20181218_161607

there's an article in the local newspaper telling the story of a young woman,  25 and her mother,  66.   The  daughter fled the fire.  Her mother refused to go,  said there was time enough.   and died in it.  There is a large photograph on the front page of her,  the daughter,  her fingers holding a baggie of papers or photographs,  one of many in a plastic container of such things.

the story of this was written in a matter of fact spare manner.  raw.  told of  a relationship of mother and daughter that would be not unfamiliar to many.   i read it,  hearing Voice,  like those radio stories i listened to this weekend.  Voices,  telling.  Hers,  her mother's.   

It's painfully beauty full.  It's painfully horrible,  for the daughter….who had yet reached the age when she could stand up to her mother,  a mother who maintained her alpha position.  They would have come to a different balance in years just some ahead,  but not yet.  And the daughter is left behind.  Alone.  The title of the article is   I Want My Mother Back.

this time of year, when families come together, when so much is at the table.   To be sure to TRY to let it all go,  all of the contentiousness no matter how legitimate,  and to just say….Even Though.  Even Though,  i love you anyway.  I love you anyway.  I will love you anyway,  forever,  whether i want to or not,  whether you want it or not.  And whether it fixes anything or not,  no matter the response.  At least you said it.  

Posted in

10 responses to “human beings, the god Thing….spirit, the holy. That which we can never know.”

  1. Angie Avatar
  2. Laura R Avatar
    Laura R

    ooh. So much wisdom, Grace. Read your post while listening to FFord. My beloved mother died this summer, and now I’m the alpha. Struggling to make Christmas happen for my family. So much for so many, and I appreciate each individual story.
    Xox

    Like

  3. jaime Avatar
    jaime

    Yes, Grace,this has been a hard year, losing my mother in March then my 29 year old nephew in September. So much loss in a family that does anger so much easier than sad. I think most of us have shattered hearts which I think is good because we are aware of the sharpness. And so far have remembered tenderness when we can. It is hard, but it can/will be done. To keep on. We are all we have left. Ubuntu.
    Thank you for sharing that story as well as the others.

    Like

  4. Michelle Slater Avatar

    I love you Grace and all who visit here.

    Like

  5. Liz A Avatar

    unconditional love … no matter what

    Like

  6. Mo Crow Avatar

    Love Love Love

    Like

  7. Peggy McG Avatar
    Peggy McG

    Ditto that, I love you too Michelle.

    Like

  8. Tina Avatar
    Tina

    Thinking about the relationship I had with my own Mother .. my sister said at her funeral ” all my life I wanted an ordinary mother .. what I came to realize was I had an extraordinary mother”. I would have to so totally agree with her. My heart goes out to this young woman and from a distance embrace the anger and brief she must be going through and pray for her.

    Like

  9. ² Avatar
    ²

    it is easyer to love those who understand me
    i’ll try to the others and
    look in my own mirror

    Like

  10. Judy Martin Avatar

    saying ‘i love you’ out loud is the first step.
    I love you Grace and Michelle and all who visit here. xo

    Like

Leave a comment