i woke this morning and again….that sense of Lost,   of   flat~ness,   of  not knowing  how i can go.    i made the tea,  did the Usuals and it clung….the word was angst.    I googled it and it was wrong,   not what it means to me,   but what it meant to me was what i…

love it when this happens.    ordinarily it would be a tomato worm….but the experience is the same.    Just mindlessly gazing while holding the hose to the adjacent pot of  Amaranth….suddenly,  the brain alerts!   i look,    and there,   clear as day….     like it is too,   when there is a snake,  just…

so much known intellectually…so many sources,  so many words,  Beautiful words,   true words yet…some kind of veil…or,   maybe membrane…..between the intellectual,  the Mind,  knowing,  and the   experiential plane….the FELTSENSE ,   the OFness

a sprig of windfall on the road up/down….     What are these on it?   they are like tiny bowls.    ????    

bringing up the Rock from  B Garden,       there,  on the road in a very conspicuous place….this pomegranate.    NOT one of the ones i've been watching,   this one,  all transformed of color.   The seeds…still moist.    ????     i would have seen it on the way down…..?????   Where had it been?   How did…

the Malibar,   self sown   abundance   and  joy Full ,  vining UP and UP and i SEEEEE the vines,  every day,  More and  extending squat and just look….their Beauty and Glory and this was enough,   but then this eve,    a pic on Message….from my son's woman….mother to their child, my Colorado granddaughter  Giana,  9 years …

Orca Lummi Nation       San Juan Island   captured at 4 yrs lived 50 years in Miami aquarium.     aquarium.      an   aquarium.    Orca.  

so….it's not      What   is  next ,  but  rather my relationship to whatever it is.   Which could be anything,  everything. the relationship.    and this is why  WAITing is the key.   And Trust.  Trust because i know i can,   because there is So Much i know i can trust.   I'll let it all rest…

' Wonder…as a verb,   as a noun. the key,  maybe to the Fertile Void is       WAIT.       she says       to wait.  trust. like i am teaching Minnow.    before lunging through the door,  the gate,   …………    wait.  i  tell her.    her whole self quivers…over time,  she will be…