windthread

there were a lot of words that went with this pic…a lot of GOOD words,  thought FULL words,  but typepad disappeared them.  So just this for the moment and hopefully,  the words in the morning.  

Love to Everyone.  Love to US.

if you didn't take the time for the On Being…5~27~2021  Tracy K. Smith and Michael Kleber~Diggs

please do.   Don't just read the transcript….listening to their voices is the WHOLE of  IT

and then…to Utube   Nina Simone  Live at Montreux   1976 .  1976 .  i say it again.  1976.   I wish I knew how it Would Feel to be Free

leaving B Garden later than usual.   Turning to hook the gate and look up…..the magic!   Remember….from in that corridor behind the Curry House….how i first saw them at night…illuminated by the Moon….but them,  of themselves glowing White  like land Spirits or fairies….how ever you are inclined

there are only 8 plants.   ?   Another thing i don't know.   and i went to look for them in that corridor.  There are none there.

the single TALL stem up from spokes of totally dry leaves.   Blooming.   

again…On Being.   This time  Tracy K.  Smith  and Michael Kleber~Diggs    History is upon us….its hand against our back.   Both of them and then them together….word weavers…just such Beauty.   A dance of what wants to become.  is Ready.   Have listened twice.  Will go now to listen again so i might dream it.

in A's potato Garden….at first i thought they were tiny mushrooms….there are zillions,  size of a pin head,  smaller,  

these are the most mature…maybe like a small lentil.    They are dry and firm to touch.  Not mushrooms….Fungi???  or just something i don't know?   I should have noted the ingredients of that garden mulch stuff that I put there…."forest products",  bat shit,  someThings else….Organic,  it claims…..I just LOVE the imagining of what all might be going on in the soil….there is a strong temptation to dig into it…look….but i don't.   Feels like such an invasion of privacy,  a violation of Place.   I just need to be content to watch what happens.   And more and more,  even if it's a  "fail",   the time of being curious is well spent.   

We check into the WEATHER every day.   Beginning Saturday we move into the 100's.   maybe for a week ,  till we drop back into the balmy 90's.   May the Force Be With Us.

if it works…the potatoes….we will add wood.   But for now….cardboard to enable the hilling of the potatoes.   If the Whole of the Wall Garden could be potatoes,  onions and garlic….Joy.   For three households.   We'll see.   

MOON is rising.  i watch.  Talk to son on phone.   They will be here for Thanksgiving.  His daughter,  my Granddaughter,  Giana,  8 years.   We imagine each other.     Moon rises.    Blood Moon.

no prevarication.   need all this here as Journal entry.   So,  the thinking about prayer.   the continued wondering about that,  how i identify no one,  nothing,  to send off a prayer  "to".   Do i imagine a response?,  really?,  no……so…this thinking kind of thinking for days and days now and  simultaneously,   synchronistic  appearances,  occurrences,     The repeated arising of the word Communicate when trying to define my urge to pray.  So the days have gone by.   There's been the conversation between Tami Simon and Caroline Myss on U Tube that is introduction to a Sounds True Webinar  Awakening to the Great Transformation followed by another Myss Utube about Prayer its self in which she says  paraphrase  Don't worry about specifics,  just have faith.  like how you are when you take an aspirin.  You don't know the science about how it works with your biology,  you  just have faith that the headache will go away.   like that.     I look at the meditation practices,  which are a kind of Prayer tho i don't identify them as such,  Metta,  the repetition of Mantra,  the chanting.   Wondering and Wondering,  and  all the while,  things happen.   The Cloths i call Invocations…about Asking….are completed and the felt sense of them is strong and Good.    The Cloth Being,  She,  appears out of no where.   Toad.   Robins.   Prayer of pressing mud to face.   Many small things.  The On Being interview with Jill Tarter which i did not intend to listen to,  take time for,   but then i do and find self amazed with how her thoughts change my lifelong aversion to considering such things….or,  more honestly put,  my fear.   How she addressed my word of     Communication   .                                                                                                                                                                         And then,   the image above….  Here….just right out there in that night sky…just overhead.    RESPONSE.   to  "prayer"….and i remembered saying,   the prayer uttered aloud,   Thank you for seeing me.   Thinking it was odd.    And THIS.    So what if i just pause here.  Rest here.   Accept things on faith.   Finding the faith by accepting and feeling what that feels like?   Mind keeps wondering…there are pieces to the picture in my kaleidoscope  that they,  neither Myss or Tarter  offer.  Pieces that are  native to my personal cosmology that they do not speak of.  Critical pieces.      Margery Knott sends a gift:  Savage Grace  Jay Griffiths.   A Journey in Wildness.   I read.   I am in the Amazon.  Telluric Thought.   That this Planet still supports so many varied Ways of Being.  And might not be able to continue that for much longer.     the pieces in the kaleidoscope are there,  pictures begin to form and reform.   

