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an odd day.   like it had no name.  almost didn't exist.  like it floated,  hovered,  but didn't attach….????

first thing,  waking,   i looked over at all those Spirals in front of me and they were hovering…for a few moments i was at a loss as to how this could possibly by…they were attached to nothing…not sewn onto anything….just there    as if by Magic

and then i thought o….they are sewn to eachother.   O.   but in a second,  that too seemed surreal.  Sewn to Each Other?  and

hovering?

the night before last i had the most BEST dream ihave Ever Had in my whole life.   it was so extraordinary.  and then last night it was the paradox.  Maybe that?    There's only some days left of this 77th year.    Things are all  all trying to take form so i can go.

When Alyssia came to bring ice and batteries,  all three kids came.   Not usual.   Jax doesn't often want to come.  He has issues with having to wear a mask.   Brinley sometimes comes.   But usually it's for Alyssia and Emrie Time.   I wore the mask in the pic and said i thought of it as having a leaf on my face.    I don't like wearing them either.  When it's just Emrie  and A,  i don't…tho they do.   As Emrie said today to Jax….i don't notice anymore.   and she doesn't.   for her and Alyssia,  it's kinda like wearing a hat.   or sunglasses.   or something.   no biggie.  I had cut apple slices for them to feed the Goats

there is talk of Thanksgiving on Saturday,  Jenny's day off,  IF she is off.   At her work  at the hospital they are totally short staffed and the staff they have is falling to Covid.   Still….i gave my grocery list to Alyssia.   She does the big shop for me with my old lady California "food stamp" money that is automatic when your social security $ is below a certain level.      I am the Pie person.  3 of them.  Pumpkin Cherry and Apple.     and the Green Bean Casserole.  Turkey is Alyssia.  I will be gravy.  

memories continue to kinda flood in.  triggered.    When i lived in Oregon,   Horton,   Oregon     on a mountain there….my refrigeration was a tiny stream flowing in a rock crevice.  ice cold at all times.   I lived there in the Airstream i bought there. Horton was a little general store and post office.    That's it.   When i drove down to that store and post office i drove into a fog,  a mist  where everything disappeared for long moments but reappeared.   like Magic.  i am noticing how that word…Magic…is coming up lately,  hasn't for a long time.  but Magic again.  hmmmm.

 

 

 

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13 responses to “almost as if it didn’t exist”

  1. jude Avatar

    I am noticing I might apply Magic, Appearing and Disappearing, to almost everything, if I stand back and consider time. Magic is a nice word for it. The story of how it happens, or even might happen.

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  2. Cj Avatar

    Gravy my favorite part to make! Our Rv freig is so tiny. At holidays I need a cold brook to keep the extras. Did you ever read The Box Car Children by Gertrude Wagner. Published 1924. The orphaned children kept their food in a brook. It was my favorite book. I’d run in the library to the Ws in the fiction area looking for Wagner with such excitement. The magic of a green leaf. Stay safe.😌

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  3. Deb G Avatar

    Magic…I think it is always there, we just have to notice. Magic as a form of time? Just thinking. I keep waiting for the phone to ring or a text saying, “Sorry…you have to come to work or we will have to send children home.” Not feeling like the day is truly mine until about 9 AM.

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  4. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    Yes I agree with Deb in that magic is all around, not the big sparkly kind but the everyday ordinary that somehow, given a certain time and space and mood and need, elevates into magic…AS IN:
    For breakfast, a pomegranate, those red tiny orb-like seeds, spilling onto my plain Greek yogurt,looking like edible jewels…
    Walling into the bedroom and noticing how the sun lights up my reed basket of dyed cloths and the cloths look like maps to the known and unknown, especially my latest dyed cloth made with sumac and red onion skins, splotches of green that take me into a deep forest…simply, MAGIC.

