part of me would like to die here.   to grow incapable,  to just lie down and die.  Here.  But before that,  to continue watching.  Continue continuing.  day unto day.  I'd read somewhere a while ago that Climate Change here would manifest in increased heat,  but also WIND.  And i am seeing this now.  March is usually the month of Wind.  In the last two years this has extended to April and this year,  here we are,  Mid May,  usually the PeaceFULL month,  WIND.  Weather.gov,

the National weather channel calls what it is as Breezy.  35 mph straight line.  Not so much breezy.  Trying to put Goat feed over the fence is frought with frustration.  Expensive feed flings out in Wind and scatters while my eyes get hit with sand,  my hair obscuring my vision,  i squint.  These walls rattle.  Things fall off them.   WIND.  My true love.  How true love changes over time.

But still,  a part of me would like to stay here.  Till the end.

 

DSCN4899f

look at this.  I took 11 pics…the same ….and kept going for whatever reason,  just to see how they might show the wind i guess and this last one…look.  oh,  eee….WHAT IS THAT GREEn WHIRRING form?  not in any of the previous?  A deva,  saying look.  look at me.  See me.

Jenny,  my daughter called.  just after this.  I said so what's the reason for the call,  it's Monday night and she doesn't call on Monday night and she says…no reason.  Just calling and the conversation goes on just easy,  nothing significant other than a recounting of the work of the weekend with jackhammers on the Hill to place retaining wall so Alyssia's home can be brought and jackhammers through granite there.  They had sent me short video's of this.  But she goes on and somewhere in the late middle of it,  says that Ashley,  Fate's mother is so excited and happy that i am coming.  We wondered together about this because i don't remember being anything but really very neutral to Ashley,  Fate's mother when she was here, both times,  kind of low neutral,  really,  but Ashley is SO Happy AND she has the older son,  Elijah who is 9 yrs who is Ours by Extended,  and i think….ok.  for these Children.  This planet is their inheritance.  What you leave behind when you are dead.  Inheritance.   and though i might want to be here.  Here.  till death do i part,  i need to be There.  There is stuff still to do.  Ok.

 

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25 responses to “till death do us part”

  1. Peggy McG Avatar
    Peggy McG

    May your Deva follow you where ever you go.

    Like

  2. yvette Avatar
  3. Valerianna Avatar

    Wow, Grace, that DEVA! And, so much here… blown by wind.

    Like

  4. Liz A Avatar

    “There is stuff still to do” … and things still to see

    Like

  5. sue Avatar

    the photograph is beautiful… this place.. it travels with you wherever you go…

    Like

  6. Mo Crow Avatar

    being a mother is truly a lifetime commitment

    Like

  7. Wendy@ Late StartStudio Avatar

    I was thinking of moving, not far, but a place where I might have worms in the soil . . . there are none here, no soil either for that matter, just sand. But family would be too far away for a there-and-back visit in a day. No contest. I’ll stay here in this particular corner of paradise, by the beach, wormless.

    Like

  8. grace Avatar

    by the beach.
    i was told by an old man here, now gone, that there are worms EVERYWHERE.
    but they stay DOWN unless there is reason to come UP.
    by a beach…i don’t know.
    ?
    but i DO know that by building soil, which is a LOT of work, a lot of
    Time, but soil building…green and manure…can become a wonderland for
    worms. And worms, like the rest of us, bless their hearts, make MORE
    worms. it might be an interesting challenge.
    There and back in a day is, yes, no contest. There and back in a day.
    Oh, if i could.

    Like

  9. grace Avatar

    soil building like in ONE RAISED BED…just a small area.

    Like

  10. grace Avatar

    i think they stay. But i also think they are Every Where.
    Some will be waiting.

    Like

  11. grace Avatar

    just so Much, huh.

    Like

  12. grace Avatar

    yes…a trip. i was startled!

    Like

  13. grace Avatar

    so so much

    Like

  14. grace Avatar

    it’s what i’m made of now.

    Like

  15. grace Avatar

    i never think of things as Mothery
    more sisterly if anything and really, more just
    partners
    but a lifetime, yes. partners of a lifetime.

    Like

  16. Mo Crow Avatar

    you are a much better sister than I am, I have seen my brothers & mother three times since they went back to the US in the 70’s!

    Like

  17. Mo Crow Avatar

    worms will come even on a cement driveway given a good pile of moist mulch

    Like

  18. Peggy McG Avatar
    Peggy McG

    A word Worms Brings back memories of my most favorite place of childhood, the cabin. We had a worm pit, and we put all the coffee grounds in it. Never lacked for bait to fish for sunfish. I wish we still owned that place, still the Best Memories keep me in touch to that time.

    Like

  19. Wendy@ Late StartStudio Avatar

    As if to call me a liar I saw a worm on the beach as I was walking!
    I began feeing the garden lots of compost etc but the pohutukawa tree roots found it and the tree asserted its dominance over the garden . . . that’s fine by me especially when I hang a chair under it in the summertime for a read or to stitch.

    Like

  20. Valerianna Avatar

    I came back to look at that Deva again… really astonishing.

    Like

  21. grace Avatar

    i know…i don’t know what to say….
    is very different than the others….

    Like

  22. grace Avatar

    EEEEE….oh….Worms Rule!, even on the beach!
    and a tree that you can hang a chair from….this is
    Excellent. I have no such tree here.
    Once in California, a priority is going to be a hammock.

    Like

  23. grace Avatar

    these memories are so valuable, let us trust the parts of
    ourselves that come from that time.
    I used to fish with my Uncle. Hours on end. for those
    little lake perch. My aunt would pan fry them in butter.
    I wish you still owned that place too.

    Like

  24. joy in az Avatar

    crying
    yes.. go invest in Them
    it will be hard..
    your NM alone-life
    secure inside you
    a platform of inner strength
    patterns to build on.
    it will support you.

    Like

  25. grace Avatar

    i know you KNOW about these things. I click on your woman with hair
    flying and there is your blog…still…waiting. You went into
    the Thick of It.
    BIG LOVE,

    Like

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