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She is about to bloom.  For sure,  then,  we will know her  "name".   But when you "google" her,  there's not much information.  In comparison to what she really IS…living near her.  As i type this,  her scent rises from my hands….a soft brief touch when i was giving water,  and her scent lingers,  strong,  an hour later.   And if i say, yes.  this is "what" this plant person "is".  What does that actually mean?   I guess,  it is a way to communicate.  a way to exchange information.   Like to Like.   Across distance.   This Hill to say,  Jaimie's world.    But it's not ALL of it.   All of it requires learning a very expansive   context.  A complicated context that takes very soft, slow looking.   A soft slow being with.

so there's that.

and then i thought today a lot about what things mean in terms of where i've "gotten to".   All the places i had thought i wanted to go,  could go.   Again,  Jaime's link took me to Susun Weed and back back back to so long ago now,  to when i thought i wanted to be a midwife.   How i read Susun Weed's  work,  Ina May Gaskin's Spiritual Midwifery,  both of them making me want to "become" something…a midwife with knowledge of the  Plant People.  I ddn't.

and i have wanted to be other things.  I wanted to be an artist.  I studied with Kay Gould Caskey.  Graphite.    I drew a lot of things,  but i didn't become an artist.

I wanted to become an artist of Cloth Making.  I studied Jude Hill,  and have made cloth.  I have not become a Cloth Artist.  I am a student of Jude Hill.

so i thought about all this today as i wandered around,  calling Goats….Come Come…in a bright voice that they like and respond to…Come Come and i wander a hill and late in the afternoon stitch yet more Kantha stitches,  slow slow they go and i thought about how i'd wanted to go sit in front of that Plant Person with my drawing journal and pencil and

it's dusk.  The Goats are just over the way,  browsing what is left from other browsing….evening and they don't like to go far from "home",  so it's dry leaves and twigs.    I guess i am a Goatherd.    and i guess i am a grandmother.  Julian returns tomorrow from New Jersey,  his summer in the City and i will swim with him in the canal/creek.

 

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18 responses to “what do things mean. ???. …”

  1. Peggy McG Avatar
    Peggy McG

    I tell my children if I die tomorrow remember I died happy. I have made choices along the way that took me on paths where I was supposed to be. I will never be the bush woman in Alaska, nor a welder will I be (ha!), but I have studied and learned and there is still so much more to learn. Jack of a few trades, and master of some will come in my next life. I am ok with that. Each grandchild is unique, you are so blessed.

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  2. Michelle Slater Avatar

    Blessed indeed all along the path to now. Blessed Now. So good to know who you are and then keep becoming. I’m everything I’ve ever been and all that I encountered AND it’s not over yet.

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  3. joanne Avatar
    joanne

    I used to wonder who I was supposed to be–if I had done things better. The right way. who am I kidding? I am who I am. Learning. Making mistakes. Just going (as Grace says). And I’m mostly happy and content and still here.
    Waiting for that plant to blossom.

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  4. jude Avatar

    And I’ve simply become unsure.

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  5. Deb G Avatar

    This is something I think about a lot… Making is such an important thing to me, it’s part of who I am…but cloth artist is not something I can ever see defining myself as (although I wouldn’t ever say it would never apply). What I do know is that we are all story tellers and learn from each other.

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  6. Tina Avatar
    Tina

    My family knows you as the goat lady .. I know you as a special teacher and friend

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  7. beth Avatar

    Love that last sentence Michelle.

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  8. Mo Crow Avatar

    last year my sculptor friend Bronwyn Berman wrote this great reply to a conversation we were having via e-mail about making it in the art world;
    “And what is made it or almost made it? My experience is that we make it then we unmake it. I think I’ve made it more than once but thought I hadn’t made it so kept wanting to make it, then when it had been unmade again I realised that I had made and not appreciated it, then think that really what I have now is making it then think I’m a deluded ‘has been’ who is too old to ever make it, and in any case couldn’t be bothered with too much of making it. I think we’re probably always making it, as soon as we make it the unmaking begins and when we’re unmade then we start making again.”

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  9. jaime Avatar
    jaime

    Thank you for updating our lady’s status. I believe that words are not all there is but sometimes we need them to share info.
    I hope in your wandering yesterday you were able to see what you have become to others. You are like mystery lady, I won’t assume to label either of you. Just one small part of the experience.
    Did the loss of your friend Wendy trigger the angst of “is it too late to…”. I know I am feeling it as I shift between my mothers death and my own birthday.
    I hope you are soaking in the creek and soaking the creek in. And soak in the grandchild. You are blessed.

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  10. Deb G Avatar

    And you know… I do call the cloth made by you art. 🙂

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  11. grace Forrest Avatar

    i have studied and learned
    yes. there is honor in this

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  12. grace Forrest Avatar

    everything you’ve ever been…it is so.

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  13. grace Forrest Avatar

    always to wait till something blossoms…us too

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  14. grace Forrest Avatar

    i think unsure is a good place

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  15. grace Forrest Avatar

    telling the story as it goes…this is such an important
    thing

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  16. grace Forrest Avatar

    your family knows me right, then and you, i love

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  17. grace Forrest Avatar

    in the “art world” is way, way beyond

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  18. grace Forrest Avatar

    it’s Sunday now and yes. the words are needed…look
    what they gave us…that LINK…..
    and we DID, we soaked, the creek washed us New and
    Wild.

    Like

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