windthread

in the middle of the night i knew i wanted to make a  "Good Enough" blanket.  I want to copy Deb G.     I went back on Bee Creative  and tried to find her first square but was using too much battery in my wandering  (reading for instance other things, like the reminder that English Muffins make good garlic bread)  so i asked.   Her first square was August 9,  2020.  She linked me.   

Before i got the link i  YouTubed  log cabin quilt for beginners and watched a little of a few,  just to get the idea,   and started sweating even more than the day gave,   ee,  all the measuring……all the going in a direction….measuring……more…..strips cut ahead of time    so i got a piece of paper and tried to see how it might actually be.    Surprised even myself at how dyslexic i am.  It's Rocket Science.

but she sent the link and i knew i wanted to try it.   I know i want to try it.   

i will try.   

and

here are some Beauty FULL numbers:     92   92   92   86   79   83    the forecast.     

 

 

 

 

late to Feed this morning…a call from N Mex….and so it was already  hot when i began walking the fence lines.   Going SLOW first because of the heat and then as always,  there's not any clear path for humans…the Goat paths are there but they often go  under things.   and it was over on the rim of the steep steep side that drops abruptly down to the creek below….just a rim,  maybe almost just a foot wide.  and that covered with sticks,  pinecones and branches.   2 cattle panels  buckled over   a wide gap.   A real struggle to get self into place to pull them  upright and then close enough to tie to the t post,  with the blue baling cord.  Did it.   Continued along and along and along down to the turn along the other rim only to find that i'd forgotten.   A while back when we needed a gate,  we took that one and closed the space with a piece of cattle panel  zip ties and wire.   I was stuck.   could not bear the thought of backtracking.    so went forward along that fence line till a sagged section,  pushed it down and climbed over. 

i sat.   just breathing.   just feeling relieved.    and then began looking at All around me.   a small lizard was looking back.  watching.    for long long moments,  we just looked at cach other.   each of us so still in the presence of ourSelves.    Lizard.  their eyes,  gaze.   same as mine.  a truly mutual being.  Kin.

this is an old drawing from New Mexico.   i found it when i got back and what i love is the hands.   They express how it felt…to be held by the  consciousness of that small lizard.   a kind of embrace.   that said….we are ok.   we live.   

 

 

 

looking for How to Live these Extreme days.   The hardest part really,  seems to be the restlessness that cannot be eased.   DOING is not an option….as in going about on foot doing.   Mid Day  you just sit through it.   Goats,  Tay,  Puppie and Talkie hunker down.    Birds do not fly overhead.   There is reading  but sitting  OutSide at the Umbrella Table,   the Umbrella just a thin membrane that lessens glare but does not lesson the effect of SUN overhead.   Reading hasn't worked.    I wish it did.

i thought about what i never take time for and thought….Color…my thing about Colors….how i am so attached to some so in avoidance of others…so….Color.   Brought out the Inktense Box.  72 Colors.   and just started with one mark of one color.  and On.   no image in mind,  no image appearing.  just marks of different colors,   and i looked at all 72,  so many seeming redundant and chose ones that i normally wouldn't ,   just to find out how it FELT to put them on the page.  That would be the first pic.  Which i didn't like at all.  it didn't FEEL good.   so i added color on top of color to see what happened.  Pic 2.   Still….NO.

Pic 3,  i used graphite,  as an overlay.    I like the grainyness that happened,  the mutedness,   the blurr.    This one i can Be with.  and the three of them….tomorrow i can look more and  continue.   And …..This is a Way….How to be with times like these.   To do things i ordinarily would not,  that require attention that i'm not comfortable with.   

Tomorrow and the Next Day to go.

then….down to hover around the now Bless~ed 90's.     

 

Journal journal.   

Mid  day,  there is a calling out…Goat…calling out and thinking someone had gotten themSelves stuck somehow,  i went

to find that Arctica was in Nogal's catch pen….he is there with her,  sniffing her politely as he would,  being a Gentleman,  her yelling,  not really,  yelling,  somewhere between calling and yelling,  but vocalizing a wish for Help and  if this were not enough,  looking on down the way,    

there in Jack Flash's catch  pen    IS    Oona, Caroline,  Black and Minion!      !!!!!!!   ???????    

