woke to BrainPickings,  Maria Popova.  There,   All These Wonders….the Moth.  Read.  feeling the pulse backward to where someone just had posted the cover of this book,  stories,  and how our lives are stories.   and was sure it must have been Deb G so left her a question on her blog and then thought, no, maybe it was Dee and went to look there but couldn't find it and by then,  Deb G  had  replied that it was Hazel….beep beep beep beep, the heartbeat ticked along the Red Thread  and i googled the Moth…HOW DID I NOT KNOW OF THIS??????????   and saw that these are on Utube and watched a few,  and read i guess on the Moth page how these stories are about Risk and Courage and the Unknown and i was so Clear that this is why i work so much now with Fear….and how it's not some kind of Weakness that i need to OVERCOME,  but a Real thing that is fair enough in the circumstances of Risk and Courage and the Unknown and i said Aloud,  I AM AFRAID.  and suddenly i needed to find the Magic Diaries Cloth…which toy box was it in?  and i found it 

 

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hung it.

Stared.

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when did i add this?….the place of Entry?….not that long ago…maybe a couple months?  give or take?

 

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at that same time,   i gave her arms.  Just with pencil,  but arms nonetheless.  Stuff to DO.  Need arms.

staring….that thing of Unknown was present.   This side i Know.  I wondered if i might just add to it over on the Right Side??????  But,  what about the Other Side?

 

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this is it.  Ok.  the Other Side.

 

and i thought about how when i was searching for the Moth,  i went to Deb G.   How she has this thing for FieldNotes that has always held me even before knowing her,  but so strong from knowing her

Field Notes

wikipedia

"qualitative notes recorded by scientists or researchers in the course of field research,  during or after their observation of a specific phenomenon they are studying.  The notes are intended to be read as evidence that gives meaning and aids in the understanding of the phenomena."

and i got out that drawing book that i'd started when everyone,  almost everyone, was here last year and that i'd thought  about doing something with, but didn't  and i got my Elmers glue and pasted stuff in and wrote some things

what's the difference between journaling and Field Notes?  

Field Notes are OBJECTIVE  descriptions of what one sees.   Here,  field notes would,  in this moment be about FEAR   in a 71 year old woman,  sending off a herd of Goats whom she has become Part Of.  Who have come to see her also as part of Them.  Ethnology.

ON THE HILL.

they have accomplished almost all the Goat World.  There are 4ft actual and real metal gates between 4×4 cemented in wooden  posts.  They made a corridor along side the outer fencing that can accomplish something similar to what i learned from the Vet here last week.   They have,  in place, what will be needed as a overhead shelter for the feeding.  for the storage of feed.  Alyssia took her dog Zoey who took risk and found courage and ran the perimeter into her unknown.    They talked to the adjacent neighbor whose dogs had ravaged the kids easter baskets and eaten chocolate bunnies and earphones both….he had heard them yelling at his dogs to GO AWAY,   and he agreed for them to use his present Tposts for new fencing which will limit his dogs,  a necessity in our thinking for the Goats and future chickens that the kids want.  Maybe not…dogs run loose there????  Learning.  What else?  other than it all goes so slow????  But there is phone reception always now and so most likely, Internet….so i can keep TELLING you once i get there…..

 

 

 

 

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30 responses to “following the pulse, the Red Thread”

  1. dee Avatar

    Mo left a note about the Gaiman collection on my post yesterday and then I saw the book on Hazel’s site just now… (haven’t been to Deb G’s lately) — by yeah, The Moth stories are phenomenal and by the way three out of four of your blog posts would qualify… the vivid accounts, the heart, the not holding back

    Like

  2. grace Avatar

    you give me tears. or how i do tears, just this misting stuff
    and i knew
    that you would connect to the Gaiman stuff, that’s why i
    went to look for it at your place

    Like

  3. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    So much good work here…their works, and yours. I like the whole wall format for the cloths. True story cloths. Very fine.

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  4. grace Avatar

    it’s a Pulse

    Like

  5. Nancy Avatar

    Ah, upon seeing the whole of it, my first thought was that through this cloth…you have one more way to take this place with you. A record of it, documented.
    The Moth…so much Yes! I’ve been listening for years and I agree, you could be a storyteller there. I have a dusty memory that my long time friend and her grown daughter (who I babysat when she was small) did a Moth storytelling session once.