so i like very much where i am right now.   my Prayer being:   What If   we are at a point of time  in our planetary evolution where  something Never Before has begun to happen.   What if  there will be…..communication?  Exchange?   What if the "ground work" for that is being laid….as many human beings as possible opening to it,  sensing it,  Receiving intuitions and Imaginations in keeping with their own specific abilities to interpret them and living mindful of all that this can mean for Humanity.    What if.    And really….nothing has changed.  It's all about  "Love".    All about love of the LifeForms  in all its Beauty,  known and as yet unknown.  

i fell asleep sitting at this table last night.    how long i don't know because it didn't matter.     i woke.   it had become very dark,  yet there was     light     Out There .  and  i was  "told"   Go OutSide.  Look.    

it was Still….that vast night sky being  at Center.   rushes of  "cloud"  and inbetween,    STARS.    Vibrant points of Light,  beaming out   pulsing     the kind of sky that has always made  me UnEasy.   It's SO MUCH and i have never been able to look long before turning away and looking for something      here,  something of Earth….a rock,  a plant,  something i can know

but listening to that interview of  Jill  Tarter,   On Being,   changed things.    Because it is so much  in keeping with other things,  so much in keeping with this thing i have had about Prayer and then other things that have risen up and ARE rising up     And i was able to LOOK at the

SKY

watch the movement of what we call cloud  and i took i don't know how many pics,  hoping to be able to See it in the light of day  and then again,   i was  "told"     Look Closer   and i clicked the little close up icon.     and the second pic.

waking this morning to a clearer picture of what's happened.   Like a slide show….click   click   click    that began with re seeing yesterday but then  flashing back to even before i got to this Hill Place….it's all such a surprise.   Almost everything that we,  Alyssia,  Jenny and i  (and probably Jenny's man and Julian)  had dreamed up about how things were going to be…aren't.  From where and how we all live,  including Goats,  to Jenny's job changing from part time to full time and sometimes more,  to Emrie as a second child being way more than Alyssia had imagined.  We came into it,  it being  this time of our lives,  each with our own mind movies and then  the communal movie we created  between us and then life played out.  Almost a complete Surprise.   Like this pointed cabbage above.    Yesterday making that so Clear.   Somehow like it's all been Prologue.   And now…..we Begin.  

Being old in California means that i get food stamps.  EBT.   Here it's called Cal Fresh.   and what that's got to do with all this is that at the Saturday Farmer's Market,  the Chico Market  (tho still in Oroville,  just a different place and Sponsored by Chico)  there is a program that matches whatever amount of food stamps you choose to an equal amount of  tokens to spend on food at the market.   So if i authorize $20 on my card  they run it through and give me $40 in little round wooden coins to spend.   This morning i knew we,  Emrie and i,  need to go to the Saturday Market.  I need to let her give the people the card,  and then let them count out the wood coins into a purse thing  that i need to make for her.  a shoulder bag.   and she will pay for what we buy, counting out the coins.   She's very good at counting.     AND i need to go SLOW.   Maybe very SLOw.   In her  bed time  re-cap to Alyssia last night of what she did with Old Nana,  which she tells in great and sometimes surprising detail,   she talked a lot about that parking lot that also was a street.  How there were cars everywhere and it hard to know  how to look left and right before walking and that she didn't feel safe sometimes because she didn't know and how i just kept walking….didn't stop and look left and right.  I had no idea.  So i need to be more ThoughtFULL.   Teach my eyes how to see like hers do.   Stop often,  ask her questions and listen closely to her answers.  For instance:   In that parking lot she did say….it's good we are holding hands.   

and there's more to the Beginning Again of this morning.   i am thinking it's got to do with my interest in  learning how to Pray, which i am seeing includes letting myself be aware of how that desire to Pray ,  works.   For instance:   the other evening,  when i'd finished giving water to all the Plants at B,  i was squatting over the new tiny wisps of carrots that have sprouted up and found self cupping up palms of wet soil and pressing my palms full of wet soil onto my face…..squatting there with wet mud and palms on my face…breathing in…the FEEL of that and breathing in  how a gentle Wind brought the scent of those Scotch Broom bushes and breathing in the sound of Bird voices,     Startling self by the gesture and instantly knowing it was Prayer.  I was praying.   This morning as i was thinking about all the above,  looking out through the window above the kitchen sink,  i saw two trunks of the splaying Oaks linked in an embrace….a kama sutra embrace….      I have looked upon those trees many times before but never seen this.  and i went OutSide to look and saw that it seemed that all the Branches  all over are intertwined similarly tho not erotically,  but lovingly,  reaching out to and through EachOther.   

the pointed cabbage:  i've never seen pointed cabbages before.  I wanted to know about them…but the farmer vendor is Hmong and his language and mine didn't allow for that conversation,  just smiles as i held it up and gestured to it's pointed shape and not even smiles,  but our eyes above our masks  and his nodding and both of us saying things in our own languages,  happy about the cabbage…another kind of praying?  Maybe everything is praying?   

this evening.  More of the breadcrumb trail….On Being.  Interview with Jill Tarter of SETI institute in Mountainview CA   connects with the recent Carolyn Myss.     and back and back to Back to the Garden  Crosby Stills and Nash