How did all this happen?   The gates are secure.   ??????    What????

so i let all those out who needed to be Out and resecured gates.   They had drank up all Flash's water…filled that.   Stood there in wonder.   Ok then.  Said i'd go walk the fencing this evening when it cooled off.  But it didn't and i didn't.  We'll see tomorrow.

 

moving toward Equinox.     to give water at 7pm is now too late…or…..maybe not….there is a certain kind of Peace,  to finish in darkness ,   walk back in the dark.   Especially   these kind of days.       

midnight tonight   92 degrees

they are always somewhere here…on the basket,  on the Table,  in the basket   and i  pick them up.  Often.   Hold each one,  looking again and again at them and never becoming tired of looking at them.    And today i thought….it's ok to make ones like these.    So what if i make a million?      They take up little space,  really.   They feel so much like parts of me…  like Visuals of that Felt/Sense Thing.    

and i followed wandering threads of thinking….i typed in the street in Detroit i lived on when i was born through 4 yrs….saw,  not THE house because i don't know the number,  but one so similar…i recognized it….and i remembered listening to my friend Judy's older sister Ruthie and her friends singing jump rope rhymes.    And i typed in where i lived after that and the pic was blurred out but it looked like the side of the front yard,  the beginning of the hill that went down and down and down to the creek and i was surprised that i've never spent time thinking about that….how that was also a

Hill

and then the house that was my house in Ann  Arbor Mi   it's still Yellow,  like they painted it after i sold it.  Can see both the houses of my neighbors there.     All these Places.   Still Exist.   

Time slows when it's HOT…when HEAT is in control.    When the body understands it must surrender.  and in a certain way it's a freedom for the mind to wander…?

I loved very much Nancy's  [ Pomegranate Trail]   comment on 9/2….and thought how the Weft of Us that wander here is  so the same,  our weaves being who we are,  our stories,  …..the importance of the Telling of those stories….to  "share, compare, teach"

and i know now that i CAN do what i need to do when the number rises over 110.   I can.   I need to go slow.  Stop.  go again.  Stop.   Hose my blouse often,  it dries in 20 minutes,    But i CAN!   and that is great news.   I didn't know what to expect.   

Daughter Cloth.   woven with that 6ft ladder in N. Mex       Out.   Here.   On this Hill,  September 2022.   i don't know why.

 

the Last of Them for this year's Garden.     double click

did i say anything about the grey folding chair that's been under this house for a couple,  few years?   That i pulled out,  now being able to consider other materials than wood,  like i was when i came here when everything had to be wood,  so i shoved it under the house.   Pulled it out the other day and ….in these days of  Figuring Out,   sitting OutSide,   it's comfortable.   It's not wood,  but,

it's comfortable.

comfortable,  why they brought it here to me.     For me.    

so the arms of it …the weird fabric,,,,,   broke through at the "elbow" .    I am there today,  putting off going over to the Beach,  feeling restless,    so i 

mend

the arm that broke through with some denim and Deb's Thread.   sitting in it,  i mended,   awkward,  but 

i kept at it and then on to the other arm that had not broken through but was almost ready to   and i have a Mended Chair that was at first rejected but now, years later found to be Comfortable.   I'll take a pic.   

low tonight  78 degrees

put the bottle of wine on the Table just outside the door.  Left it there.   There is an umbrella to the Table so it's always shaded.  Didn't think twice till….there was a  "something is wrong with this picture" moment….  

Looked every where for the cork.    nope.   so,  tin foil.

 

i give water,  but it is WE who are given to.  All.   the earth,  log borders,  me,  the Glorious Sun Flowers,  air,  weeds,   and on and on and on…i am able to  make this small fountain of water for Us….    Us.

ok…so what did i mean?   and i don't know how this will come out,  it's late and still Hot and i am loosing steam…eee,  oh,  funny,  loosing steam….

like as in this experiment of a travel trailer with no electricity mostly was what i was referring to.  There's all this "out there" about how the elderly should 

stay inside with their conditioned air,   be sure to hydrate.    i am an elderly.

