the Bloom
Lilacs
volunteer tomatoes
Garden. i look for, find, and listen to voices from Ukraine. The people there. I try to look at how this is sounding different from Syria and Afghanistan . The aloe, lilacs and tomatoes make that possible. They breathe, rather than speak, their breath being a language, they breathe to me how plants grow Everywhere. The most common denominator.
time to put them back in the box. Tape it up. slide under a seat in the Vehicle. I took some of the things with me to Garden today. Set them among the plants. I wish there was no Fire Season but there is. and so. Away now for another Someday. i'll look forward to that.
i could spend days photographing these things. Turning them, moving them into different relationship, catching Light as it changes and changes them. i love them.
Addendum.
everyone else was at Alyssia's today, clearing the yards, dump runs, the floor in the Yellow House. At the end of the day, i got a Message from Jenny. U tube Link for Laurie Anderson O Superman Official Video . I cried 3 tears. More wanted to come, but…well at least 3
I used to wake the kids up in the mornings for school with this. I would first call up the stairs….Time to get UP, easy at first, then louder. and then, most days, this. and then Rolling Stones Beast of Burden. then back to this. as loud as the stereo could go.
Alyssia called at the end of the day. said Jenny made her watch it. the whole thing, everything. Made her look. didn't say what the conversation was around it if there was any, We were who we were, me and my kids. Some of the things here go back to those days.
and here we are now.
how they will be. i found a piece of silk. heavy. odd. ripped it. "forever" now, once they are stitched, stitched to it. it will take a while but is what i will do until it's done. it will Place me. i will go from there, wherever there is.
the day was elegant. Garden. there are two volunteer tomatoes. i worked.
the contents of that box remain on the Table. i washed some. held them in the palm of my hand. read on utube how to clean copper….salt and lemon. ketchup. i need to "document" these things. maybe tomorrow i'll begin. i look at them. THEY are a me.
one of which was starting Sunny the Toyota truck who i have neglected for maybe almost 2 months…Sunny who hauls the Goat Boat for evacuation. Sunny who will be 40…40! years old next year. Turn the key, Turn the key and YES…no hesitation, does not skip a beat, STRONG, STEADY. And there's a storage tub in the truck bed. This small cardboard box in it that was packed maybe 2 years ago, things that needed to go. Needed to stay safe. Box taped closed and i didn't remember what was in it. Here we have it. I'll tape it up again tomorrow but tonight, i touch each thing. Love each thing. Remember everything about all of them. Every year i redecide what goes, what stays. Always, tho, the Tina quilt, those 13 gigunda bags of scraps. this box.
this pot. Sarah Oh, student of Deb Price~Agrums Artisan.blogspot when she was teaching at Whitney High. Sarah, who i followed in her posts and was so lucky to be able to buy this at their annual sale. Because i loved it being a pot with a lizard, because i loved everything about it, because i wanted Sarah to know that her ART would be able to sustain her in her Life. This pot i'll keep out for a while. Sarah is in Art School in New York. OR maybe even has graduated. Sarah….Love to you.
whatever else happens, where ever else i go with cloth…. These. All the while i am saying I don't know, they came. Clearly and surely. i will stitch. Stop questioning and simply Receive.
i would have. but my "mind" wept. With….surprise, amazement and just some kind of Love, a sentient consciousness for what it is to be human in this world we have created, and are creating, in 2022. In a world where we can evolve forward or back and which will prevail is unknown and really, unknowable as it goes
i watched the light as Sun rose and flowed in across this cloth in front of me and suddenly…i saw. When nothing was coming, when i was feeling empty of reason to make cloth, empty of purpose and meaning
the forms and colors and then….the beloved strip of black and white, some familiar forms but within a uhhhh, flow that feels more like some kind of language . and i instantly recognized it. and went back to the words of Elizabeth Gilbert, in conversation with Pico Iyer, OnBeing. the Future of Hope 3 2021 Nov. 18
"I feel very strongly that there's an intelligence in the universe that wants to communicate with us, and I think that it tries to find us in however we are most…..that we can most find it."
how hearing those words, i felt them as so true to my own sense of how it is, how things are presenting themselves in these last years for me, how they so perfectly SAID a Truth that i know and do not know. How i loved so much she said them. how grateful i was hearing someone say the thing i sensed.
"Wants to communicate with us"
for each of us, different. For me…creating pictures with scraps of cloth. How i find and hold my place as it all unfolds.
these words are inadequate. But it was an Emrie day so i was there, in the Real of her. I can continue now, as i stitch. Trying to listen well.
i don't know what's going on with me and cloth. It's never been like this before. There are a lot of Life Things going on. I say…maybe it's that. But i don't think so. it's between me and cloth. Us. Something. I look at this, that makes no
"sense"
and one of the things i think is….what if that strip of black/white, the "other"side of it, is the Only piece of it i have left. i LOVE that strip of black/white. Love isn't even a good enough word for how i feel about that strip of cloth. What if it's the only one left? It was sent to me. a gift and i don't remember who or when…maybe Nancy? or Michelle? I wish i were a better person about keeping track of those things. I always mean to, but then they somehow just get stirred in with all the others in some burst of making.
Maybe it's that the 13 XLARGE Gigunda bags of fragments are still in that back room. Maybe it's that. Maybe i need them out here, across from me at this Everything Table. After tomorrow i'll bring them back. Pile them up there. again. see what Happens.
even tho they have been released from the Doe Forest, they Come Back here, to the place where they ordinarily only go when it Rains. Wary.
