windthread

taken by lamplight,  late.

i reaized today that a Quilt

means a Quilt.

it's not just blocks of cloth pieced together,  but once there are enough,  they are set to the Ground and then….

quilted.

i have never done this.    i looked closely at the Tina Quilt,  felt it,  studied it.    What it means,   to  quilt.   

and i said i want to make two.   One for Jenny   another for Alyssia and Emrie to share.     

my life here has become completely oriented to Season.   OUT SIDE of me,    me,  being one with the Season,  part of it.   This coming Rain Season is so perfect for this.   Spring will not be,  so much.    There will be Garden of which i am part…as in,  i am Garden too.    So this will be it.  You might grow weary of it,   looking here,  but……oh well.   I am determined.

Today,  here,   7 brought me to a standstill.   I wanted to take it off.   i couldn't see any way forward.   Went back and forth from it.   and Alyssia an Emrie came to bring ice.   Emrie has a cold so we distanced.   She at the Umbrella Table,  Alyssia beyond in one of the plastic adarondiac chairs,  me in the patched folding camp chair.   Emrie painted and now and then told of School Things.   it was Easy….the exchanges….Alyssia and i,  with Emrie between…no one feeling any urgency,  just Easy.   I heard about the playground,  the cafeteria that had a good corn dog,  the new friend she said was named Cavity and we smiled and Alyssia said maybe Cassidy?,  but Emrie said no…Cavity.  But we kept with maybe not and i suggested she ask her tomorrow again.  She agreed to.   And Isaiah is in a different class now.  But Martin is still there and one of the mean girls threw a rock at him.   Martin is a main player in this kindergarten class.   He comes up a lot.   Either causing some trouble or receiving it.   And she spent some effort telling and then showing me how Miss Joyce goes about with her Walker.   Different in the classroom than on the playground where she lifts it up.   Demonstration.   We talked a little about how sometime soon she might go stay many sleepover days with her Dad in Texas.   How she has so many,  Family,  there that want her to come.  And how it might be a little hard.   and i said like kindergarten was at first.   And she connected totally….Yes,   i cried 3 days and i didn't want Ms Johnson to go to lunch.   yes…and how do you remember that now?……"i didn't need to.   Everything is Ok".  Everything is Good."

She painted 3 pictures.  Variations on a Theme of  a LARGE rainbow,  with rain falling,  a SUN.  People underneath.  One for me,  one for Nana (Jenny)  one for Alyssia.   All same theme,  but all different.  When she left,  she asked me to draw a picture for her.  Paint it.   This person is very different than the one just a few weeks ago.

back to the above.   7 was hard.   i tried over and over.   But then after they left,  i tried again and 10 reconciled.

there  might be storms tonight.   

 

 

it's been brown.   All the brown browner.  All the green with a layer of brown dust.    Rain      began yesterday evening and continued all through the night.   I left the door open.  Only the screen door.   Tay was In,  first time in months.   i woke on and off to listen.   Rain came.  Steady.   Pouring down from the   "Sky".     The weather app on the phone is great.  Hour by hour and updated if there is change.  Reliable.    Said  Rain would stop at 11 am.   would resume at noon.  Perfect.   When i went out to feed Goats in the Corridorof the Curry House i looked to the left because of movement down the way …squirrel… but what i saw was Surreal.   All that Brown was

Green

the immediate Response of Lichen and Moss  who love the branches and trunks of the Oaks.  How they had Waited.    The leaves,   glistening with a tentative morning Sunlight……it was very truly breathtaking and very truly Magical.   I have loved reading more and more the Science of it but in that moment ,  it was sheer Magic.

intermittant SUN during the day and Rain resuming at 6 pm,  again….a so welcome window for Evening Feed.  and  on,  now  2 more days,  then Gone for time being.      Here,  on this Hill,   it is truly a Great Life.   Still.   Still.

click the second pic.

 

 

was going to wait.  but then i realized,  if i made a decision i regretted,  i can take it apart.   Change things.   love this.   so,  i did what i did to let the Red      stand.    to be in all its Red Glory.    Today,  Red rules.    and then,  there was that scrap of Michelle on the table over near the thread/rock basket and i thought…..why not and folded all it's edges and pinned it there and Why Not?  

the grandiose Intention is to make 2 kind of Twin Size quilts.  One for Jenny and one for Alyssia and Emrie to share.  I think i can do it.  I think i have enough.   When i showed Alyssia the first and second squares,  i saw her interest.  Asked if she would want such a thing and she said yes,  but also that Jenny would REALLY want one.  I had no idea.  Jenny doesn't say.  but then,  this is a first for Alyssia too.    She said that Jenny LOVES quilts.  Loves TOUCHING them,  running her fingers over them…????   I never would have imagined.   We are such an odd bunch.  So tight in certain ways but also such mysteries to each other.   Or at least,  them to me.  

