windthread

some or most?,  i don't know,  but some for sure maybe 200 years old….the Trees…..

 

Hopi SunFlowers.   months old.    They are small.  Spindly stalks.    ????    but so Much,   SUN flowers.   the small one…shored up to a bamboo stick and tied with ToadEggCloth.    CatherinE's latest post.  Gemtactics.net

Mid morning Oona,  one of the two eldest doe Goats was  Yelling.   Calling.   Yelling.   That happens sometimes.  For whatever reason one will not go off with the herd…preoccupied with something?,  but then realizing what's happened,  stand there Yelling until the others hear and return…      Like that this morning for a while,  but then they returned and she kept it up.  Peeing a lot  and then checking it…and i wondered if she was having bowel problems?????   Was something wrong?  Trying to remember what to do for bloat.    All this taking place near or at Sunny Ray's fence and  then   Black,  one of the young boy wethers mounted her and she  "stood"  for him and it all clicked.  She's in Heat!….how wierd.   Only her and  tho they are "supposed" to come in heat every month,  they don't,  but when they do it's always around November.    ???    Dear Sunny Ray…he is  done.  Not even a curl of a lip.   He just stood at the fence as if for company for her misery.   We have  wondered  sometimes  what if we could just let him out now…to be with all of them,  there's not a lot of info out about old Buck Goats,    no one HasThem,  ie keeps them.   they are beyond expendable,    But now with his bum leg….      After a while,  she forgot.  and returned to same old same old.  Quiet.  Peace.   

 

there is no dye table here,  as Marti remembers from  N  Mex.    With Free Goats,  it would be impossible.  But i 'm hoping that the Janet Chair might somehow work…all day today it did.   They all noted it in it's new place where it needs to be so it can be moved through the day,  tracking SUN.   Noted by smelling it,  sometimes liking it,  or tasting….same with pot rim and jar…but then just went along.    The jar.   was in  the back,  under this tin house,  and i guess from 2 years ago?   Full of Oak Galls,  some moldy,  the liquid inky dark.   I bundled a,  ummm,   dress?    a cotton household cloth thing…i guess is a night dress?   I should have taken a pic.   Anyway got it wet and bundled.  Tied the string.  Stuffed it in and turned jar over and back to soak it.   Repeated a few times    during the day.  It was white.  now is brown,  that same brown as the dusty dry earth the Goats travel.  My hope is to mark it with walnut in a couple months.   a Garden dress.   camouflage .    Today,  the "weather" was/is perfect.  90 high   64 low.  i feel like Goldilocks.   

NPR Morning Edition today.    segment:   The School of Needlework for Disobedient Women.    a workshop for teenagers in  embroidery,    Berea,  Kentucky.     A bright Goodness.

 

how much of all this has to do with the HEAT…the over 100 degree temperatures…….?

am trying to understand,  see clearly.   But where i get with the understanding,  if any where,  ….the Heat will still be the Heat.   It's my response that i can align.   The Oaks are dropping acorns early.   Goats eat them.

in an impulsive gesture a couple months ago this small,  9X7 basket was brought to B Garden…intention was  to put into one of the bins.   It got as far as a clump of  drying grasses and left.   I pass it all the time.   Notice out of the corner of my mind and ignore.   I went early today,  to unload some books and cloth into one of those bins in keeping with an agreement with Self to accomplish something like that…one  on  the most procrastinated list….and decided to go forward with the dye~ing…cut some Malibar to bring back to that Copper Pot.   but i had nothing to carry it in.    

the basket

and how so perfect.   Things can go like this.   I want them to go like this.  I want my Self to go like this.   Listening to the moment.    Being in response.   Aligning and noticing.   How does that FEEEEL?   Does it work for some kind of Well Being of the Whole?   

 

if on a laptop…don't forget to double click.   the Malabar.

 

 

 

5 decades in the making.   The nation's first major climate law.  Passed the Senate.    5 decades….most of my life.

same day….i   "finished"  here.   Except for the Toad Egg banner,   all else is secure.   there were more flowers prayed.    This is a Love Cloth.   The first Cloth that truly was/is only for me…no thought of how anyone else might experience it….it's my story that i need.   Stick House…Shrine maybe.   Diorama.   Love Cloth.   and for now,  the last cloth.   

i am in deep gratitude and Love to Jude,   Jude Hill Spirit Cloth,   for showing me the way to all that is here….the wild and un contained walnut dye of the Ground upon "household cloth",   the brilliance of fragments to create an image,   that invisible baste that allows me to do what i want and love to do.   It's been some years and will rest now.   it's  "that" August,  the 77th and there are other things I'd like to "get right" with.   need deep Intention.   