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  6. Nancy Avatar

    …and then I thought of this, a favorite about storytelling:
    “I would ask you to remember only this
    one thing,” said Badger.
    “The stories people tell have a way of
    taking care of them. If stories come to
    you, care for them. And learn to give
    them away where they are needed.
    Sometimes a person needs a story more
    than food to stay alive. That is why we
    put these stories in each other’s memory.
    This is how people care for themselves.
    One day you will be good storytellers.
    Never forget these obligations.”
    -Barry Lopez
    Crow and Weasel

    Like

  7. cynthia Avatar
    cynthia

    this was so perfect
    gentle day

    Like

  8. Patty Avatar

    The biggest part of being brave is being afraid and going ahead.
    Dogs running free…do not good neighbors make. We have sheep so
    I know this is very true.

    Like

  9. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    Mmmmmmmmm, GREAT quote

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  10. ² Avatar
    ²

    thank you Nancy fot the storyteller by Barry Lopez
    greets

    Like

  11. Mo Crow Avatar

    love seeing the other side of the Magic Diaries Cloth!

    Like

  12. Peggy McG Avatar
    Peggy McG

    I typed into google Maria Popova and came upon an interview by Krista Tippit at OnBeing…
    Maria stated “Well, I think identity for all of us is this perpetual process. And it’s somewhat like constantly clearing out and rearranging an attic. And it’s as much about throwing out all the furniture and trinkets that no longer serve us as bringing in new ones. And in that sense, it is just as important to continue defining who we are as to continue eliminating who we are not.” Then she said “I dont think you can be deliberate about shaping your course forward because you then end up somewhere completely stale and expected.” Tippit said in reply, “you cant be directive, but you can be discerning in terms of fueling your future.”

    Like

  13. Hazel Avatar

    It seems everyone around me knows about The Moth, but before this book, I hadn’t heard of it either. Being able to say “I’m afraid” out loud seems like one of the strongest things a soul could do. You are so good at Knowing.

    Like

  14. Kristin Avatar
    Kristin

    Grace…a wonderful focus of thinking..yes saying I am afraid is so empowering…opens some of those gates and barriers we put in place to stay safe. These septuagenarian years have me finding more “allowing self” to express out load the feelings that show up in my poems and journals and sometimes poke their way into my stitching. The Moth is one treasure that keeps on giving, more and more….and thanks Nancy for reminding me of “Crow and Weasel” by Barry Lopez, always a favorite story when I ran the library on the Hoopa Reservation. A favorite for the children, their folks and for me.
    Your journey, your changes, your consideration of all the pieces continues to stir me, Grace, every day you post. So much of story lies ahead in this amazing journey to the hill. Happiness floods over me as I “see” your little dwelling nestled in the trees…what a wonderful place to be making more of your story.

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  15. Deb G Avatar

    Love this too.

    Like

  16. Deb G Avatar

    Thinking about how we fear because we love…

    Like

  17. ali Avatar
    ali

    That is True, although sometimes we love the wrong things.
    When my son was going through a difficult time I said to my husband (not his father) – ‘I’m afraid for him’ and he just answered ‘I’m afraid too’. That was all and it was so much exactly the right thing to say.

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  18. ali Avatar
    ali

    I suppose the fear is about attachment really.

    Like

  19. Saskia Avatar

    Greetings from Greece. Feels as if i am a long way a way…..which is true , of course
    But at home i feel closer. Even if that makes no sense. Following
    Oplossing your moves

    Like

  20. Saskia Avatar

    Sorry for typing errors. Using my phone

    Like

  21. grace Avatar

    i am so surprised to not have heard of them before…?????
    I love them on UTube

    Like

  22. grace Avatar

    yes. Crow and Weasel.
    thank you for putting this here

    Like

  23. grace Avatar

    it’s interesting, it’s the next neighbor’s dogs that come when someone is there and really, can’t blame them. No one has
    ever lived there before so it’s just been a part of their
    world.
    There are people too just down the way that raise llamas and
    horses. No one has fences for their dogs.
    If it weren’t for the Goats and the kids future chickens, i
    wouldn’t either.

    Like

  24. grace Avatar

    yes. the Other Side….it’s Tuesday and i’m still mesmerized

    Like

  25. grace Avatar

    directive…discerning…..

    Like

  26. grace Avatar

    I liked it. i liked saying it. Saying it made sense
    because it is true.

    Like

  27. grace Avatar

    i knew it inside of myself, couldn’t deny it, body
    was flashing flashing fear
    it took saying it Aloud

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  28. grace Avatar

    in this case, fear is about Safety. Wanting Safety.
    and in a way, that is attchment, but such a primal one

    Like

  29. grace Avatar

    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
    Greece!!!!!
    it does make sense. I KNOW your home. I’ve been there
    so many times….

    Like

  30. grace Avatar

    when in Greece, use one’s phone

    Like

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