this is not what i'd thought …but i just finished a conversation with Alyssia that i value beyond value and can't put here because it is too raw and convoluted and complex….but rising out of the LAW of white men…..to speak of women's bodies….but so much more and it surprisingly circled to my father saying to me….Who do you think you are? and me, putting a cloth in a shop
Who do you think you are?
and i remember standing there…..and saying….finally….
me.
So…this is Big. Way Bigger than i can go tonight or maybe ever here. But it applies.
Feeling paralyzed by placing monetary value on what i do, what comes out of me. the Shame of feeling that it has value and can help me "make a living"……
there. that said.
I asked Deb Lacativa to help me with this paralysis ….. about this particular cloth….because i am returning to a Shop Page
and her answer was
she felt it was unfinished. I asked her because i TRUST her and that trust was well grounded because her response is the KEY for me. The Key.
it is. unfinished. in Its way.
and in thinking it through, has given me a sense of mySelf and my Intent with Making that i hadn't had, or hadn't understood….
All the Cloths i make are pictures of Moments in Time … this one so clearly…a threshold, a doorway….into a place so vast it cannot even be imagined, we only Trust that it IS THERE because we sense it with a relentless sureness….sensing…of sureness
they are pictures …in a surrounding which includes me and any viewer, my mind/experience, their mind/experience , the phenomenal Day…events, happenings in our worlds and all of this is
unfinished.
I don't bind the edges. i Can't. To bind would be to say it's over…(finished) These all are what i describe to self as "work Cloths"…they are prompts to somewhere else…around us, or, in us'
moments. stills.
that remain open in all four directions, above below behind ahead. as moments are. Moving, Changing. Alive.

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