windthread

 

 

 

 

you would've thought i was setting out for the Bering Straights.   All the mental preparation,  all the map study….when in actuality i was only going down down this slide of a hill into town and then across to find Nelson St or Ave  where i have actually been once before.   But it's Epic.  for me.   I STILL have zero sense of direction here.*    and i watch self saying to self….in New  Mexico,  it was……..    Well,  hey grace,  you don't live there any more.   You live here,  where all streets wind and curve and turn into other streets for no known reason,   like Olive Highway turns into Washington St  which turns into Bridge.   And there's the Round Abouts   where you can go in a circle,  yield,  yield, yield until you see what you need and the arrow pointing that way.  

i wanted to take my ballot there.   to the County Clerk.    Right outside her door.    After i put it in the slot,  i just sat a while in the parking lot.   Feeling the relief,  some,   feeling SOME relief,   my ballot was in that box,  right outside her door.      I thought and felt so sad.    i could try to find other ways more interesting to say it,  but i felt so sad.   I used to be happy on Voting days.   It's gone.   and there is no good to spending time on that here…it's everywhere and people will all make their choices according to their own sense of it all….no need to spend time on it here,  but it is so so sad.   i thought of the word      incredulous      .  is that a good word?    sort of.   but even incredulous has energy.    What's repeating and repeating is draining energy. and well,   we get back to sad.

so,  the Book.   I've only gotten part way into chapter 2.     But it came via Krista Tippet's Newletter…her On Being Newsletter on Saturdays.  You all know how much i have loved that podcast for so many years and  maybe know how bereft i've been without it since she has…."retired"….but in the newsletter last week,  if i read it right,   she spoke of a kind of group read of this book that she spent the summer with.   Will find out tomorrow.   I hope so.    Hope.   so.

*today there was a very vague soft Felt/Sense of  which way was "there",   then which way was "back".  and it was right.

and i should note.   Today was the first day of wearig Levis.    to mark the Time.  to mark the Season.

 

 

 

the candle holder.   from my childhood.   rarely have i had a candle that fits,  so,   rarely used.  but kept.    

Since the quilt making,  i've needed pins right here on the table.    it's perfect.    

the paint brush.   Nancy,  Pomegranate Trail,  is wondering about Inktense pencils.   i sent her this pic of the brush i use when using them on line drawings.   it belonged to that most beloved friend   Margery Burke Price.   back when i was working with Oils.    it's stiff bristled.   i cut it this way when i used it to paint the masks of the fiber figures…oils too for that…..for that,  sopped with turpentine.   now,  water.  I cut it impulsively one day,  at least half the bristles, off  and it was Perfect for how i needed the turpentine to flow into the paint.   it is now perfect for how i need water to flow into the Inktense.

it's Raining.   sometimes a LOT and continuous.  Sometimes some and sometimes some only at night.   This would mean the ending of Fire Season but still and always,  November 8,  2018,  the Camp Fire.   so not yet.  Although that year the rain didn't begin till mid November.   it's also

cold

this week 50's and down to low 40's,  even high 30's at night.    I am remembering how to live this season.  Just a few weeks ago it being so

hot

its hard to close the door at night.   Separate self from the Goats.   from   Out There.   that always takes a while.

 

I try to only use the heater in the morning…a few minutes at a time,  well,  like maybe 10  or 15.   So far,  so good.    i wear a jacket.   the knitted wool Circle of Web   from Lace Lady   on my lap and down to cover my feet here on the bench of the Everything table.   I searched for 2 days for my gloves…could not find but  DID cause a miracle in that back room.   So much letting go,   bagged for Goodwill.  Out in the vehicle,  i'll take them tomorrow.   The feeling of Expansion with this.  The contracted energy of Stuff to Do for someday,  gone.  This is Now.       The sewing continues at a steady and sure pace.   Much is different this year      am not sure how to word it.  or how to understand it,  really.   it's good though.   and i Did find the gloves.  in the little cabinet behind the buck Goat's  Tortilla Chips and Talkie's Meal Worms.  all nicely kept there,  just not remembered.  They'll make a good difference tomorrow morning at Morning Feed.

 

let's see if this works.   

