as it always has been, certain kinds of READING
takes me away. I cannot stop. All i want to do is READ. I no longer live "my life", but am living an entirely different life. It's why i gave up fiction. a long time ago. Except for Louise Erdrich.
i have been living in Mississippi, Florida and Louisiana. then, traveling by rail and in one instance Buick Roadmaster to L.A., New York City, Milwaukee, Chicago. I have been living 3 lives, two of men, one woman's. I have seen through their eyes, their lives as they unfolded so far. am on page 327. There is over 200 pages more until i will return.
I have been thinking thoughts that never occurred to me to think before. Thoughts that, really, could never have formed with the little INFORMATION i had/have. i am seeing how SMALL my understanding of the HISTORY of my lifetime is, and most important, how the HISTORY of those years are being played out, LIVED by all of us NOW. we are Ripening, we, the citizens of this Amerika place. We are gaining an inkling of WhatItIs….has been…and is Coming. I admire, respect, LOVE, enormously the author. it was 15 years in the researching and writing. an epic, as is said, that opens OUT into this 2020 dream into nightmare we might choose.
i look up, now and again to this Cloth on the wall this small room space away and am in even more wonder at this life i am living that i will return to in the next couple days.
as penance for all this Reading, i built two trellis' this eve for the Malabar, two different kinds. One for the Wall Garden, one for B Garden. I scrubbed water tubs and filled fresh. I sat on the ground in the middle of things and let Them chew at my hair and lick the saltsweat off my skin. Filled 6 buckets with manure/earth and set on the edge of the drive down from here, to load into the truck next time i go to Alyssia's. and in typing this, i see that my evening was very Productive…way more than my evenings usually are. Smile. maybe the guilt is a good thing?
windthread 
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