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not knowing

20200330_141241

 


20200330_141448

Alyssia and Emrie came to bring the batteries and ice.   To go through the Imperfect Food list.   I went out to meet them at the car.   Helped unload.   Emrie made a B line for the door and i looked to Alyssia…????  yes or no….and she looked off and nodded.  So it was like it always was/is.   We spent a lot of time with the baby Goats,  Emrie giving love and more love and holding and kissing.  We moved in one of the table benches for them to climb on,  jump on because this morning they were using Caroline for that.  It's a long,  high enough bench…i'll take a pic tomorrow…to satisfy their DESIRE.   for now.   We sat at the table IN here and went through the seeds.   Emrie played with her loved things while we did that.   

we don't know.   

They are taking all the Plaquenil.   The one single drug that she uses for the Lupus.   The one single drug she uses for anything.  it slows the progression.   She cannot get a refill.   

when she was leaving,  she said out the window….do you want some masks?   I stood there…. just looking and thinking….and i don't know.   Should I?     I said i don't know….what is she doing?,   Not the masks yet,  but she doesn't know either.  We don't know.    I said….i'm waiting for something to signal   TIME…..she nodded.   And so we go.

i stitched Her a dress…or,  an underdress.  a slip.   Slips.  no one wears slips anymore.   But an underdress that i can baste thing to.   impermanent things.   Just for looking,   for sensing.    Today,  one of the little prayers.   

 

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29 responses to “not knowing”

  1. Acey Avatar
    Acey

    wondered if Alyssia would be effected by the drug hijack. Was hoping somehow not. Worry about the unaddressed impact this is going to have on health professionals as well as all the patients who must now deal with decompensation and its vacillating outcome.

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  2. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    yes. affected. she had quit all other medications a while back. Feeling that the side effects were not worth any ify benefit. But she kept the Plaquenil, in case it’s
    true that it slows the progress. With Lupus, there is no
    way to know.
    and so it goes.

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  3. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    we keep thinking….
    there is a
    Plant Being

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  4. jaime Avatar
    jaime

    I used to take quinine for muscle spasms. It was taken off the market because some small number of people developed heart problems from it. My PT and I did the math and it was something like 8 bottles of Schwepts quinine tonic to equal 1 pill. So that didn’t work. Plaqanil is similar to quinine for Rheumatoid problems. “They” are aware that people are not able to get their rx’s filled so “they” are trying to come up with substitutes. My son in Baltimore has several friends with the same issues. I will keep my ears open for options. Preferably a plant being.

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  5. Acey Avatar
    Acey

    affected. sigh. brain going sideways from too much info crunching.

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  6. Acey Avatar
    Acey

    well. there is one but …

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  7. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    yes. sideways brain

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  8. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    there is a Belief
    that there is a PLANT

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  9. Dana Avatar
    Dana

    Ha ha…a slip. I haven’t thought of slips in years, but when I was young they were required, as long as they didn’t show. When I saw Her in her slip I thought it was a monk’s robe, like St. Francis. What could be better as substrate for prayers?

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  10. Michelle Slater Avatar
    Michelle Slater

    Whew…it’s all so daunting. I hope the right thing can be found for Alyssia and I too hope it’s plant based. So many of the standard medications are plant based to start. Happy you got to spend time with Emrie up close and personal dear Grace.

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  11. jude Avatar
    jude

    there’s the virus and then there’s all the other things. there are just more things.
    the doll is such a great self expression, today she is a place for looking.
    I love under layers.

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  12. Joanne Avatar
    Joanne

    Suddenly last week no inhalers for those of us with asthma. Because the pharmacy said others had some how taken them all. I had no ideas this was happening with other drugs as well. My own prescription was filled yesterday a week late. Will hope your granddaughter gets her meds. I know so well how terrifying it is to not have medicine.

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  13. Deb G Avatar
    Deb G

    I have a slip. 🙂 Somethings just fit better. So much right now, it is more than a virus.

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  14. Tina Avatar
    Tina

    Terrifying times … my heart is heavy for all those living alone. Heavy for the loss of jobs that gave contact with other. Heavy for all the unknown. Heavy for the greed that continues to deny medications for those in need.
    I’m not without tremendous gratitude for the young lady that delivered groceries to my front door. Gratitude for all the medical and first responders.
    It goes without saying that I’m filled with of spectrum of emotions. Your little lady in her slip today brought to mind the paper dolls I played with as a little girl. 😘

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  15. Mo Crow Avatar
    Mo Crow

    good to hear that you can have your family included in your safety bubble up there on The Hill

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  16. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i used to collect cotton slips
    wore them as dresses

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  17. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i can stitch …. baste to it, then change it.
    Was originally going to stitch right on her body
    but then knew i would want to change it a lot
    maybe i need more of them….the beings? but why?
    my thoughts are all over the place

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  18. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    there’s no immediate and obvious difference with
    the Plaquenil, so no terror
    am glad you got your inhaler. Breathe easy

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  19. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    yes it is. more than

