windthread

Jude is talking about cards.     These are some i just drew to see what it might be like.   How it felt.  There's a few more but i don't know where they are.   I'd also thought of putting prints of some of the Cloths on cards.   the words here would Not be there,  they were words to my self

so here i am.  again.  thinking about it.   I'll need to think about Why.    ?     two things right away,   i miss making Cloths for the shop.   for two very different reasons.   the first is how it is to know that someone Out There likes what i do enough to want it in their own home.  Which gives energy for   continuing the making.    Saskia's most recent post talks of this…. and the second is that i can Use the income from them.  If i sold one or two a month, (Cloths)   it added  up to getting something i might really want but couldn't otherwise afford.   A for instance right now is an outdoor campStoveOven.   I really want it.   I can't slow heat plant materials in this small space of a "house".   i can't make cookies in this oven for many months of the year.   I can't bake a potato.   roast root vegetables.  

but there's something beyond these,  tho,  tied to the first and difficult for me to put into words.   about when you know people like what you do,   it is energizing to the urge to create.   feeds it.   gives it life.   Back when i took my Makings to galleries and shows,  i could See this.   Anymore,  i don't do that and it is an odd kind of void.   

so what's the deal with cards….?    I love the drawings.   I love to draw.   and i will  continue to draw,  probably for as long as i am alive.   But….without  Some One on the other end,  some Thing is missing.  ???????    Cards are a

remedy.   and they are useful.    I have always loved cards.  Cards to keep.  Cards to send.  Cards to continue a story with others.   I love envelopes and stamps.  the Post Office,  my mail box or Post office box.   Mail is magic to me.   the Post Office…is like a church.  

so…i will continue with this card thing.  even if only for self,  for the satisfaction and deep pleasure of picking one out and sending.   for Reason,  or,  for no particular reason at all.   and still,  have another.   

maybe.   

i bought that printer some months ago on impulse.   i was thinking that i wanted to make cards to be

common.  I am not an artist.  i draw.     Not one of a kind,  but Every day,  Any day.    To "offer"  them,  so they could have that kind of life.  Nothing Special,  but loved.  Enough to pay for themselves and give me a little extra so i could save up for that campstoveoven.     it's been at Alyssia's since.  I haven't even really looked at it.  

this year of 77.   Everything is changing.  What i do,  Why i do it.  Getting Real.    Taking on a life of its own.   the word    Finite.