 

It's RAINING.   Forecast is for 3 days.    It has never rained in September since i've been here.   So far no downpour,  but  a steady   Very Good     RAIN.  

 

 

 

How the pieces of cloth are

them selves

this way.   Just form.   in and of themselves.   Not for me to  "manipulate",  create with,  but just there.  in their rectangular form.   In their most basic Beauty.   Cloth.    

as if they say   "see me".   I am.

and then….

Color

Color is an inter~action.   Color presents.  the viewer responds.     Color is Alive.   

i knew it would come,  but not so soon.  This

RED  that i have had for so so long

which isn't True in this photograph,  but as close as i seem to be able to get.   RED.  A color i almost never used in my life.  a color i still would not ever Wear.   The only red i have been close to is what i always used to call scab red…an earthbrownred.  red iron oxide.  maybe of my beloved Carnelian stone.

and here it is.   RED.   there are still two more pieces of cloth.  #s 11 and 12 of Airy Cat's Map.     Both will touch this Red.  Both can change this Red.   Initially,   i wanted that.   to change it.    to buffer its  request for intimacy.   What do i mean by those words?…..in this moment,  i don't know.   But they stand.   to buffer its  request for intimacy.    

 

 

i read.   the Master Gardner's Newsletter about our Winter Garden,  the Mediterranian climate…    I don't think so.   Many of Them will continue now,  for instance,   the Green Beans have been growing new leaves for a week or two?   What's their Intention?   Don't know.   A couple of the tomatoes are still blossoming.   and the cucumbers…continue.   But plant new….i don't think so.   I think i will just focus on amending the soil.   Building it up by Giving  More.   More is so much needed.   and then,  the Hugelkultur bed….a big deal…will need to haul logs on the sled.    and some INTENSE grass plants have CLAIMED space….Intense,  Fierce.   Am i growing Wild Grass?   or what?   As i gave water today….as i have done EVERY DAY since sometime in March,   squatting next to Them there are so many questions.

i forgot to say….today two very excellent bell peppers.   and under all that Wild Grass,  the Lemon Thyme.

i went with Alyssia for the first time to see how to get to Emrie's School.   I am second on the Call List.   If contact can't be made with Alyssia,   there is me.     It was not as i imagined.   A great sprawling school.    Kindergartens are in front.   There is a kind of courtyard    with benches for waiting.   The entire street is filled with cars waiting to pick up kids.   Some people park and walk to the courtyard as we did.  and wait.   Something tells the Inside ,  like a bell?   what?   that it's time    and the door swings  open and they file out,  so orderly,    to come around   to stand against the fence of the courtyard till their   "person"   arrives,   

i could have been there for hours just watching it all unfold.    How parents or caregivers came,   how they Were,  how they looked and if i could have,  i would have struck up conversations with all of them…found out something.   And then….all the kids.  All the kids,   in the short moments,  there were so many individual STORIES of kids   I would have asked them things

been amazed at the Humanity of it all.     In the lead was the substitute teacher,  Ms. John Emrie says.   Like Ms. Johnson,  but not as much she says.   She leads.  look at her posture.  She leads.    Emrie is 3rd   in the line.  

it was Beauty Full…this simple thing of Kindergarten pick up  that i took so much for granted with my own kids,  with my grandkids,  but now…watching Emrie….a WHOLE OTHER THING   I am watching humanity  in  2022  California,  United States of America  Planet Earth.

 

   

found and stitched.   Top left.   Jude.   9 patch.

on #8…a sliver scrap of Michelle.   it wouldn't stay…would rub off or wash off or 

but i just tacked it there.  because.   #8 is the MYSTERY.   where Michelle lives now.   

i had second and third thoughts,  but….went ahead and and began with the Coyote cloth and then #3 the Michelle and on to the Toad Egg  and then Patty's  [ Listen to the Road]  Water.    I  imagined it might be trouble and it was because i kept wanting only specific kinds of Next  but i thought…it's OK for this one.   There's one more thing that's not pictured because it took forever to find the scrap,  but i did.    

 

 

Kindergarten Update.   Today the class was divided in half.   Half stayed put with the Principal as teacher.  The other half,  10,  went over to the other kindergarten class that also has 20 kids…so that teacher had 30?  THIRTY KINDERGARTENERS???? Emrie being one.   This is what she came home with.   said the day was Good.    Ms. Johnson finally sent word.  that  she is on medical leave.     Intends to return on the 26th.    

