since birth.

an afternoon of that thing of it being like watching a slide show of still images….projected on a white surface,  … pic!  pause….pic! pause….pic….etc.

i  can't be coherent about it all.  I guess because i really just don't want to now,  just want to make note of it.  Because the most recent August just passed and we need to Go into September.  so just a couple things to note.

Tina emailed a question about one of the photographs that are in the Handeye article about Wendy Golden Levitt's work with Textiles and Children.  It's on Jude's Sidebar.   Was it my cloth?, she wondered?…and Yes.  The photograph is of a childs hands gently set upon a cloth that they had draped atop a drum.  It's the Tay cloth i sent.    The Handeye mag's date is 2010 and i could not really believe that it was that long ago???  But that doesn't matter.  What does matter is that i went back in Picasa files,  thinking to look for it there…i have no printout….but it quickly became overwhelming and i returned to the blog,  thinking to look in the Archives,  which if you click Archives,  go back to 2010.  and i looked in the month of August,  2010 and that stopped it all dead in it's tracks.  Only looked at a few pics,  one of which was of the Hoop House that daughter and i built where the middle Doe Yard is now.  Like a whole different life,  a whole different world.  Which it was.  and Is.  The photographs of that August….oh, eeeeeee.   I stop and stare off…what has happened??  WHEN did it happen?  What really IS IT that has happened?  

One thing i would GRIEVE so so deeply is if i somehow got lost to all the years of Picasa…there are hundreds of pics there that are just magnificant to me and the only record of this Place.  I …here's that word….i  only HOPE to make it to California with all this computer stuff intact so they can Tech me safe with it all.  It hangs by a "click".

and back to that photograph in Wendy's article.  I see it in my present frame of mind,  which is what,  i don't exactly know,  but needing to distance from things,   but with this pic,  there is no distance and i remember the Lizard Cloth that so many of the children have used,  one in particular who went on a walk with Wendy,  out through the nearby woods.  Along the way,  she fed the cloth lizard some berries,  leaving small red stains,  but said not to worry…to Wendy….they would wash.  and on the way back,  she buried the lizard cloth at the base of a White Pine tree as her grandmother had taught her.  They sat.  for a while.  until it was long enough,  brought the cloth up from the earth and returned.  These images in my mind called into question that distancing….because in so many ways,  i am so much the same as Wendy's children,  still,  and by being that,  feed my soul.  

soul

soul of me,  soul of planet

and there's just so much,  i guess it's overwhelming sometimes.  

 

DSCN5769f

and isn't it interesting,  how it All Goes…how i am suddenly putting pics of the Other Side here…

this is how far i got today.  

the OtherSide,  the Front,  is what i "make" of it all.  This side is how i travel to make that Image.  both are critical to a Life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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12 responses to “still conflicted”

  1. Michelle in NYC Avatar

    You might get a couple of compact disks and transfer all that’s in the past to carry with you in a water proof container so you could transfer it to any computer on a arrival. Maybe Jude’s ‘Man’ could be asked through Jude in an email for directions and suggestions ’cause i’m no technical expert on devices…I do know it can be done if time allows.
    Meanwhile here’s some PEACE from my friend Devadas project which several friends and me took part in…”Wake Peace” is me. Its about ten minutes I think:
    https://youtu.be/bBQ2suww9mY

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  2. jude Avatar

    it’s simple to save all your files. As long as your computer doesn’t die.
    I’m looking at a similar map of going this morning. It’s helping with the confusion that has overtaken me.

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  3. Mo Crow Avatar

    I love seeing the other side!

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  4. Linda Avatar

    “how I travel to make a life” good words.
    Good to see how it all came together. cloth and life..

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  5. ali Avatar
    ali

    I am often overwhelmed by the so muchness of things, I mean the richness of life and possibilities. Then your words make me think of journeying and taking the right path through all these choices (often tiny choices), which is not always obvious, but trusting that our feet will find it.

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  6. grace Avatar

    Love….the best of all for anything

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  7. grace Avatar

    Alyssia did something a couple years ago re: a Thumb Drive? i
    think it’s called?
    but this made the think that maybe i’ll ask Travis in the next
    week or so….

    Like

  8. grace Avatar

    these maps….no “understanding”, no “interpretation” necessary,
    just the looking does it….says: Continue

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  9. grace Avatar

    me too…so much

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  10. grace Avatar

    still Going, both.

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  11. grace Avatar

    thinking a lot like this today…Wed. the 13th…

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