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Wendy said…. "working with clear energies that are often opposing each other,  to allow for more clarity,  less intensity,  and a clearer  compass towards reconciliation and integration"   

integration…..       required.

Dee's post.   I was so flooded with gratitude to her for the beautifully crafted presentation of all that i     live  with…..the part of me that has been simultaneous with the work with Sharon Salzberg,   the circling round to the teachings of Eckhart T0lle  which are to me absolutely True and Real,   both                 How do you reconcile these in the mind heart and body?   How to     LIVE with these opposing energies within the self?        or      are they opposing or just Front and Back of the same human  dilemma?   

and then…..there was more.

i read Dee's words and felt loosened.    this day was Bright       Sun      and warmth     i went out to care for the Goats   there was a lightness that hasn't been there for so long   and down at Jack Flash's Gate….i leaned in and said the words that i have said every day for months….      "Friends!   hello!   I love you.   Thank you for all you show/ed me "          all through the winter/Rain months i say this even tho they have been gone,   remembering how every morning in the warm months they were there,   showing me their Lizard selves,   Uno and Dos    leaping and coming forward   "to" me   showing me connection between us    communication between us for which i will forever be grateful    so i have continued to say it  and i saw a

flutter

of something that i assumed to be a leaf            but it was not          it was      one of Them……a Lizard

just like before     it's small self standing there,   it's eye contact    body  directly facing     and i was FLOODED with JOY,   Gratitude,   Surprise and Wonder         i don't know which of them it was   but one of them…..just like it was at the end of the warm months when they had to go     Just like it was.    and my whole self just exclaimed!!!!   EEEEEEEEEee  OH   OH

Thank You     

How to            reconcile   these         Realities?      Integrate,   Integrate them.     Begin with a Beauty FULL day.   there is 

Release.   we       Go.    

 

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3 responses to “Back”

  1. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    After reading Dee’s post, commenting, reading other comments, thinking of the push pull of wanting to engage more fully and knowing my energy limits, I felt kind of lost…so I come here and read of integrating and reconciliation.
    This morning, as I always do, in every kind of weather, it was cold and dark and then rain came pouring down, I stood on the patio in front, thinking to self, it would be good to step quickly and get cleansed by this rain, feel the cold, let it wash over my doubts of engagement and then I thought, nah, you might catch a chill so I went back and forth. In the end, I danced out toward the apple tree, feet in the muck of mud but it was ok…only lasted a few seconds but it felt like an integration of what can be done and what actually is done. Just because energy was expended so many hears ago, does not mean that a quieter form of political energy is not possible and so reconciliation with what was and what can still be in a new form was a good thought. Reconciliation and realization that the ember that I spoke of in my comment on Dee’s blog, did not fizzle out; that I can still carry it quietly and also pass it along to others who will engage loudly…

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  2. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    I try to digest all you say, consider it with intention and then I think…I’ve thought/wrote this before. Deja Vu. Trying to understand, interact, honor your words comes slowly at times.
    But what I can say that will make sense is that my last times at the bridge there have been teeny lizards, shadow colored flecks of movement. Too fast, too blended in to catch a true photo. I stop and watch them, trying to be as still as a human can be. The last visit, they were darting into the holes where the rodents live. This made me quite curious because I did not know this was a thing – never seen it before. Plus, I wondered if for survival’s sake…was this their best choice? Is it wise to enter the home of the beast? Is this some sort of yet another life metaphor?
    Okay. Ramble over.
    xo

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  3. dee Avatar
    dee

    Thank you Grace. Lately I’ve been writing things that aren’t Rants and they aren’t Laments. I can tell that some subjects WOULD HAVE been rants a year or eighteen months ago. So something has changed. It does me good to come here and see the lizards and the goats and hear your voice. Your singular preoccupations. Your openness to life.

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