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opened the door to the long corridor and he made his way out into the Sun.  He drags his leg   Changed the bandages and the splint/soft cast.   Better.  Drags it still,  but with a little more flexibility at the hoof.   is enjoying tortilla chips.   Needs penicillin injections 2xday,  oral ground pills … crackers with peanut butter and molasses work for this.   Getting standing and then lying down again still great effort but he was better at it today.  He is our total preoccupation.  An old buck Goat.   I asked the Vet in Socorro something about how people do things with old buck Goats  during Gideon's decline,   and his response was….they don't.  You put livestock down.   Livestock.    There is something real and true about that.   But we don't go there yet.   Until a Being can no longer stand,  we keep trying.    Emrie loves him.   He is in response to her love.  She keeps referring to him as She.  ???  We say…He.   She keeps referring to him as She.   Ok.   

tomorrow and Tuesday are my days with the penicillin injections.    I have watched a zillion utubes.   I used to give PEOPLE injections in my 20's.  Was trained to do that.  Went to school.    Something happened in this meantime and i dread it.   but it's fair…my turn.  For SunnyRay.   

   

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11 responses to “going”

  1. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    Sunny Ray will heal and get stronger because of the love that surrounds him…livestock, yes but also family.
    One of the hardest things I ever learned to do was give injections to my mother when she came home to die from cancer. (In those days, there was no hospice so my cousin and I, along with weekly visits from my Mom’s local Dr., did our best to provide her care.) My cousin was an RN so she had me practice giving injections on a grapefruit;easy to do but having to give them to my Mother, a whole other story. When it came my time to give the injections, I so worried that I would mess up, hurt my Mom but I did not and in the end, you do what you do to ease their pain, as well as your own.

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  2. Liz A Avatar
    Liz A

    he/she/they … I’m slowly absorbing the non-binary pronouns, liking them very much and hoping they will continue
    Emrie is surely good medicine for you and Sunny Ray both

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  3. Irene Avatar
    Irene

    So glad to see Sunny Ray up and about, and Emrie being her beautiful self.

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  4. Joanne in Maine Avatar
    Joanne in Maine

    Letting a beloved animal or human go- is very very hard on the one who decides.
    In my family, I have to be the one who decides.
    and I have. many times. it is never any easier.

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  5. jude Avatar
    jude

    I have never settles my mind about “putting down”.
    he is such an old man.
    mom used to give dad insulin shots. she was a nurse’s aid during ww2.
    I could “never”, I say, but then again it was never needed and that changes everything.

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  6. Peggy McG Avatar
    Peggy McG

    So hard to become the nurse, but it is what we all do at some time or another. Love will guide you!

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  7. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    It’s good to see him eating. Is Emrie making his meal there? 🙂

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  8. CatherinE Avatar
    CatherinE

    The photo is full of love and caring. And the warmth of spring sunshine. Good medicine for all.

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  9. Faith Avatar
    Faith

    I don’t see (have never seen) any of your animals as livestock. Livestock is a product/tool. You have too much love for them. They are pets and pets are family whether they earn their keep, or are allowed into the house or not.
    You will do fine with the injections. Love guides you.

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  10. jaime Avatar
    jaime

    When I started nursing my first injections were to children. How could I poke holes in these perfect little beings? Make holes in them on purpose? And make them cry. I decided at that point if I wanted to help and become a nurse I would need to learn. And I would need to be the absolute best I could be. Somebody would have to give them their shots. So I did my best. I took my time. I always remembered they were people and gave them as much control as I could. And mostly I let them know they were brave. So brave. Because I knew they didn’t want it but did it anyway. Be the best you would want for Sunny Ray’s injections and he will be ok.

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  11. Saskia Avatar
    Saskia

    reading backwards i know he’s improving, so you don’t have to put him down…..we all know we die ‘some day’ like a far-away-land…..having to decide for him is not an easy thing, until it is
    at least that’s how it was for us with Tungsten, not that it didn’t hurt, but you know what i mean
    same with our mother, not active euthanasia but the decision to start the palliative treatment, knowing there was only one outcome
    the turmoil and then
    the relief in having made a choice

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