windthread

 

so…trying again.   I NEED this post here.   To mark the Space and Time.   This was Sunday…and a Turning Point.

Turning Point.    

all along,  while i've been stitching the Spirals,   i've kept two gallon zip lock bags just across from me on the table.  like…18 inches away.  One is for pieces i come across as i go through those Giant Cloth bags,  the 13 of them,  finding the components for the Spirals….pieces of cloth i love and want to keep close.  a lot of them,  there's only one small piece of.   The other bag is just small small scraps,  like an inch or something.   but needing to be kept also.   just because.

and as i have been reading Ways of Being     James Bridle     there has been fleeting urges to make a Cloth…in the "old" way,  old being before the spell of the Spirals….a Picture Cloth…..but i  still don't really want to do that anymore.   And really…there's no time.   The Spirals and the 3 quilts take ALL the SPACE of the days…as much as i can give and still cook food,  eat it,  care for the  Beings OutSide,   READ,  and with any warm day,   work down at the B Garden,  BE  OutSide and attend to this growing Awareness of how stuff IS.  How It's Presenting Its Selves…how i am OF  It All.  

anyway….drinking the First Tea on Sunday morning,  looking at that bag of loved pieces,   i had the urge to take some out and did.   And just moved them around together in front of me,   pushing the lap top back and away,  making space right in front of me and the

PLEASURE of that.   the Enoughness of that.   and suddenly i realized that it's the thing of Doing,  me and the cloth,  that i love and that i

don't need to stitch them together.

i can just do this…anytime i want to.   create the collages and then

just put the pieces back into the bag for next time.    that THIS IS ENOUGH to fill my need to be with the cloth,  touch it,  see its relatedness making some kind of Image Story.    that this is Enough!   

and that acorn bowl  that has been in the candle holder with the pins and sharpener….impulsively set there…my immediately calling it a prayer bowl…..about prayers….how i don't pray TO any thing,   how they really don't even have words,  my prayers but somehow still are       prayers      and that little acorn bowl is perfect for this.

so…this is enough for now.  it's a big Turning Point and i have marked it here enough and i type this with the fear that once again somehow it will suddenly all disappear  and i'll have to wait again  

Typepad chose to disappear the pic.   Trying again.

"Western Grey Squirrel.   A United States species of concern but are not currently listed as threatened or endangered.

Although Western Gray Squirrels are diurnal,  they are secretive by nature and stay away from humans as much as possible.  The Western Gray Squirrel has a silvery gray back,  a pure white belly,  and a beautiful long, bushy blackish gray tail edged with white.  These squirrels prefer oak and conifer forests,  traveling the arboreal pathways made by interconnecting tree canopies and feeding on pine cones.  They also forage on the ground,  eating fungi,  pine nuts,  acorns,  bark and some vegetation.  Like Eastern Grey Squirrels,  they bury acorns in the fall,  presumably finding them later by scent.  This behavior is called scatter-hoarding .   Western Gray Squirrels usually produce only one litter per year.   The female builds a nest of sticks for raising her young and the squirrels often sleep in nests in tree cavaties.  They are not territorial about their nests.  Only one squirrel occupies a nest at a time,  except for a mother with her young,  but several squirrels may nap in the same nest cavity in the course of the day. "     i naturalist .org

the First Time…..near the base of the large Pine by the Buck Feed Shed.    Sitting there,   holding something.  On the ground.   The Squirrel.   First time so NEAR.   ….as in    "our space" .   Always   UP in the branches ,  or a little lower,  but branches still,  back by the Curry House…speaking,  but never before like this and i kept approaching,  same pace and They     stayed     sitting and holding      until i was maybe 6 ft away and out of nowhere Puppy lunged and They hit the tree and escaped upward,  but only so far,  looking down,  was clear that this is a common scenario,  no concern.   I always only see one squirrel.  So i think it is THIS squirrel.   The Hill's squirrel.   I was honored.   That They chose to sit…as i approached.  Trusting.   5 years in December.  Stuff takes time.   

Then… the Spirals.  We'll call them that for the time being.   Finishing these two today and beginning another,  that second…I was sure COULD NOT work…but kept going and ….it DID.   They ALL do.   Over and Over,  they All do.   and i smile and continue in Wonder that it can work this way.  And continue in such great and deep pleasure of Them.   

today was supposed to be the day,   but i didn't.  maybe tomorrow.   I know they will be undaunted,  will begin again,  but this is just so….uhhhhh……such a piece of work

Margery…Tricksters Hoard   gave this today and  it was so perfectly beauty Full partnered with Them….

" I once read about a mourning dove who constructed her nest of just five poorly arranged twigs "    I LOVE the visual those words give me….the FeltSense of them….looking here and then that mourning dove…me,  how my nest is right now…piles of cloth scraps   

what lives we live,   all in the presence of one another,   sharing a world

 

Housemates.    it's only been maybe 2 weeks tops since i last cleared the Window.    I don't know where the old one went after that…saw her once up above the window?   But now it's two juveniles.   they keep separate sides but their webs mingle.   This morning i see that someone has extended out to incorporate the picture frame.   Boundries.   they will have to begin again.