Will keep this pile of Deb's Thread here with me on the Table….in case.

i feel Good.   i feel,     uhhhh,     solid.   rooted.   strong.   

 

as its gone for a while now,*  i take stuff to Nogal and Jack Flash when i go to Feed.   Most times it's 3 tortilla chips.   I ran out and to make up for it,  i took a saltine and an apple slice.   That old teaching….don't ever do anything once unless you don't mind doing it forever again.   the apple slice.   went over really well.

Jack is his crazy self.   But Nogal…it's biblical.    the apple.   anyway,  it's all i can ascribe it to?   that and somehow in combination with the Catch Pen Feeding?   the Evac Pen?…..a smaller space that he has learned to Trust?   Maybe that opened a door?   Trust….it began a few weeks ago with him coming to the fence for Touch instead of going to his food.  Touch became more important.   He is a gentle buck Goat…Tenzen's boy.   But also skittish in a normal Goat way and more so since here,  in his own large Forest space.   But since the Catch Pen,  Emrie and I have accustomed him to Love at the fence.   and now,  recently,  he has taken it further.   He will stand there…as long as i can manage…and Receive Touch….i put both arms through and scratch,  rub him and he stands…his eyes slitted,  all dreamy

as today….and i said…ok….let's see.   I went IN through his gate and squatted a little away from the entrance to the Catch Pen.  Said,  OK,  you need to come here if you want to.  He did.   He came and just stood there while i rubbed and scratched…his whole Self,  his spine,  his tail root,  his armpits,  legpits,  his horns,  chin chest,  legs….His Everything.   and he just stood….RECEIVING

this is the kind of thing that needs….attention.   Attention.    Care  and deep thought.    If it comes to the moment of Evacuation,  how can all this Stand and at the same time secure him to move him out…against his will….?????   

this kind of thing.

and then,  the Garden.

 

the light was….odd.    it seemed Ordinary,   nothing i could put a finger on,  but it was different.   colors,  different,  even the shadow of the needle different.    Sometimes i would think i should  pin to the Wall Cloth…see what was happening,  but i kept NOT doing that…just going….just by touch,   little by little.   Just what was the immediate Next.     a LOT of stitches.    

a very FULL day of so much      uhhhhh,     vague awareness of so many things.   rising from some very specific things.  These are interesting days.    

giving water at B Garden….these was a lizard,  under the Daisy Bush….i could have not seen it at all except for yesterday,  twice,  there being the dark form ….so FAST….that i think is the skink?    but remembering and wanting to be ready tonight,  in case.  But this One.   i have never seen this before.   Was taking one step at a time.   Slow.  walking    walking    through the run off of the hose,  through the wet earth,  sometimes stopping and stretching head up,   looking up,   then taking another step.    I held my breath.

a being

 

began the day with four drops under the tongue.  Crepe Myrtle.    Essential Botany    

Alyssia and i were talking about the presence of the pink Crepe Myrtle….her house in town inundated.  As she drove here one day,  the blossoms all over her hood and roof she said it was as if she were part of a mexican funeral procession.   And they are all over town.  Every Where.   pink Crepe Myrtle.   So…i googled and came up with this,  the fore of many,   Essential Botany Flower Essenses…through Etsy.   i ordered…3.    me her Jenny.    who knows about whether they will or will not,  but…it's Here,  in case.

this morning me.   There is a postcard with them,  Myra,   wishing that they serve me well,   but otherwise no info except what is on the label  of the bottle….

full moon

spiritual patience

open to opportunity

balance of masculine/feminine

Joyful Oneness

Google tells me of many applications for blossom,  leaf,  wood   some Ayurvedic .    depending on this essence,  i might make a tea.   Pink Crepe Myrtle lives among us.   is our immediate neighbor.   

my experience is only with Bach Flower Remedies.   which i have known in the past.  Not for a long time now,  but in the past,  using them,   brought me to the place of just    Thinking of a remedy   and that being enough.   Strange and interesting and makes me smile.   Flower Essences.   

belov~ed  Copper Pot 

 

with Emrie's  "tool",   for size

 

a universe within

 

day revolved around scrubbing Copper Pot.    letting copper come through years of heat and weather.    it took time and won't go further.  this is good.    good enough.

and it has to do with that sense of having arrived.  with having become what i've been becoming.   there  is   a Calm.   No hurry.  Time enough.   Remembering the pot in the Other Place,  on that makeshift adobe grill out Side,  on the wood stove  In side.  Today….Imagining what might happen,  Here,  next.     No hurry.   There's time enough.   I took  her down to B Garden with me.  To introduce.   Walking back,   she rubbed on the mother of pearl button of my dress making an interesting sound.  I tapped and then again and again and realized that she is also a kind of musical instrument.   Goats liked this.