Ok,  the hydrate part,   hard enough.  By nature i'm not a big water drinker.  But i am working at it.   I consume.  Water.  Watch the color of my urine.   I consume now,  WAY more water than i am naturally inclined to because they say it's critical?????  OK.  Stay inside They say.     Well….inside here is way warmer than OutSide.    have no thermometer so have no numbers…but it's true.    So…what do i do?    There is the Beach…up a little ways and Over.   the kid pool  the mist er.  Degrees cooler there.  Feet in kid pool.   TREES.  Trees over Head.    Over my head.    

this is what i meant.   it's all kind of experimental.   Wasn't intended to be this way.   Remember?  there was supposed to be a small wooden house with window sills.   Electricity.    Seemed easy but was not and instead,  there is this tin house and a brilliant array of usb batteries  and me,  figuring out stuff.    Just to say.   At any given moment i can give up on the experiment and move into town to Alyssia's.   This would make 

Goats

complicated.   

but could be done.

but i don't want to.   DON'T.   am committed to the experiment.   Some weeks,  then.   Some weeks of the year it will be hard and take thought.   and this is why i wished for another,  who deals with same.   Maybe they know more.  Maybe they can advise?  i guess that was what i meant.   ????   is it?   

when i go to Feed in the morning and evening…over at the Curry House,  i turn on the water first so it has a chance to cool as i do what i do.   It runs from the hose,  down into the Doe Forest.      It is the ONLY water in the Doe Forest this time of year.  ONLY. and i have heard….and now listen for,   the sound of the cricket people in that stream of wet earth.  they sing a very quiet song in the dark.   This sounds nice.   Cricket People singing in the Intense Heat.   Maybe.  Maybe not.   it's  "artificial"….the water.  But then….they sing.  a quiet singing.  So maybe they know how it is ephemeral and don't care,  sing anyway.   ?

 

 

 

 

if the morning…before light…could last…just a little…longer       this Shadow

this weekend moves toward mid week of 110 degrees.   I learn how to do this.     Because  temps will only rise in the foreseeable future,   i went this morning for dog/cat food,  Talkie's meal worms,   Wine for me.   We are Ready.

there is almost a hypersensitivity.   i spend much time looking up at the tips of the tree branches…where they are There…in the light of SUN as it moves through    "the sky"   watch as leaves let go and spin down.    On the way to town,   the men in the heavy equipment doing some great project with Olive Hwy,   their long sleeved shirts,  Vests,  Helmets,  steel toed boots….like the branches.   I drive past a person sitting hunched on the curb.  Like i sit.  squatsit,  leaning forward,  but he is in a world of his own under this SUN,  sitting on the curb,  head bowed down,  his index finger ….tapping.   tapping  the back of  his neck

there was a tomato worm.   i wondered…and there it was.   So fine a tomato worm,  child of a Hawk Moth.   and i plucked  it off and flung it to Talkie who looked at it with one eye and declined and there it was…. and tonight,  a night later,  i still feel the grief of that in my gut….how it all happened so fast.   I need to find some kinds of native Nightshade and plant it…so i can transport the inevitable being from "my" tomato 

i wish there was a blog out there,  somewhere,   of  someone who lives like i do.   

 

 

 

 

when getting the tall enamel pot yesterday,  i glanced at the two plates in the dried grasses.   Why? were they sitting there?  but that's as far as it went.   This eve as i gave water to the farthest of the new Faux raised bed,  something….very small,  like maybe pea sized ,   smaller

….Hopped….away.  two hops and disappeared into the grass and pine needles.   All i can imagine it might be is a  Toad?   What else hops?    but i haven't seen  Toad this season around…and tree frog?    i don't think so…too dry and i don't hear them…so, ???   The plates are good.  shallow.   but could quench thirst,  could cool a body.   The forecast being over one hundred degrees for the next 7 days…Tuesday,  108.   

"when we humanize the world,  we may prevent ourselves from understanding the lives of other organisms on their own terms. "

Entangled Life   Merlin Sheldrake