So.   I did it.   the Weather App said i had 2 days and as it is,   it was/is true.   It is now COLD.   and…..

RAIN.

so i had imagined what i might do as you can see in the "lying sideways" pic of the previous post…the panel of cloth walnut dyed in New Mexico.    the greyBrown with dark marks.    but that requires tying and also,  letting sit in Sun so that parts exposed to air…uhhhh….oxidize?   I don't know if that's the right word?,  but what comes to mind.   The exposed edges become black.  

i could do neither.   it was too much cloth to tie.   there wasn't enough time.  So i put it in.  Just put it in.   and,  Here,    i could not have wanted More.   It is Earth.   THIS Earth.   I realized that the Marked Cloth wouldn't have worked for what i have in my heart for this.   I want to WRITE things.  On all borders.  Important things.  Things i love.   Things of this singular year.    THIS,   is perfect.  The rectangle spirals  are the most recent ones i've made over these days.  I have kept going.  I keep going.

  

 

 

 

i worked at this post for 2 hours off and on.   Typepad being touchy again,  and even now,  finally,  only giving 1/2 size pic.  BUT

1/2 is ok.   I worked at the block all morning and it just wouldn't happen.  I got to  Six and  just could not find a way to go further.  Nothing worked.   I tried a thousand things.   Gave up.    Went to give water to Garden  and then looking over,  as i squated to turn the water off…to that huge broken Tree

i thought to go there and sit a while.  Just BE WITH it,   in its brokenness.   There are energy feelings there.  not  "human",  but a kind of vibration or slow pulse.  I  thought about taking pics so you could understand better but it wasn't right to do    so i went on back into and over and came upon yet one more fallen,  broken Pine.   Same break,  maybed 20,  30 ft up the trunk.  Just broken but this one fell fully.  upon Earth.     Went further and saw the one i already knew had fallen but had not gone to see.  This is 4.   Very Very Large Very Very OLD  Trees.    All Green.   Alive.   

Came back and sat at this little impromptu bench Jenny made for Emrie and Brinley,   they call it the music bench and i made a song on the steel tongue drum.   For the Trees.   Me.   this Hill.  Our Earth.

Did the thing to take all the walnuts and liquid out so i could again start up the Camp Oven burners and put them all back and fired it up  for 3 more hours of steeping today.  Brought the block OutSide and it all looked different.   I found pieces.  One at a time.   And it might just be one of my most favorite.   

I thought all day…i wished Marti was here.   Marti,  the Master Bundler.    Tomorrow i will bundle the sheet.   it's really big and i don't know how i will be able to do it.   There's no space here to work.   No table space  outSide big enough.   But something needs to happen.

used a saucepan to take almost all the walnuts and water out of the kettle,   into 2 buckets and the other copper pot,  just to be able to lift it onto the stove burners,   where it came to a boil and then simmered for 3 hours.   will repeat tomorrow.   Instructions say to remove ALL from atop burners  when lighting  to allow for proper  air flow.   So that means scooping out with saucepan again.    Pic is of  the water just from the overnight soaking.    at end of the Simmer,  much darker.  I put a commercial cotton print in,  to see if it would Sadden .   then,  couldn't find it.   Tomorrow.   more patience needed.

 

and then,   Goat Update

 

 

 

out of the Blue,  a few days ago,   i turned after feeding to see Black IN Jack Flash's Catch Pen where his food bowl is.  Where he eats.     Black is IN there with him.    !!!   Since  Sunny Ray was moved out,  he has been alone which is never the best choice for a Goat.   But if you remember,  he was all of a sudden aware that he was stronger than the aging Sunny Ray and began enjoying becoming a bully.    So….EEEE…..now what?    There was rearing up and head butting going on for a while but then  they just ate and soon,   Black   jumped over the 2×4 fence and was off.    This was repeated some days in a row and then for whatever reason,  no more.   Goats are Goats.

