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March 1 there was an email telling of  Orphan Wisdom being in California…Malibu,  with  Die Wise and Reckoning,  on March 12.  yesterday.     Stephen Jenkinson who i have followed at a distance for many years since reading Die Wise.    He said:

"Dying is the fulfillment,  not the end,  of life.   From a young age we see around us that grief is mostly an affliction,  a misery that intrudes into the life we deserve,  a rupture of the natural order of things, a trauma that we need coping and management and five stages and twelve steps to get over.

What if grief is a skill,  in the same way that love is a skill,  something that must be learned and cultivated and taught?   What if  grief is the natural order of things,  a way of loving life anyway?  Dying can be and must be the fullest expression and incarnation of what you've learned by living.

How you die is the proving ground for the cradle and the grave,  for every conviction you may have about justice and mercy,  about the meaning of life,  about what love should look like and what it should do."

what love should look like  and what it should do.        use the word    can.   What love can look like and what it can do.

I called Alyssia at 7 something Sunday morning.     i said…maybe don't bring Emrie.    That urge to ….shield.    When they got here,  just moments later,   Emrie said      Mom asked me.  do i want to come?  or stay home.   I wanted to come.    There was a light rain but she stayed at the fence while Alyssia pulled Sunny Ray to standing by his horn scurs and into his "house",  the calf hutch,   settled him there.    before they left,  we stood.   We said some things about how Lucky we were to have loved him,  to have been loved back by him.  She saw a tiny rainbow  from raindrops  in the paint of the car.   For Sunny Ray.   

He quietly breathed his way Out and Into the Next.   it was a gentle death.    

What all this is turnig out to be,  all this dying,   is

about love.   

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35 responses to “Sunny Ray.”

  1. Maria Avatar
    Maria

    I embrace the words and you and Al … and the flowers that they give fruit for you

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  2. Maria Avatar
    Maria

    Ï’m stil listen to the song of the blac bird on this early morning

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  3. Dana Avatar

    Farewell Sunny Ray. Another valued life returns to the ground. Your quote about how grief is an expression of love hits home. You raised and cared for Sunny Ray and all the herd with love all these years. He deserves your grief, and mine too, as the internet shadow that has followed you through. You have stood by your herd in the most loving way. I’m sorry for your loss.

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  4. Mo Crow Avatar

    such a beautiful honouring (((Sunny Ray))) Fly Free

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  5. jude Avatar

    and life.
    love

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  6. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    Sunny Ray, of Gideon, and in my heart, I think of them, together. Love to you and la familia at this time of another loss.
    Death is the pause and grief is how we know we have loved but there is also this: life is made up of loving and caring and creating a family, of humans, of animals, of friends. This goat herd has been your story for so man years, so attentively and lovingly cared for by you, shepherding and care taking them from New Mexico to the Hill in CA. This Crazy Wisdom herd and for me, the key word here is Wisdom, has taught you, and you in turn, have taught Emrie about life, love, and kindness.
    Loss is hard and when it comes in waves, unbelievably so…we may ask ourselves why so many at one time.I don’t have the answer but I do know that we have an infinite capacity to love and that holds us, and helps us to acknowledge and honor those who have left…

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  7. Peggy McG Avatar
    Peggy McG

    May he be dancing among the stars. Emrie, bless her heart, is receiving her education in the skills of grief. She sure gives me inspiration.

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  8. Cindy Avatar
    Cindy

    this is love

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  9. Deb G Avatar

    Part of love is saying good-bye. It’s always there. Big hug…

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  10. CatherinE Avatar

    Farewell to Sunny Ray. May you be enveloped in love.

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  11. Tina Avatar
    Tina

    When you love with your whole heart … it’s hard when it is their time. Gentle hugs 😘

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  12. Jan Rowan Avatar
    Jan Rowan

    A gentle death for Sunny Ray…..loved by you and the family….such great love and compassion…

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  13. Beth from Still Life Pond Avatar
    Beth from Still Life Pond

    (((grace))) …all this dying. Love.

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  14. Nancy Avatar

    Grace~ I’m here in love, but lacking words. xo

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  15. Irene Avatar
    Irene

    :BIG HUG:
    I loved Sunny Ray…such a handsome guy.

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  16. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    Sunny Ray. He was strong, healing as he did. Fright, fear, pain, trust, wound healing, social adjustments.
    I feel for you, Grace. I’m so sorry that all this has fallen on you. It’s a lot to bear. ‘
    I don’t know how to learn from grief, because every time a death of a loved one happens, it feels different/new and just as raw.
    I am here to listen.
    XOXO

    Like

  17. joanne in Maine Avatar
    joanne in Maine

    I will always remember Sunny Ray. And Tay. I learned to care about them–right here in your words and images. Take care….

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  18. grace Forrest Avatar

    it’s All in the songs of the birds

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  19. grace Forrest Avatar

    how we all have become Ours. and OurSelveS. Us.
    standing by EachOther and going On

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  20. grace Forrest Avatar

    it’s all the SAME

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  21. grace Forrest Avatar

    love holds us, yes. those who needed to Go and those who remain. woven together.

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  22. grace Forrest Avatar

    and me. I learn SO MUCH by seeing how it can happen…within her young life…how it can be
    pure and real and good

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  23. grace Forrest Avatar

    i nod. it is. This is love.

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  24. grace Forrest Avatar

    good
    bye
    Beauty Full Heart Sunny Ray…your joy remains with us

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  25. grace Forrest Avatar

    i feel that….the soft folding of love

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  26. grace Forrest Avatar

    as Emrie and i say….we wish. we wish it could just always be. but

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  27. grace Forrest Avatar

    he was so easy with it. Like he was easy with all that came his way.

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  28. grace Forrest Avatar

    it’s a lot. of dying. i think about how this herd is becoming old. Lucky Star is probably 13 or 14

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  29. grace Forrest Avatar

    words are not needed, and i Know your Love

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  30. grace Forrest Avatar

    yes. i will bring the tile to the table

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  31. grace Forrest Avatar

    i think it is supposed to be different/new and just as raw
    i think each brings a different Love

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  32. grace Forrest Avatar

    that They are here, that WE are here

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  33. susan Avatar
    susan

    Dear Grace, such a gentle end to a good life, my hugs to all of you
    Susan

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  34. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    Sunny Ray, I will never forget lessons of your strength.

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