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i woke this morning and again….that sense of Lost,   of   flat~ness,   of  not knowing  how i can go.    i made the tea,  did the Usuals and it clung….the word was angst.    I googled it and it was wrong,   not what it means to me,   but what it meant to me was what i felt ,  so i stayed with it….Angst.     i worked through thngs and thought how Wendy had given the Thing of the 

Fertile Void

and how i  should 

Trust

Wait

and i went back to yesterday,   the Mantis.    Her still~ness,    sure~ness   and said

help!  in my mind,  and then aloud…..Help!

i read Jude's post and went back into that back room where all those bags of cloth reside,  where Minnow now sleeps among them,   and ran my hands through one but again,  knew that it's not time for cloth.   it just isn't.   There is no purpose there whatever that means….there is no purpose there    and drank another cup of tea and fed Goats and Minnow and Talkie and more cat food in Puppy's bowl on the table and listened to  the new bird that sounds like a rusted gate hinge and remembered how much i used to love magazines.   the FEEL of them,   their visual gratification,   even the smell of them,  print on paper,  their Weight….Magazines and i googled Art Magazines  and there was a horizontal line of images but as it happens in the morning the images popped down a line into

Drawing Thought     Andrea Kantrowitz    image of the book cover   and on it went,  reading,   YouTubes

"Drawing is a way of constructing ideas and observations as much as it is a means of expressing them.  When we are not ready or able to put our thoughts into words,  we can sometimes put them  down in arrangements of lines and marks.  Artists, designers,  architects and others draw to generate explore and test perceptions and mental models.  In Drawing Thought,  artist-educator Andrea Kantrowitz invites readers to use drawing to extend and reflect on their own thought processes. She interweaves illuminating hand-drawn images with text,  integrating recent findings in cognitive psychology and neuroscience with accounts of her own artistic and teaching practices."

……when we are not ready or able to put our thoughts into words……

maybe.   maybe this is a path…..from the Fertile Void……on…..into finding a way to give word to that sense of       Being Of.

there was     a feeling of     Realease.   was/IS.    

 

 

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18 responses to “release”

  1. LaceLady Avatar
    LaceLady

    Bird that sounds like a rusty gate ~ might that be a grackle, or maybe a jay?
    And here you are, talking about Andrea Kantrowitz ~ I feel such an intense delight and wonders at the mysteries you address, and occur here. Much like the AWE and beauty of watching the ripples when you skip rocks or throw a small stone into a still pond. I was chatting (truth – I was whimpering a bit) with a daughter in Kentucky yesterday, and she dropped this same “pebble” into the pond. She mentioned in particular, a few illustrations from Kantrowitz website: Drawing makes our thoughts visible from The INSIDE OUT. Draw to investigate and record the Visible and Invisible. How to show Feelings (spy a zingy new word – qualia, so Internet encyclopedia of Philosophy to the rescue) . link to Kantrowitz website https://tinyurl.com/2s4ea3ct
    Two beautiful pencils (love a good pencil), shadings, tag, and lo and behold, your photo starts a beginning of mystery made visible. “Begin and the mind grows heated” – an Auden phrase I believe.
    The heated friction/vibrations, sounds, and feel, of the tones of cello with player, made visible with pencil to paper.

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  2. Jude Avatar
    Jude

    For me, drawing is like writing without words.

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  3. CatherinE Avatar

    I reread your post and noticed the last line where you spelled Release as “Real ease” – exactly right!

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  4. Maria Avatar
    Maria

    Real ease … yes if we let it … for wath it is ..pased by in time

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  5. dee Avatar

    Sometimes I think the ultimate creation is or should be silence.

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  6. grace Forrest Avatar

    it’s how it all began, right?

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  7. Mo Crow Avatar

    (((Grace))) your post inspired me to draw the blue Ulysses butterfly that circled my friend Penny up in Far North Queensland as we spoke on the telephone of Hope for our country walking together for the Voice from the Heart. I haven’t drawn a butterfly this century, thank you so much!

