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under the Old Apricot…the Toads soaking pond.

Tay sleeps inside everynight until somewhere around 2:00.  I hear her go out…the rattle of the dog door that she barely squeezes through.  She sleeps outside till morning.  In the wet cool earth.

 

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creating this Place for herSelf,  she excavated this Dangle Thing that i'd forgotten about.  I washed it,  hung it.  This is only part of it.  the Light makes it hard to photograph.  I wondered….Take it? ,  as i wonder about Everything now,  and i think,  yes.  I'll give it to the kids.  They can decide how it might be.

 

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which turned my eye to this,  that has been hanging here in place for so many years.  Just Hanging. First,  when it was a screened in porch and then when it became the ROOM that Jenny and i made.

 

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i need to take it down and clean it.  It's covered with fly shit and cooking grease,  whatever and the threads are stiff.  Is today the day?…not…not yet.

 

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my friend Jane,  from when i was 17 years old,  i talked to on the phone and she told me about  two Ravens who come to where she is in Alaska.  and i remembered this…the chapter of Raven and get into the book packed tub and find it and begin reading again….

he writes things that no one else could or should…even try to.  He rides the razors edge of almost too much,  but never falls…his mind takes us places

and this and that thing that hangs in the room….I want to make things that can't Exist….i am full,  like full of Urge to make things that can't exisit.   What do i do?  with that urge?

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20 responses to “angstfull urge”

  1. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    Make things and pack them up.

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  2. ali Avatar
    ali

    I know that feeling – hard to describe but huge. Perhaps it’s our connection with Creation. Maybe just be with the energy it gives.

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  3. Mo Crow Avatar

    ” In Madasgascar, large white “goat’s eye” beads can miraculously bring the wearer things that do not actually exist, and so are deemed particularly magical.”
    from page 101 of “Amulets : a world of secret powers, charms and magic” by Sheila Paine Thames & Hudson 2004
    &
    “All our language is composed of brief little dreams; and the wonderful thing is that we sometimes make of them strangely accurate and marvelously reasonable thoughts. What should we be without the help of that which does not exist? Very little. And our unoccupied minds would languish if fables, mistaken notions, abstractions, beliefs, and monsters, hypotheses, and the so-called problems of metaphysics did not people with beings and objectless images our natural depths and darkness. Myths are the souls of our actions and our loves. We cannot act without moving towards a phantom.”
     – Paul Valéry

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  4. jude Avatar

    If you can imagine it , it exists.

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  5. dee Avatar

    maybe the urge to make things (any things) takes second place to the packing and moving of existing things for a bit? this has to be frustrating, but is different from wanting to make things that can’t exist. a pragmatic view.

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  6. grace Avatar

    i can’t imagine it…that’s the thing, it’s un imaginable.
    there, off and on, but un imaginable
    it’s well…
    ee…
    it can’t exist.

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  7. grace Avatar

    the urge rose up….it stays dormant most of the time….it rose
    up from reading Lopez’s words and finding Deborah Bird Rose
    his mind, Lopez’s, always does that for me…so i don’t read
    his words too often

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  8. grace Avatar

    this is the Other Thing…the thing that is intangible

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  9. grace Avatar

    yes…huge. and yes…connection with Creation…sometimes
    i think i want to be the God thing, make something alive
    and yes…i want to stay with the energy for a few days
    and thank you for Knowing that feeling

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  10. grace Avatar

    “we cannot act without moving towards a phantom”….
    Thank You, Mo, for these words

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  11. Kristin Avatar
    Kristin

    Thinking as I watch your process of decision making with ..take it, leave it….and remember that when I made my big journey just 6 years ago there was not consideration time for doing just this…and over these years much keep it or leave it has taken place and as space is crated, breathing expands…letting go, finding memories to keep, all part of this life journey we are traveling…’twill be lovely to set up your new spaces with less and be mostly finished with the take it or leave it conversations. Soon, yes, I am sure, soon you will be heading to the hill and new adventures will unfold ever minute, every day…you are well and that is very good.

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  12. jude Avatar

    ha, i can’t imagine that!

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  13. grace Avatar
  14. ali Avatar
    ali

    I don’t so much know, as recognise it when you describe it. That’s helped me to understand a little better. Thank you Grace, for sharing so much.

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  15. dee Avatar

    I will have to pull him down off the shelf today and take a peek… K has a lot of books by naturalists — Edward Abbey, John McPhee, Peter Mathiessen, Wendell Berry… I’ve read some of these guys, but not Lopez, so thank you for that.

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  16. saskia Avatar

    loving these, your hanging objects
    don’t part with them
    well not yet anyway
    for my sake,if nothing else
    (rather selfish of me i know, but there it is)

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  17. grace Avatar

    it will be a whole different thing. and yes…soon.

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  18. grace Avatar

    you and i agree.

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  19. Dakotah Avatar

    I really love that little green and peach basket!

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  20. grace Avatar

    Patricia Spangler made it….she’s listed in Jude’s Community
    she no longer makes them, i think

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