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  5. Peggy McG Avatar
    Peggy McG

    Stories… of your daily life, memories, connections to others which trigger more peoples memories.. it is the Magic that happens here!
    Yesterday was an entire day in Lake Havasu City.. left our camp at 8am.. errands.. pills at Cvs and latest covid booster, package at UPS, new wiper blades at Auto Zone, groceries at Walmart.. Lowes for a project.. the dealership for oil change and finally on the way home we stopped at the library in Parker.. downloaded from Netflix movies and series to watch at night. This one.. a series.. titled Keep Breathing.. about a young woman, finds herself pregnant.. and on a tiny plane heading to remote place.. plane crashes into a lake,, and she is only survivor.. now..how to survive in the wilderness…. Her mind keeps running on about her life from childhood and events that led to where she is now. It is making me think of my own life and what is shared with family and what will die with me. And what is magic to me is we never know anything of strangers lives, those cars racing down the streets with you, but deep down they have stories, all directing their next moves.
    Oh and all the groceries we bought couldnt fit into our two tiny fridges and so the least needed to be refrigerated, fresh veggies and eggs, they get tucked into the back under the bed which is not insulated and stays cold since overnight temps have been in the 30-40 range. High today will only be 65. But sunny!!

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  6. grace Forrest Avatar

    it is. a “nice word for it”. a word i stopped using
    for a long while
    that wants its place now, again.

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  7. grace Forrest Avatar

    i do not have that book in my past. the title is
    in memory, tho…i will find it. Maybe it’s a book for
    Emrie.
    yes. the green leaf magic. needed for staying safe.

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  8. grace Forrest Avatar

    sometimes i feel like days are not truly mine still
    and it’s been years

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  9. grace Forrest Avatar

    yes. the THING ofit always. but i turned my back on
    the word.

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  10. grace Forrest Avatar

    this is Beauty FULL, Peggy
    “and on the way home” just love that you say this
    “what is shared with family and what will die with me”…
    i read that line to Alyssia last night sometime LATE…i was on the phone with her while she searched and typed in the grocery order for drive through grocery pick up that we continue to do after Covid, she orders my stuff that i message her a list of too
    it was like 2 AM….and inbetween food items i told her stories. memories. my life, my life with her mother, memories of my mother, memories of what i know and mostly do not know of my grandmother who i never met Where she came from in Czechoslovakia…how i can’t spell it but can SAY it
    Why i left her when she was one year old and then i drifted into maybe that’s the gift of Emrie…i don’t have to leave Emrie
    i hope not to die with important things unsaid
    i love your words here. I love YOU. Thank you

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  11. Nancy Avatar

    Oh man. To start, I have avoided the word ‘magic’ for years, as it always brought up the ‘sleight of hand’ part of the definition (which I just read again, just to see if it hit me the same way…it did) – so the sleight of hand part, the trick part…that’s the part that always put me off. Because if someone is doing the tricking, then someone else is being tricked, and therefore a fool. This is how my mind worked (which looks silly in print now). But, since I am no magician, that makes me the fool and I had strived not to make a fool of myself most of my youth. Amazing what comes from being teased relentlessly. Anyway, after hanging out in this good and kind spirit community all of these years, I can now use magic in the way that Marti does here…or how Deb or Peggy do…in ways that have deeper meaning to me, but do not include tricks or potions to get what you want. I can’t get behind that (if I could I’d have cast great spells far and wide for certain holes in my life! haha).
    Boy, this set me rambling!
    Lastly, Peggy’s “what is shared with family and what will die with me”…yes, I’ve thought so much about this recently…the memories, thoughts, fears, loves that will forever remain only mine to know.
    Grace, you relationship with Alyssia is such an amazing gift…an expanding gift…Emrie, Jenny and her man…such blessings considered on this day of Thanks Giving. xo

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  12. grace Forrest Avatar

    i need to come back to your words here tomorrow…
    this day has worn its Self out and
    there is so much here
    Love and Love and Love to you

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  13. sarita Avatar
    sarita

    I know Horton!!

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