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  8. maria Avatar
    maria

    yes grace … right
    here the sun is down , for us it is hot here the first sept; with 5 day’s of 32 c.it will still go on till monday …
    enjoy the silent of the evening , big hug love to you

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  9. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    This morning, I was sweeping the patio, lots of leaves every day, the patio is like a wind tunnel for leaves. I did not wait for the autumn equinox but brought out my dried home grown New Mexican red chiles and Native American red and blue corn to display on the patio table. Later I will get some gourds and miniature pumpkins. I noticed that the cloth I had placed them on, was tired looking, faded, straggly, with a few rips and tears from the buffeting winds that we get almost every day. Several years ago, I had made this cloth from dyed pieces of cloth from TN and New Mexico and titled it, Earth Patches. Looking at it, I realized that the patches were no longer “mending” my spirit so I decided to remove it, take it apart to see if there were any useful bits of cloth and discard what would not work to use in another cloth.
    Now I’m not sure about what I am trying to say here only that here is the place where I need to try to give you a sense of this morning’s experience: I set about taking apart the cloth, stitch by stitch, patch by patch and I counted them, 53 in all, all shapes and sizes. What kept rolling in my head was the phrase that I had read here in several blog post, “fertile void.” So I stopped and sat with thought and what came was this:
    Since about mid year,life has been unexpectedly busy and my love of foraging and naturally dyeing cloth has been almost at a standstill. I have stitched a few small cloths but dyeing cloth, the creative aspect of my cloth work that I find the most fulfilling, has not occurred and this in turn, has led to a feeling of unease, that I have kept shoving to the background of daily life Undoing the many stitches and tossing the cloth patches on my bed, I counted them, well just because it is something that I do and found that there were 53 cloth pieces. Pulling them off the cloth was a mindless exercise until I turned over a few of the pieces…
    They were beautiful, full of color, not faded whatsoever. I dug out the pieces that I had tossed in the trash can and looked at them with renewed eyes.Once upon a time, I had foraged for the colors that are on these pieces and using them again, in a new way, in a new story, one that I will wait to come, almost made me weep and certainly filled me with the deepest joy. In a sense, the void I was in, sort of filled itself, fertile in the unexpected discovery and usefulness of the other side of those patches.
    I’m not explaining this at all well but I think what I am feeling is that, for me, who lives or should say lived a pretty structured life, save for those spontaneous moments when I abandon myself to dancing, accepting that there will be those times in life, when the well is dry and it is ok to accept this, to not expect to have to rush to fill it, to let whatever will flow, come when it is ready and that to me, is a huge lesson in release…

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  10. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    I climbed a mountain in my dream! I climbed partway back down, met new people who suggested different paths to the top. More fun, and not quite as difficult. Lots of exertion, but more like skating with wide, powerful strokes. I didn’t really want to open my eyes. But, I simmered in my dreamery, so that I could remember it. And I did.

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  11. grace Forrest Avatar

    love so very much the synchronicity of Kantrowitz in the
    same days even…highlighting in soft neon!!!
    and
    to draw
    Music. what might that be like???????????

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  12. grace Forrest Avatar

    it is, and so much more, and more than i know,
    yet

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  13. grace Forrest Avatar

    that was a mistake…i didn’t notice till morning, but
    it made me smile and i left it

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  14. grace Forrest Avatar

    yes. if we let it. how it is for so much, really….

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  15. grace Forrest Avatar

    this makes me HAPPY….that a butterfly came
    for you…..it’s a
    sign

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  16. grace Forrest Avatar

    you explained it completely Beauty Fully
    i can SEE it all….and i can feel your joy

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  17. grace Forrest Avatar

    EEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
    YES! wide powerful strokes!!!!!!
    You DID it!!!!!

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  18. Cindy Avatar
    Cindy

    Grace, it seems to me that your Fertile Void has reproduced.
    Oh YES to pencils! Pencils and paper seed words and pictures and scribbles and BIG THOUGHTS which eventually reach us here at Windthread. Thank you. LOVE.

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