Try to Listen

Erica Heilman Rumble Strip Podcast.   BEAUTY FULL.   BEYOND Beauty FULL….    Armand's Garden

You Tube  Chogyam Trungpa     Basic Goodness and Harmony.   Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche    He taught Crazy Wisdom.  this herd of Goats…their registered Herd name with American Dairy Goat Association ….Crazy Wisdom.

to All of Us.   Gentle Day.    cynthia.  

 

Faith's WonderFull MAP of How to Go    went all the way to #17…and that's where i was headed in my mind,  #17,   but in front of me was a pretty BIG square.    Pause.    Look.   Think.    It's 12 pieces of cloth,   12"  X  12" of a square.    and that was because something stuck in my mind from the YouTubes that had   2 1/2 "   as the guide….??????   Anyway.    17 would be way too big with this 2  1/2  thing…. but i love having 17 There….in case.   Safety in the way ahead.     Map.  and i want to let go of the 2 1/2 so there might very easily be 17

i heard Deb's words….Don't match….i took pieces from one of those HUGE bags .     The URGE to match,  to PAIR UP was hard to overcome,  but i did the best i could.   I think it will become easier…?   And as I  See the sense of Freedom of the result of that…how they all somehow still go together and that 's what i want to learn here,  to understand….it's what i've always seen in Deb's  Good Enough….the reason i loved / love it so much.   The SWIRL of  All things.  

82 degrees.  low tonight 55.     

the shift and may it stay.   the shift in available Light….it's dark now…so early,  i change back to giving water early in the day.  And  the light allows me to see such small things….squatting….such small things and the Lizards have come out from where ever they have been hunkered down….today there were Many.  

to just stay here.     with this White Zinnia that took forever to bloom.    i'd planted so many  seeds…scattered them….so few took hold,  i think they were 

eaten

but  here She is,  in all Glory,   how her petals curl into kind of tube form?   her interior,  so full of Mystery and Allure.  Beauty  Full   Zinnia.   White.  amidst the All.   

such an Intense Other Worldly day….it Rained.  Twice during morning hours,  once maybe 7 drops the second time maybe 13 and then at 4:56 to 5:09,   RAIN.  Fat Full Rain Drops fast and without hesitation.   the scent of Rain on dust dry Earth and Goat shit.  Perfume.

for those inclined.  Please go read Sarita's comment on the 9/3  post   What did/do I mean?  Lives like i do      I am not ready to find words for it yet.  Maybe tomorrow.  

an update on Kindergarten.   Last Thursday when Alyssia was waiting to pick Emrie up,  Ms.  Johnson and the Principal came through the doors and sat on the steps of the school.  Ms Johnson was sobbing and gesturing.   Alyssia couldn't hear all the words but it seems that in all her 30 years of teaching,  Ms. Johnson had HAD it.  TOO MUCH.    Friday there was a substitute.

today,  the Substitute again who said something to the kids about a new teacher tomorrow.   ?   

From the fragments of words between the principal and Ms. Johnson that Alyssia could hear,  from Emrie's 5 year old report,   one of her classmates,   Isaiah,  had been slapping  and strangling,  choking  others.   Emrie said it was not her because she had made him a Friend.  (we are unsure what to make of this).     Today,  Isiah was sent home early for same and for bashing Martin in the head…Martin having to go to the school nurse and came back to the classroom with an ice pack for the lump on his head.

She reported too that again,  she was wary of the school lunch.   She said it was a taco.  Alyssia questioned…a Taco Again?  and she said…well,  maybe not a taco,  but something folded and she gave  a demonstration of the folding which looked like origami.  She ate  carrots.  a lot of them.   She was not hungry.    Kindergarten.   2022.  Public School.   Covid kids.  Uncivilized.  Innocent. 

and i set INTO the Rocket Science.   I am on rectangle Nine.    Deb's Good Enough Quilt seems so uhhhh,   relaxed and Easy…but i am finding,  is full of Nuance that  makes it what it is,  that has mesmerized me all along  and that maybe i won't be able to replicate.   in the slightest.

Try to go read Sarita.   She was/is   the Center of this Day  

 

 

the drawing is a combination of two pics,  two diagrams that Faith sent.  There is a third,  a color coded.     All those You Tubes and there could have been 

this.

and then….Deb's short video….her voice,  her hand,   her Cloth.  and she says:  nothing can match.   Here i go.

I cannot believe how LUCKY i am.   and i go forward with confidence that i CAN DO IT.   and curiosity,  Big Curiosity about it all.   That curiosity feeling really Good.   I am a Rocket Scientist.