of yesterday and into the night and on into today. we were doing the evening Feed and it was late and growing darker and she just stopped and stared out into the trees. said, close to this: Old Nana. I wish you wouldn't die so soon. I wish you would wait until i'm as old as my mom… and she paused and i spoke….how it is thought by some that people's spirits, after they are dead, can visit. that there are all kinds of ways that that might happen, that sometimes people's spirits might be in say, a caterpillar, or a flower, plant, stone…anything. that you might look at that anything and see, somehow, the face of a dead person in them. And if you see it, this is how the spirit of that person can be with you. she listened but then said…yes, but i want you to be here.
i wish i hadn't responded so quickly. i wish i had just let her talk, finish her thoughts. not interuppted with what eased my own heart in the moment. i need to be ready for that. Next time. and there will be next time, it's on her mind.
it's beginning. this is only one thing. She has begun to need to know things, to ask about them and wonder. There are many things i'd like to share with her, that i have learned in the 77. that are Beauty Full and Important to me, that i'd like to seed her with so she can carry them on into her own life, find out for her Self.
but the important thing is today, is that i am Thought Full. That i go slow. That i make every effort to speak real truth as i know it, not just rush to answer. She's past that. We work now.
i opened the sketch book and it fell to this page with these cloths in. and i am thinking. Maybe these cloths…they will be like visuals of how it can be. ???? we can hold them when we talk. i can maybe make new ones that illustrate thoughts we have. Keep them for her. Tactile/visual memories of us, Wondering together.
windthread 
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