Erica Heilman     Rumble Strip   pod cast     today,  in honor of Veterans Day.   Please take time to listen.                                               the story of Vaughn Hood.   rumblestripvermont.com  

it is extremely extreme.  is Beauty FULL.     and comes in keeping with so much lately….things that all my life i   chose    either not to understand at all or to adopt a very limited understanding.     I am seeing this,  over and over.  it flows in  like a river.  

and i suddenly so clearly understood Jenny's man.   He is a quiet man in general,  but in moments of  tension or stress,  he will stand,  statue still,  staring off.     He was a marine in Iraq through 2 tours of duty.   I talked to Alyssia today,  you might remember that she was recruited by the Navy right out of high school  7 plus years* (not 2)* until a medical discharge.    The conversation was not what i would have ever expected…about the numbers of military in peace time and in war.  the history of the Draft.  so much more.   so  much   more.    I am amazed at what she carries in her head.

Please listen to the podcast.   

 

 

this is as far as i got.      the repeating "thought"….    Things are born out of darkness

will find 11 ns 12 in the morning

and so.    after all of  How It Might Have Gone,   it didn't.    We remain,  to some degree,  a Civil Society.   We voted without violence.   Without crazy.    Maybe  "we've" had enough of that.   

 

 

 

ify internet,  intermittant pics,  36 hours Straight of RAIN,  my boot fell apart.    Maybe tomorrow.   

pushed to the side like this….as if they are talking

 

a screen shot from FaceBook.     there was no credit to a photographer.   i thought for sure it would be Annie Liebovitz but i don't think so.     it's such an incredible photograph.   Everything about it,  so so BeautyFULL.   just as Art.   But then ,   who he was.   I thought about how he might have decided what to wear.   How to wear it.    I wondered if he had input in the "surround".   The choice of chair.   I look long at his face.     What does he want us to see.   The longer i look,  the more the sense that he is looking back…directly at me.   i look long at the wall behind him,  the floor,  him against and of the perfect backdrop.  What does he want us to Know?  with this photograph?????      and then long into the day,  long into the looking,  i thought about his

Courage    

maybe that's what he wants me to know.    I'll keep looking.     

 

 

 

not been a great week.   really,  tho ,  little things.  but enough of them.  none the end of the world.  and  this was understood all along,  but they kept coming.    and the truth is….there is a constant mental,  emotional nausea.  I want it to be OVER.   Either way.  How ever it has to  go.  OVER.  so we can put one foot in front of the other.  and the paraphrase from Clarissa Pinkola Estes…        Stand,   and Face What You Know.        Women Who Run With the Wolves.

they came,  Alyssia and Emrie,  to bring Ice for the refrigerater and to take the propane tanks down for Refill.   Emrie now can negotiate her seat belts alone.   i watched through the window as she did that and saw her  with something in the palm of her hand….care  FULL….carefull……and she got out and leaned into me and held it up……Rose   she said.   One word.  Rose.

a petal from one of the roses at her house.

a petal.   but for her,   a whole

rose.   Gift.   in one petal.   Carefully carried all the way here and gifted.

She is so incredibly changed by Kindergarden.   It is beyond stunning to see.   Like that moment when the chrysalis cracks open  and the ButterFly eases out and opens it's WINGS…..to become what it was destined to be

ALL that she is LEARNING ,  just Taking in like nectar….it's stunning to watch…her JOY learning how letters go together to form WORDS   her hunger.  hunger to know.

and she brings this single petal.   says   Rose.   oh….oh…..

in the book,  he says…."chart a path towards a future …. less extractive,  destructive and unequal and more just,  kind and regenerative"

 

 

 

and instead of switching the ice,   what i really wanted to do was this.   I took the Wall Cloths off and hung the Earth Sheet.  Pinned and pinned and pinned the  ….blocks?,  i don't like that word.   ok,  so…components?,  i don't like that either,…so

the things.  i  pinned the Things.   I want to,  need to,   wake up in the morning to them pinned like this.   

then i did the Ice.

so, yes.   Krista Tippet,  On  Being,   will be offering a Community Read of   James Bridle's  Ways of Being.   Over the next 7 weeks.   In the previous post to today's she talked of reading this last summer,  using an oversized sketch pad to write and draw in as she read.    I'll use my regular ongoing sketch book.    I am grateful for this at This  moment.   The work of it will ground me as we go into "the next".   i look forward to writing abbreviated quotes,  maybe fragments of sentences and thoughts.   I underline in books and make marks in the margins but this will allow for more.    and i think writing his words,  on  MY page,  will bring a deeper sense of them than just reading and     going on.   And,  also, too, will give space  to note the things that i have been preoccupied by/with in the last Long Time   that are the Same as he gives word to.    SO glad for this.

 

 

 

i don't know where i left off when Typepad was having its Moment…but these are the last ones.   My love of the making has not lessened.