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when you love

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can you see it?   it is on the stem of the magnifying glass.  Once again,  no more than a pin head.  It was on Alyssia's shorts,  moving along,  making it's way when she noticed it.   We got the magnifying glass and here it is.   It's Self,  looking so much like a crustacean.  a shrimp, maybe.  crayfish.   But stacked on its back,  bits of stuff. and as we watched it,  it added to that stack of stuff as it went.   Its Life.  What was it DOING?   and then we lost track of it .   

That we share this Place with things we might never know even exist….we could never have  imagined  such a being,  but what is its Life?   What part does it play in the Whole of this Place?   Something…..and we might never know.  But we SAW it,  WATCHED it,  loved it for the moments we shared with it.  Love.

I spent long moments tonight with the buck Goats.  I have been distanced from them for a while.  We cannot allow them again to breed this herd.  Ever.  And so,  they have no "use" here.    They are of the age that they can be of use to another herd,  but most  would choose younger bucks. Their "window" has passed.  Buck Goats.   Not much needed.   or wanted.  We have two.  Sunny Ray and Nogal….and Sunny Ray's best friend Jack Flash who is a  wether and best friend ever.  so the conversation goes…in the midst of the construction,  in a few sentences and then nothing,  a few sentences,  and i guess we will figure out  a way to prevent any future breeding events.  There is a thing that is 8 inches wide….forever long strips of it that we can weave into the cattle panel.  It would take two weaves.   Right at penis level.    A long long weaving…their forest yards are BIG.  But 

we somehow love them.  because they are Ours.

how do we love them?,   as it was there,  tonight, they come to be touched.    they  lower their heads to be scratched and caressed.  They love this.  Come for this,  stand for this.  We give love and receive love.   Who gives?  and Who receives?  My hand as i type this,  my right hand gives off the scent of them.  I lift it to my face.  Buck.  Goat.  Love.

 

 

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19 responses to “when you love”

  1. Mo Crow Avatar
    Mo Crow

    love your wild being!

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  2. Michelle Slater Avatar
    Michelle Slater

    Love conquers all beings, the strand=ge crustacean critter, the ‘useless’ bucks, and each and every one of you. It is so very encouraging.

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  3. Saskia Avatar
    Saskia

    oh I can well imagine this Being collecting, don’t we all one way or another… and Loving it, but of course!
    I cannot recall where I saw this, it was recently I think, or I seem to remember it being recently, on the telly, a national geographic type of program our youngest (he’s 21 now) loves to watch, anyway, there was this crab (I think, eeeek, my memory) that carried around all sorts on its back as camouflage
    clever huh? so maybe this SmallBeing has specific reasons for collecting….

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  4. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i have wanted to go back and respond to all the comments
    you have recently made…loved reading them all…but
    at this time of month, the internet juice on my phone
    goes low…just know that thank you and love you
    i’m sure there’s a reason. I wish i knew how to find out

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  5. Dana Avatar
    Dana

    This post is so full of things to think about…the presence of unknown beings, the collection of “stuff” by those unknown beings (why? how do they use it? what is going on?), the place and use of males in domestic husbandry, the beingness of those males in the wholeness of life, the love we feel for the animals and other creatures in our purview. How do we fit with them? How do we integrate our love and their beingness with the requirements of herd management? There is something so sad and so ancient about classifying animals as “useless”. Thank goodness they can’t pass those judgements on us.

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  6. joanne Avatar
    joanne

    Was there ever a plan for the bucks as they got older and were no longer allowed to breed?
    My daughter’s employer adopted/bought two young goats- female and male. The male is going to be “rubber banded” my daughter says- they are brother and sister so no mating is wanted.
    My daughter spends time with the chickens-for conversation –and now the goats. They make her laugh.

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  7. judy martin Avatar
    judy martin

    beautiful questions Dana xo

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  8. judy martin Avatar
    judy martin

    OMG Grace, I love your writing xoxoxoxo

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  9. Dakotah Avatar
    Dakotah

    There’s a little spider under all that stuff. The stuff is usually high fiber and they eat it to make their webs. Fascinating!
    I just told my husband about all your pregnant doe goats. He’s also amazed they accomplished that through a fence!! I know they will be a lot of work but how fun after all that loss of life to fires.

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  10. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    isn’t it just stunning?????….the hairdo and whiskers???

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  11. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    we all are just going, our very best selves, just going

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  12. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    your last sentence.
    Love, domestic husbandry, our purview.
    i think it’s rather new, classifying animals as useless. It falls into the PET zone. If we were to be accomplishing animal husbandry as the last hundreds of years, these bucks would have become food. Of very good Use. Food.
    Before that, they would have become FOOD to the predators they shared their Earth with. Only recently, is this dilemma.

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  13. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    and even now. I remember, when the New Mex Vet Dean came out for Gideon, Old Gideon who couldn’t stand anymore, and i sat, with him and Dean a bit and asked….What do people do? in this situation? and there was such a long silence until he finally said
    no one keeps bucks to this point.

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  14. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    well…not really, a plan. There is a Window for things.
    We went through and past that window. It wasn’t going to happen, but it did. I kept both Sunny Ray and Nogal in tact so Jenny could see what her breeding line had produced. If it had gone how it might have, they would have bred a couple of the Doe s and strengthened the herd.
    Then, they would have been sold, to strengthen other herds. There is a time frame for that. They are still very viral, but any one wanting herd sires would be looking to younger bucks.
    am glad to hear that your daughter’s little buck will be banded. It’s the kindest thing, really and the least prone to complications. You slip a band up over their testicles, a rubber band. It pinches for a couple hours but after that they pay no attention. Slowly the blood supply to the testicles dries up and they dry up and just fall off. Goats don’t do well with surgical proceedings. There’s more risk
    of infection if you cut them. This is done very young. The Goat becomes a wether and is really, the best and most wonderful Goat of all. Full of Joy. Full of personality and without the incessant DRIVe of hormones that both bucks and does contend with all their lives.
    I look forward to hearing how it goes for your daughter

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  15. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    judy

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  16. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    we didn’t imagine. Ordinarily, you put a buck and a doe in together. He does all his buckly stuff, snorting and nosing her, posturing and vocalizing. She either likes it or does not. It’s up to her. If she likes it, she will “stand” and and he will mount..his front legs on her back. It only takes a minute. Then, they immediately go about their own ways. There’s no afterglow.
    in our case, Sunny Ray and Nogal…TENZIN, would have had to put their front legs on the fence. The doe would have had to back up tight to the fence.
    ??????
    last eve as i was giving water, i asked Tenzen, DID YOU? and
    the reply was, i did.

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  17. Dakotah Avatar
    Dakotah

    *laughing so hard right now. Rascals!!

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  18. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    all of them.

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  19. Laura R Avatar
    Laura R

    I am fascinated by your creature in the photo. I have never seen anything like that. Goat lovers find ways to be together, which is so funny when told by you. You have an incredible link to nature. Thank you for sharing!

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