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old mother inherits crocs from midling boy

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since that post of April 1,  the MOON post,   Fixed,  i have thought.  Slowly.  Thought by thought.  slow.   going back,  then going forward.  I said i was fixed.  grounded.  HERE.  Finally Here.   What did i mean?   and there is an immediate and easy association to that meaning "home".  Am i  feeling  "home"?   

that word.  Home.  what exactly does it mean if you stay with it for a long slow time?   Home.  and no,  i don't think i have a feeling of home.   And if i go slowly back,  there is that Other Place.  If i go back in my mind's eye to that Other Place,  is it "home"?   Was it "home"?  if it was,  why?  

Am looking at that word,  and all it conjures,  which is huge,   wanting to really understand it.  And maybe "home" isn't something at all 

necessary

in the ordinary sense of the word?  

Maybe i would like to be fully Present,  in each moment,  in this Place.  Maybe i like feeling Fixed.  Grounded.  To this earth.   I would like to be fully Present,  with a curiosity and Openness to what it is that is evolving every day?   and not give it the name of home,  which somehow feels like i am reducing it to something Known,  something of the past?   What if i don't need to name it,  but just live it?

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33 responses to “old mother inherits crocs from midling boy”

  1. Laura R Avatar
    Laura R

    Home. I always thought I knew what it meant… So many other ideas of home in the news leads me to rethink…

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  2. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    o!….tell me!…what’s in the “news” about home????? i don’t get much news….

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  3. Mo Crow Avatar
    Mo Crow

    I have been homeless with no idea where I was going, what I was doing or what would happen next, a wise friend said “You’re in freefall Mo, enjoy it! How often do get the chance in this lifetime to not have to be anywhere or do anything?”

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  4. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    isn’t it quite Beauty Full…that freefall?

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  5. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    isn’t it like we will end this time Around, a freefall?

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  6. Mo Crow Avatar
    Mo Crow

    no matter where you go, there you are, until you’re gone

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  7. joanne Avatar
    joanne

    Home. It’s not a house….it’s what and who lives inside.
    As to death –I believe we close our eyes on one life and open them to another. Each life with “lessons” to be learned, pain to be suffered, joy to be given and received. I was told you could ask a very young child who they were the last time they lived. And they will tell you.

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  8. Linda Avatar
    Linda

    I remember that feeling when moving here 38 years ago. All I took was in my car and that was it. I made a home here and whenever I went back there people would say… when are you coming home? It was brought up again this weekend. Home…
    It is where I live now, not some place I used to live.
    Sorry but a lot of feelings around this one right now. You are there with your family… Home.

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  9. Michelle Slater Avatar
    Michelle Slater

    I just watched that alan watts animation again, having followed you back through the ‘related article’ and all the comments on that post. I am currently at ‘home’ in the apartment I’ve occupied since 1969, surrounded by the artifacts of all those decades, having woken up about twenty minutes ago from a dream in which I was telling a man who was full of regret about his life (a leftover from a Masterpiece Mystery I watched before bed) that his regret had nothing to do with reality, that it was a waste of time. I call my current home ‘the museum of me’ because it is that in a way. Yet all the manifestations of ‘me’ could evaporate and still they would exist in my memory, at least until I no longer have a body in which to experience those memories. Meanwhile I am at home within the walls of an apartment three flights up in a pre-war building in Manhattan, NY, USA, on planet earth, a tiny speck on a tiny speck in a vast and swirling universe of matter situated somewhere within what we call the milky way galaxy. It’s Monday morning very early and relatively silent here. There’s a pigeon on the windowsill outside who also woke. A new red geranium sits on another sill. We are waiting together for the sun to rise. https://youtu.be/aQ5upMz0_ig

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  10. Dakotah Avatar
    Dakotah

    I’ve never had my own home. But in each house I’ve done my best to make it my own.
    Lately it seems to me no matter where you are you’re just renting. Even my belongings, I’m just renting them. Because my presence here isn’t permanent. I really don’t get to hold onto anything.

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  11. kathy dorfer Avatar
    kathy dorfer

    when i have those feelings of Home i just try to remind myself of ” grow where you are planted “.
    been feeling a lot about changes lately . “be here now ” is my constant mantra .
    i am so in awe of you and your physical move .
    xxoo

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  12. Laura R Avatar
    Laura R

    Oh, Grace. You may not want to know. I’m extra sensitive to world news. As much as I feel lucky in unlucky situations, I feel angst for others who have so much less.

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  13. Peggy McG Avatar
    Peggy McG

    Grace, huge hugs to you! I have been paying mortgage on my house for over ten years, purchased it while living with my love in his home, knowing I would outlive him. I am now in this house five years this last month, and just now, after reading all of this post including the link back, realize I do not call this my home. It is “my house”. Where I store all of my belongings that represent my life. (And I have a lot of stuff). When did I have a home? My children were raised in our home. They now gave homes of their own. I am currently sorting and boxing stuff to leave this house and embark on a journey in just my car to camp in as many state and national parks, sans stuff. I will always come back to my home state, where my family is permantly camped in their homes.. Thank you all for your comments, as they have made sorting my stuff easier. This community is so “Full”.

