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i lost any.    empty.   done.   Evening feed time and tho the trusty weather app said Pause,   it was

raining.

i stood there and thought     I'm DONE with this.   Just Done.    So i just went anyway,  through the rain and emptied the feed tubs of the accumulation of water from the day,   filled the pellet pitchers and did the thing.   Rain let up.   Dropped down the dry hay.   Did the thing for Sunny Ray and then on down for Jack Flash.   But it felt so DONE.   with    it all.    i came back up and hung the wet rain jacket up on the shower curtain thing,  took off my boots.   Tuned in to Snoop Dogg's Affirmation for Kids   smiled,   have had a crush on him for a long time,   but i am still done.    As i write this,  it pours again.    What does that mean,

i'm done?

nothing.   other than i quit for today.  Sleep.  Dream.   wake and slog on.

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16 responses to “equanimity”

  1. jude Avatar

    and the rain said, I’m done, and slogged on. Until it didn’t.

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  2. Deb G Avatar

    Weather…so beyond our control. Hope you slept well.

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  3. Peggy McG Avatar
    Peggy McG

    Understand Done. This is the coldest unsunny and rainy winter in Q too. Covers over my head, rain noise on roof, going to make chicken cabbage soup today. Need sun to solar charge my battery to run the fridge. Basket making class today but not going. Dont want to get stuck in a wet wash on my way out to the main road. I cant even imagine your situation 100 times worse and critters to tend to. Snuggle in! Love and warmth sent.

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  4. Liz A Avatar

    I’d take snow over cold rain … and I’m over snow … so yeah, I’d have been “done” long before now were I to be in your place
    instead, I am sitting with my long-loved coffee mug, the one with the diamond impressed on it that so perfectly matches the #3 cloth … the cloth that is also on Underlying Order … a thread that connects us over time and space
    I wish you sun and light and warmth

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  5. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    What I would give to offer you a bowl of red chili right now, to warm you through and through. Was sorting through photos and came across July 13 2014: We had been emailing and talking about Chiles since I was growing them and you gave me a recipe for authentic New Mexican red chili. Used lard to cook the pork, cut into cubes lots of garlic, a bit of onion and then the stirring of the deep red Hatch powdered chili into flour to make a roux and then adding water and turning it into fiery goodness. The real deal, authentic New Mexican chili…we have eaten it with corn tortillas and sour dough bread. Nothing better on cold, rainy snowy days and even in summer as it causes a good sweat!… Close your eyes, sense this, see it, taste it…virtual chili to warm you….

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  6. Nancy Avatar

    Oh Grace. So sorry to read this Way Too Much Rain and Done post. I understand that ‘done’ feeling.
    We are so Done with our toilet backing up and needing to be snaked. Even our new one (put in on Frida, the day they serviced the main lines) got stopped up today. I think of you in your world and know my complaints are small in comparison. However, I’d really like to take this stressor off my plate, especially right now. sigh.
    May you have some dry days.
    On a smiling note…I had no idea about Snoop Dogg’s Affirmation for Kids … so that was fun!

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  7. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    You are strong, Grace. The sun will be out soon! You might have to ask for help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. You may develop a stronger team.
    Xoxo

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  8. Faith Avatar

    I’ve been telling myself “this, too, shall pass,” but then I realized I was wishing away too much. Now I try to find something despite the rain, that makes my day better. Sometimes it’s pretty mundane, like getting some laundry done. Sometimes it’s managing to get some stitching done. One day last week it was noticing that the primrose on my back patio is blooming. Sounds like Snoop Dogg was your bright spot yesterday.

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  9. grace Forrest Avatar

    the beauty FULL day it
    doesn’t

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  10. grace Forrest Avatar

    my greatest gift…Sleep. I always Sleep well. i know i am lucky

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  11. grace Forrest Avatar

    yes,i’ve seen this on the YouTubes…unusual weather in
    Quartzite…and yes, bummer for things like Solar frig
    a lot to learn for the future, right?????

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  12. grace Forrest Avatar

    i LOVE the thread that connects us, SO SO much

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  13. grace Forrest Avatar

    have been reminiscing about neighbor Kenny’s chili powder that does as you write above…needs to be N Mex red
    chili powder….
    it is truly Medicine. homeopathic

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  14. grace Forrest Avatar

    comparisons…there are always comparisons and they are
    what they are but they can’t ease the craziness of a
    stopped up toilet or supersaturated earth…
    we all have our challenges that bring us to our brink

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  15. grace Forrest Avatar

    i would if i really needed it. and they WOULD if they knew
    that. But i really am ok. Just so so tired of it.

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  16. grace Forrest Avatar

    despite
    i like this. i like this a lot.

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