windthread

recent posts

about

strange day

20240629_175558

it began like any other,    wake,  become upright,  make Tea,  drink Tea,   watch daylight unfold,   feed Goats,  Cook,  feed self,   Little Sleep,  20 minutes,  second Tea

like any other but then i took up the Sketch Book,   noticing how few pages are left in this one and turned to the first.    and it spiraled from there.    In?   or   Out?,  the spiral?   what's the difference?    First some pages have printouts  glued in of  Still in New Mexico…August,  2016     Beginning about the Old Apricot Tree     i didn't look at many pages, really,  skimmed through till more recent….but those skimmed pages are YEARS.   and i remembered something Beth said….Still Life Pond….   "I don't think in words"   and  how many times i have remembered her saying that…DID SHE REALLY?, say that?   I  emailed her to find out     and it mattered because i thought how when i "heard" her say that i was…..REALLY?!!!   yes!!!!   i don't either!!!!    and i spent time with that and realized i think in Pictures…like that thing i have about it all being like a Slide Show…the pictures projected on the blank wall…click,  click,  click         and it's how it was….tryinging to think about August 2016

where was I?    

and then….when   did i Get HERE?    and i had to go back through so many clicks of the slide show     But the pic here.    The Magic Diaries Cloth i think?     on       that       Wall     i used to have in New Mexico

and maybe this all is also connected to Emrie's questions about why i live in this little place with no working microwave…she had a lot of questions       I tried to tell her about the house in New Mexico

all these words          all these words       all this         thinking           how i don't do this much anymore and how much a relief it is really,   that  it's all just        stuff,  really….           Beauty FULL  stuff   but Stuff.     and as an aside,  i realized somewhere in all this i realized that it's all          documented          in the thing of this sidebar Archives

i went there and saw                Emrie just born         Emrie,      why i came here.   born July 2017

Posted in

15 responses to “strange day”

  1. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    This feels like a lot, but perhaps because I can’t truly know all of your internal thoughts and partly because just the sheer amount of years holds so much. I went to July 2016 to look…that photo on the 30th – while we all grow and develop and change…just her expression, says that she came as is. She is Emrie. I can see her there, even then. I was quiet back then, but oh how I remember the days there before coming here. Just reading that it was a ‘work away” day brings back so much. Such a tapestry you’ve woven with so many for so long. The earth may have shifted a bit upon her entrance. xo

    Like

    Reply
  2. grace Forrest Avatar
    grace Forrest

    and i hope you see the sheer poetry of your thoughts…and you know more because of being at the Well with Wendy,
    she said something some time ago about our own uhhhhh,
    response to things on anniversaries of certain times of a child in our lives………
    turning 7
    the beauty of the words…thought….that the earth shifted upon entrance….is it not so for all of us? for each Being? some celebrated some not but shift, nonetheless

    Like

    Reply
  3. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    Words weave story, can explain family history, can answer the many questions of a bright, inquiring Emrie. You have your own personal enclopedia of your life in New Mexico, this wonderful archive treasure. Perhaps, over time, as the questions continue, you can share, as I’m sure you may have already done, this treasure with Emrie.
    You know that, at times, I am an archive dweller, so naturally, I went back to the time of her coming and read my comment. I told of how the day she was born, it had rained in New Mexico and I stepped outside and saw a rainbow and in that instant of seeing that magic, I knew that Emrie was here; a little being of light, joy, hope, strength and wisdom, for her traveling to join La Familia, gave her an old soul…7 years since her arrival and she is all of that and so much more…

    Like

    Reply
  4. Joanne in Maine Avatar
    Joanne in Maine

    I liked remembering her arrival as well. and the words Marti wrote….seeing them again. We all have traveled together- not knowing each other–for years and years. Feel like distance family to me.