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  14. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    empath. to be an empath. i know this.

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  15. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    yes. this is what i am thinking. it’s not a static thing, but rather, a dynamic LIVING. it’s the LIVING. Not the form around it at all.

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  16. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    so much FEELING to the word, home, yes…but it’s a
    loaded word and not so much what it Could be if we look at it,
    What they might be saying is…when are you coming back to me? and that is so full of so much. When do we go to them, when do we stay? I have worked with this for so long.
    I think the feelings around it all are oh so worthy of love and compassion

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  17. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i just made my bed for the night….new, clean sheets, pillow cases. Home. to me, those are home. Clean sheets. Pillow cases. a bed to put them on. No rain or snow or wind. Shelter. Shelter till morning.

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  18. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    this is the underlying thought, or rather, understanding
    i am going deeper for here…my buddhist study of
    impermanence. it’s the perfect time for the perfect
    lesson. No. we don’t get to hold on to anything.

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  19. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    it’s so funny, isn’t it, how the Ram Das be here now
    was so wild and alluring back years ago…but now
    there is such RAW truth to it

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  20. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i am SO loving working on all this, in my time now…
    how it’s just beyond perfect a scenario…and at 72 years
    I just get a huge grin thinking about all the stories
    you will find and how they will fill your heart
    I am excited for you
    and what a Beauty Full thought…to let your family
    hold the permanent campsite to which you can always
    return…and leave again….

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  21. jude Avatar
    jude

    coudn’t comment here for a few days.
    i think home is just where the heart is. nothing new but seems true.

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  22. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    was just listening to your this morning’s Post a few
    times, looking at the cloth pieces, listening,
    how to understand what i’m trying to really understand…
    ?….
    but it’s where the DOING ness of any of us happens,
    somehow, and so in my way of thinking at this moment,
    it’s that…our Doingness….not so much the place of
    doing.
    Love thinking all this….

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  23. joanne Avatar
    joanne

    Grace you give us all opportunity the for thinking about all this. Thank you.

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  24. Elizabeth Ingraham Avatar
    Elizabeth Ingraham

    I’m thinking of you, Grace. Just ordered my Bankers Boxes! I’ve calculated I’ve moved 29 times and I’ve just sold the little house where I’ve lived the longest–17 years. Setting off for a new phase of my life, with a radically reduced amount of stuff. I’ve rarely felt “at home” in my life. For me, this is not necessarily a bad thing. As for you, I believe you will become beautifully rooted during the coming year.

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  25. jude Avatar
    jude

    still i sense it as place. place holding maybe. are we place holders?

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  26. Deb Lacativa Avatar
    Deb Lacativa

    Home. Well, you read my post.
    I love the way everyone seems to love their crocs, but I can’t wear them. My strange flipper feet get rubbed raw in minutes. Socks don’t help.
    Somehow the browser on my newish laptop gives me the following link when I type W in the url place in Chrome:
    http://windthread.typepad.com/windthread/2013/09/212.html

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  27. Michelle Slater Avatar
    Michelle Slater

    Mmmmmm, yes.
    Shelter.

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  28. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i feel we are held by places. Places being the piece of
    Earth, the piece of the Planet, this planet Earth,
    where we stand…our feet, the sky above, surrounded
    by all manner of other Life that shares that maybe
    1 foot of earth and all that surrounds. That we
    are held and so carry out our lives. Many ways to
    think of that, the carrying out of a life.

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  29. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    Will you map this movement?
    i am still lost in your website…as, quoted from
    something i read a long time ago, “lost like the stars are”
    the Ground Cloths…
    “respond to a particular location….they document what
    is unseen, invisible, remembered or imagined”
    i love so much these words of yours…the cloths themselves
    these words help as i work to understand this experience.

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  30. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    this is only my second pair. the first coming from the thrift shop in N Mex, just going till the soles wore
    through. Now these. Both are “not my size”…too big
    really, but maybe that’s why i can use them?
    my beloved birkenstock sandals don’t work here…i need
    traction on this hill. Plus the wet of the winter earth…
    the mix of Goat shit and that wet….the
    crocs work.
    love that…your browser giving me, via you, that
    old post…it’s a key for today, now, Here.

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  31. Elizabeth Ingraham Avatar
    Elizabeth Ingraham

    ‘Will you map this movement?”
    I think I shall. ❤️

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  32. saskia Avatar
    saskia

    as a person who swings from wanting stuff to unwanting stuff, delighting in beautiful objects, furniture and surroundings, i also know, as in KNOW, that the possession of objects is without meaning, i add meaning of sorts; and i sometimes fantasize about letting everything go, except the people, my husband i could not live without, our sons who will leave/have left, a given

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  33. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    I consider that perhaps Home is Connection, of varied sorts. Connection to land, memories, personal history, feelings fulfilled…
    Just some thoughts.

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