 

 

 

they're relatively small.    these are squash leaves.   They are all over in the little faux raised beds.   in August.   Mushrooms.   ?????    One of the  What If's  for dye.     I brought the copper pot out from behind this place.  Will wash it tomorrow.  Found 3 qt jars.   

Emrie and i have had 2 consecutive days together…Alyssia's   VA medical has finally clicked in…she has

appointments.   that means me and Emrie.   Yesterday we washed the vehicle Friend with the garden spray nozzle.  I moved Friend and left the keys in the ignition for a few hours till i remembered and then,  just took them out.  But late last night there was a very small whir sound and i went out naked into the night because i couldn't identify it and it was….Friend.  and i thought to move Them but found the battery dead.   eeeee.    So today,  after her appointment,   we jumped the battery and i had a half hour of driving to do to recharge.  Ok….  Tay and i drove up to the Visitors Center  and turned around and drove back down to the intersection by Lakeside and went straight through where it became Miner's Ranch Rd and went and went and we passed what i think are Olive orchards?   The roads are all very winding  with very little shoulder for the most part and a 45 speed limit/requirement .     i wanted to drive slow and pull over a lot…but ….not…so i am left with a lot of wondering but what i did see and understand some about is the Changes in the land here….from the Visitors Center to all along Miner's Ranch rd..  probably elevation?  but i don't know,  but it is not homogenous .   it is very different and there was an odd expanse that almost felt like Escondida, New Mexico…????   All the human habitation along those roads also so different one to another,  individual and  often one of a kind.    I thought about when they were…built…when the people came there and claimed the space.  California is…is ….is   a truly Beauty FULL place of Earth….strange and Beauty Full Land.    I can imagine it,  without…..people.     it all was a little surreal  and when i thought i'd gone far enough,  i turned around and came   HOME….to CareFree way,  turned in and drove up,    pulled in by the big gate and thought….I live here.    I live here.    This is where i live.   this is HERE.

yesterday,  trying to figure it all out…i thought…..DRAW it,  grace….and went looking for a blank page in the notebook and

here it was.    already.      from August 4,  2021.          To the question of   Why 77th  Year?    i'd asked  Self that question.  What came was….

I will have arrived.   Some Where.   to where i've been going.    that i will have become what i have been becoming.      And,  this is Truth.

 

 

i have done virtually ZERO plant dying since i've been here.   it's time now.   I'd like to do that.  Slowly.  Thought FULL y

had to leave early this morning…to the grocery store in town.  Have to leave early enough so Tay is not in the parking lot beyond 75 degrees.  Even tho i leave the windows almost all open for her….people have  issues about dogs in vehicles.    so there is tension involved with grocery shopping.   Coming home.  bringing things in.  I'd left the cap off the pen and it

bled ink

into the words.

an unsightly splotch  that i only noticed when i photographed the Asian Pear

 

as i was leaving,  because it was such an   ODD  overcast day,   the Madia was still  OPEN.   and even tho time was of the essence,  i wanted to hold the moment with the camera….their Beauty,  their exuberance,   their Brilliance,  to open and close,  daily,  a single bloom,  opening and closing daily,  over and over to CONSERVE for the well Being of their on going ness.   And the grasses,  all around,  so dry and so so Beauty Full….i wanted to just stay there forever looking at this.  Filling with this…the Madia,  the grasses,   the immense Knowing of this Earth and all her beings…i wanted to stay.   Standing there.   just stay.

and then,  the splotch and how that felt.   

I am going to let cloth rest for awhile.   or…me and cloth rest for awhile.    Cloth making has been at the center of my life for some years now.   I think of cloth ALL the TIME.   the center.   A  lot  is involved here,  but what is essential…as,  of essence…to the need to rest it.   i see  Madia…it seems her   "arms"  are outstretched    as if willing for an embrace.   
It's August.  the 77th August.   the month that has always felt  like ending of circle,  cycle,   beginning again.  Ending/Beginning  my interior calendar.  the calendar of my body.   the calendar of my Life.