    Like

    Reply
  5. Marti Avatar
    Marti

    I left off a word in my comment: the last sentence should have read, almost 7 years since her arrival…

    Like

    Reply
  6. Beth from Still Life Pond Avatar
    Beth from Still Life Pond

    I did say that about thinking in images rather than words. I think it was in an email to you re: breakout groups where you’d have to speak on a topic off the top of your head uninterrupted for a certain amount of time. I’m awful at that. I need a lot of time to consider, process into language, form sentences. I’m so slow. I do much better reading and writing than in listening and speaking. In Sharon’s recent class I was grateful to have her transcripts in addition to the audio.
    My father was an electrical engineer and a brilliant problem solver. He earned several patents in the 40s and 50s. When I would present some sort of problem to him, he almost always came up with a solution or ideas. It might take a few days, but his brain continued to work on it, visualize. He was a quiet man and I loved the way he thought. He once told me that when he was in school, taking a test, he could actually visualize a page of text and read the answer.
    When I try to put links here my comments usually don’t make it through, but if you search wikipedia for “visual thinking” and “auditory processing disorder” there are interesting articles. There is also an article at Psychology Today called “A New Look at Visual Thinking”.
    Also did a look back into those days in 2017. All the anticipation of Emrie’s birth and moving. I couldn’t imagine you not being in NM. And here we are all these years later…

    Like

    Reply
  7. Peggy McG Avatar
    Peggy McG

    Pondering… “I think in pictures” yet words are still needed to explain… and how many comment hear that they prefer pictures telling their story.. yet words …the words here from all are so articulate, deep and wise, and so human and so connected.

    Like

    Reply
  8. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    Beth and all, This thinking in pictures is so interesting. I am considering. I think I think in words and pictures/photos come along with these thoughts. But, sometimes one sparks the other. Mmmm…
    And “breakout groups”…I don’t know what you exactly meant by that…but you got me thinking more. I am always surprised at the words that fall out of my mouth, especially when discussing things in the field of ECE or work solutions (that maybe really aren’t after all. Ha.). But, the teacher I mentor…we now joke because I say, “Do you have a pencil? Are you taking notes?” – because all of that ‘falling out’ happens so wonderfully formed and then I could never say it exactly the same way again. This surprises me to have this level of comfort, especially as an introvert (but it mostly happens with things I know well). Thanks for the prompt here!

    Like

    Reply
  9. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    Oh…and that is how J. spells…he visualizes the word in his head. I can’t do that at all. I am an awful speller! haha

    Like

    Reply
  10. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    Peggy~ Sometimes both are needed to communicate what one wants to, yes? Especially if one is wanting to communicate clearly what is in their head. Sometimes either communicates Something, but it may not be what the writer/photographer is thinking/seeing. If I write a poem or prose, how it is taken in may be so far from what I was feeling when I wrote it. Likewise, if I share a photo, the viewer takes it in at face value (without the history of circumstance and surrounds out of the frame of the shot) or they take it (or my words) in and blend it with their own life experiences. Maybe this is why communication can be so hard?!! haha

    Like

    Reply
  11. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    Grace~ I am thinking about these words of your, because I thought them too even as I wrote of her shifting the world.
    Mmm…so, yes it usually does shift for all of us – maybe just for our family, maybe for a wider circle…for some more than others? Yes, perhaps. How does the celebration interact with the shift? Mmm…thought needed. Also, how does that change as a child grows and changes? As their circumstance grows and changes? Sometimes we just never know. But, I will stick to my original statement about Emrie, for what a difference she has made by arriving. Just that is enough. And I stick by my feelings on ‘magic’ people, which I written to you about before. Some just are. For me it has to do with being what some call an ‘old soul’…a certain knowing, way of being. Thoughts drift off…

    Like

    Reply
  12. maria Avatar
    maria

    yes Nancy that’s why communication is so difficult , even more when your mother thong is different to ,

    Like

    Reply
  13. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    Ah Maria…good point!! Any other differences like home language, processing abilities etc. would sure muddy it up even more! Thank for this bit my friend ❤️

    Like

    Reply
  14. Beth from Still Life Pond Avatar
    Beth from Still Life Pond

    I’m sure most people think in a combination of visual and verbal. What I’m attempting to describe is more towards the extreme of visual. Almost to the point of needing a step of translation from the stream of visual into words. It takes more time and effort to communicate. I’m not talking about using photographs to communicate. This is really hard for me to explain… The Wikipedia article on visual thinking does a pretty good job if you want to pursue it. And breakout groups… usually used in workshops or conferences to break into smaller discussion groups or pursue more selected interests off a main topic.

    Like

    Reply
  15. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    Ah, yes…breakout groups! Just did not connect that in what you wrote, but yes, speaking on the spot. I actually like that, I usually find my words well in situations like that. A friend and I were just talking about this 🙂 Silly me.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a reply to grace Forrest Cancel reply