i didn't hear from either of them yesterday or today. i wonder what THAT means? And i wonder if all this WAITING that's going on here, adds to the sense of dis~ease that prevails in the world….like if i should just say…ok….i'll sign off now and be back when i have something interesting to report?, i wonder that every day right about this time…evening…but then
i show up here with something.
i guess because there is always Something…that being the Truth of it all, there's always something in each day as they come and go.
I woke this morning after having a night of Dreaming that is becoming more and more surreal. I looked out the door window of the ROOM and there was nothing but SNOW…piled up and thick and blotting out everything, covering it with heavy white
and then looking out the front door, i saw Kenneth pull up next door at the falling apart trailer there that he grew up in and his mother owns still, and it's exactly as it is in waking life, no snow, but it's Kenneth, who is a very great flamboyant young gay man and he is wearing a hat with a rose on it and next to him is a little boy, maybe 5 yrs, who i understand is his son and i think o, eee, now what, and that i need to go over there and reassure them that the Goats are going soon…that's the fence we share, where the buck yards are and then i am in some kind of building that has separate spaces all attached by kind of breeze ways, hallways and i am standing in one looking out to a platform with fencing, like the Goat fencing and i think i am seeing two horses, stallions and they are engaged in combat but then realize one is a wolf and it has killed the stallion but there is no blood. As i stand, taking in that scene, i feel a being next to me who is a "Goat", but not quite, is really kind of a dog too…but really not that either, just the ears are like pit bull ears, so mostly a Goat but it's very Tall, long long legged and she begins TALKING to me…we have a conversation about this scene of wolf and horse
i wake this morning and make tea, come to the computer and turn it on, Windows makes that Hello sound, i look at my inbox then click on news and once again, there is no good news and i realize i am still expecting some kind of good news, just even ONE piece of good news but there isn't…this is Google New feed….and i think how all my life there was two kinds of news, the good and the bad, but always something you could take hold of, go toward….and now it isn't that way. How this is different. Really different. and how i still am intent on making my way as best i can through it. As best i can. No pollyanna stuff, but with Heart and with determination to not let THEM take me down
i refuse to let Them take me down.
and i look over and think…Thank God for Cloth! oh…if only there would be a God, Thank God for Cloth. For Cloth. Cloth. repeat, repeat, repeat.
windthread 
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