm. Love…

    Like

  11. Linda Avatar

    you are right
    mothers wouldn’t make bombs..
    take as much care as you can and pace yourself. A nap doesn’t hurt..

    Like

  12. Mo Crow Avatar

    those weird out of kilter days, the good thing about them is it feels so good when the stars realign ever so tenderly & gently

    Like

  13. Mo Crow Avatar

    I had to sew up a nanny goat more than once when one of the working dogs on the property would escape and try to rip her throat out, that dog went to dog heaven in my arms when his owner was away. His partner & I called in the vet to make some radical decisions that needed to be made done…

    Like

  14. grace Avatar

    i answered this but it’s not here.
    Yes. it is an ouch. all of it.
    but what do i do? When there is a day that’s just that?
    Do i “walk on the sunny side”…?
    just not speak of it? or
    do i just be honest.
    it was a very Hard Day.
    my assumption is that We All have Very Hard Days and i won’t
    put anyone off by journaling them as they come

    Like

  15. dee Avatar

    Speaking your truth never puts ME off. And yes we all have these kinds of day. Hope things have eased some.

    Like

  16. grace Avatar

    yes…today was entirely different. Calm. Quiet and Good.

    Like

  17. grace Avatar

    naps. i rely on a 20 min nap. it’s my ReSet button.

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  18. grace Avatar

    today was a Gift.

    Like

  19. grace Avatar

    i can be part
    PART
    of self Vet ing. But i can’t do it alone. To CATCH Jack Flash,
    Hold him still enough to do what needs to be done is more than
    i am able.
    This is something i look so much forward to about the Hill. We will do things Together.

    Like

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