As happens this time of year,  the Doe Goats are feeling,  well,   Everything.   There's a lot of head rubbing on tree limbs,  chairs,  each other,  rocks,   vehicle bumpers,    a lot of snarky pushing and shoving of each other,   testing of the order of dominance,  AND

many long hours along Sunny Ray's fence.   Tail flagging,   pressing against,  rubbing.   All while Sunny Ray hops back and forth with his gimpy peg leg  uttering all manner of Goatly Love Sounds .    He is VERY popular.   and Thrilled.

and then….Nogal.   Who is not popular at all.    ?????    He has always been a gentle buck.   Father of Minion and Black 2 years ago.    But….no one goes along his fence.    no one.    ????     

but ever since we created the catch pen,  he has become more and more gentled and trusting.   Letting Emrie and i come in and sit  as he comes close to be touched.   And more and more.   As he has come to trust the 3 tortilla chips at morning and evening feed,  look forward to them,  come for them and then as days have gone on,  wanting TOUCH  even more than the chips.  He will stand,  eyes all half closed and dreamy as i scratch him through the fence,  rub his chest and front legs.    Today i went in to move his calf hutch shelter.   It was in line with the  widened  path of water when i empty his tub.   He watched as i drug and pulled,  moving it about 5 ft to the side.    When i was through i just stood there talking to him and he CAME.   Up against my leg and stood for what seemed like forever being scratched and petted all over,  ALL OVER,   never flinching….just standing with those dreamy eyes.   ?????      In the past,   he was skittish.   Would RUN upon approach….no reason for it,  nothing in his life,  but just the Theater.   Same Theater that Karma and Arctica carry on,   for NO REASON,   are No Touch.   

So all is Well.   Knock on Wood,   another season with no Evacuation.  This will be two.   It's not over yet,  but so close.  So close.

it was a BeautyFULL day  and i am grateful for so so much.

 

 

 

continued soaking…turning them under.   and made a note on Calendar to bring forward on New Year's Eve.     Check  Tree Weekly.      I waited longer and most are dry.   In the research,     best when green.    it takes more of dry to produce color.    There should be enough.  There's a lot.   and many softened today.    in the past i've  only dyed old muslin and linen.   The sheet will also make a difference.   its weave and quality of cotton.  Sheet is from Lace Lady.   not new,  but also not worn.   It is taking effort to go slow,  be patient.   Tomorrow i will need to think about how to tie the sheet.   Usually i just   "wad"   the cloth up.  Not so simple with sheet size.   i might tie it with copper wire.

 

from the antique store in Polvadera,  New Mex.   Where i used to live.   The woman who lived there was no longer  in business.  It had been her mother's store.   But if you knocked,  she would let you in to wander around.   I wish i had pics.   It was a Wonder Land of the most amazing things.    There was this.   She almost literally Gave it to me.   some few dollars.   had been repaired.

 

 

 

outside repair….not so neat.  but effective.   a boiler.  washtub.

 

it's been out back.  just there.   one of the things to be left behind in Evacuation.   Now….oh,   eeeee,  not so sure.

i hosed it off.    Here,  on the Camp Over  stove burners  to check the fit.   OK.   Since this pic i have taken it off,  set it on the bench and filled with the Walnuts and water to soak.    If there is no Wind tomorrow,  will heat for some hours.

will need to take some water out…it's too heavy….but then put the soak water back once it's in place.

i'd never noticed before,  but inside there is an emblem…. Revere Ware.   nice to know.   Some time,  long ago,  someone bought it new.   most likely from a catalog. 

Copper may give the Walnut a different hue.   I most love cast iron  but this will be a twin sheet.   Need big.

strange goings on here at typepad.   But.    Click to enlarge

Walnut Tree.   All  around,  those miles of grasslands.   I wonder what was there,  once upon a time.   and when it changed.  At first i thought it was most likely grazing land but  there's no fencing?    Was it ever farmed?    Why is there no other vegetation,  plants,  other than just the grasses.    no bushes.    But here stands  Walnut.   I remember passing,   that first year when we  evacuated to Gridley Fair Grounds,   driving through that expanse and seeing the lone tree in the distance and suddenly i knew it was Walnut…somehow you can tell,  before you can actually See.      A half mile or so on there is a cluster of them.  Then no more because the rice growing begins.   

going down to 46 degrees tonight.   Puppy came in.

forgot to say.   i left apples.