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  20. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    i never played with dolls….never got
    Jenny any barbies

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  21. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    Taking known medications that help others for a possible cure for Covid- 19 just seems unbelievable to me but I understand the need to find something, anything that can help but this is not the way to go about it…just unconscionable to me.
    I’m sure that Alyssia has looked into Chinese medicine? I tried to find some current info but what I came up with is old,from 2014, about using herbs and acupuncture to help treat Lupus. One link is from Australia. These links are offered to Alyssia, with love, as a means of maybe using it as a springboard to finding an alternative solution.
    https://www.sustainhealth.com.au/blog/chinese-medicine-lupus-treatment/
    This next link is geared more toward Drs, etc. but it is from 2016 and from Pacific College of Health and Science in San Diego, an acupuncture school and massage therapy school with holistic nursing programs for health professionals. Maybe she could call them to get some information that might help.
    https://www.pacificcollege.edu/news/blog/2016/10/19/lupus-and-traditional-chinese-medicine-restoring-balance

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  22. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    there’s no way to know how it will play out. really, no way
    to know.
    it’s impossible to think about even

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  23. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    thank you Marti…i’ll pass them along to her.
    She researches constantly, and the Lupus is not
    new for her…its been ongoing.
    these are desperate times for the medical field…
    they will do what they feel they need to. Who
    could have known things would be like this. no one.
    so…

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  24. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    this was to Mo

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  25. Acey Avatar
    Acey

    sorry I just came back to read the emerging discussion but now I can’t not chime in that there is always a plant. Or multiple plants.
    possibly an off topic question but do you think anyone in this administration’s vibrational time zone realizes “plants” per se even exist as anything beyond annoying need to CONTROL or viewed simply as a landscaping grace note/’something everybody has’ for special events?

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  26. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    it’s not off topic…
    no…i would feel safe guessing that it’s not only
    the “administration”, but also that whole scene,
    both sides of the isle. and then all the millions
    of citizens who are finding themselves at a loss for
    what to do while stuck at home….never occuring to
    them to look at or sit with a green rooted Being…
    this to me is a whole so so sad thing…that it is
    just not at all a part of their consciousness….
    or their experience, maybe for their whole lifetime????
    This thought is Painfull.
    If you lived in a city…along with the toilet paper,
    get a tomatoe plant or a FLOWER in a pot, get a
    large pot and set it on your city step. Care for it
    every day. maybe a couple seeds to start.
    That the directives that say stay at home, would
    equally include…get a plant, any plant. There could
    be delivery to your door. your pot, your plant, your
    pot and seeds. Each family unit being RESPONSIBLE for
    at least one plant. AS IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.
    i just came in from feeding the Goats and mid way through
    i stand at Sunny Ray and Jack Flash’s fence, looking out over the hill rim that drops steep down to the canal creek, the GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeN…..new leaves erupting from twigs of trees, the grasses, the thingi’venotseenbefore by the chicken palace, rising out of the composted manure, the PUREness of this Hill, all 6 acres of it and how i live here, a lot of people would not live like this, would say it can’t be done, living like this, or shouldn’t be done…..
    SUN gleams and glistens bringing on the day and everywhere, under my body standing, the tendrils and filaments of the Mycelial Consciousness, pulsing.
    Pulsing
    and i had to do it again, even tho there’s a chill in
    morning breeze and dew…i HAD TO LIE DOWN FLAT ON MY STOMACH, arms outstretched
    and you would know…the “electrical” energetics…i don’t know but can FEEL.
    I thought last night…what if when go to the post office
    this week…one of those little virus entities finds me
    i could so easily be dead within maybe 2 weeks. How
    possible that is. And this morning, lying there, i remembered thinking that last night and just pressed my
    face into the scented earth and thought there is no
    other way to be, no other way to feel, no other
    anything i would want except to be able to understand
    more what might crack the craziness of homosapiens…
    the chosen blind ignorance, the delusion/illusion of
    who we think we are…maybe a virus.

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  27. Acey Avatar
    Acey

    remember the day I posted about having had a meeting with my friend “Bea”? We discussed, a lot, the rate of doubling. She predicted it would be no more than a week when it was realized one of the endless conferences in the Boston area had sustained an eruption that would move aggressively throughout the state and where-ever conference participants traveled and lived. She told me point blank the virus was out & about.
    I had a package for you in the car that I’d wrapped hastily and without giving a thought to pristine hand washing before doing it. I did not mail the package based on what she predicted. I would and will not send you anything until Bea or somebody else I personally trust tells me it’s a safe thing to do.
    everything Bea ballparked for our state and the country has come to pass. every. single. thing.

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  28. Liz A Avatar
    Liz A

    the seam at her waist and I am remembering not only half-slips, but pantyhose overlaid by two piece suits, silk shells, neck scarves tied just so … torturous garments … She has so much more ease … living on the land that is greening with the promise of spring … I love that you plan to change her over time … and that she might someday have companions

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  29. Saskia Avatar
    Saskia

    I do like this doll, especially her feet

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