windthread

i was thinking,    that i would say today that i am shutting down this blog.  Maybe for a while,  maybe ….just shuttingdown.

now…as evening becomes dusk….i don't know.  

maybe it's the Storm…?…..there's great dark overhead and WIND….weather thingy says 66% chance of RAIN.   Turbulence up there,  over head.    That Energy,  coming down,  into Us,  running through…..maybe that's why everything felt so …..urgent today.  

i signed up for vehicle insurance .  online.   what a difference…here and New Mex.   but i need to get the ….what to call it?…the vehicle ,    plated…probably Friday?….so….insurance first.   It's done.      Emrie and i went to the Farmer's Market.  She wants everything….but floats through the      No's,    not today         and just goes.

She did.  She did want a chakra bracelet from the same woman she got the Sunbrella from.   and she wanted it strongly enough that she GOT it.   I have no idea what this stuff means to her.   The hispi cabbage was sold out before we got there.  Bummer.  But good and tender and small bok choy.   

so i don't know about this blog.    i really don't know.   All the above….journaled?   for what?    if i didnt,  maybe i would be a better housekeeper.

I burn Nag Champa

 

in the New Nana's Sprinkler.   I could not.   Could Not       LOVE     more.

they are related.    The exchange between them will help me.

from Margery's post….trickstershoard.com    Fire and Trickster   June 4, 2021

"The world we experience is the world around us,  but the world we know and the world we act on is the world in our head."  *              Stephen J. Pyne

it's been over 100 degrees for at least 10 days….i think more,  but there's no point in really knowing.    Today….81.  Tonight 52.  I'd waited till 7 oclock to go to B Garden to give  Water    as i have been *      and it was….cold.   There was Wind and i was …..cold.   Repeat the Pyne quote above.     I am watching the Goats.   Those RainBirds,  just one day,       actually,  just a few hours of one day have shifted patterns.   They continue to go down to that Meadow but after a few minutes,  they come back up to the rim of the forest.   What ever causes this remains unknown.  There was no discernible  moisture.     This evening as i came back from B,  they were in the open small meadow next to Sunny Ray and Jack's world.   We are watching this.  Need to watch this.    This year is different and also the 4th year with us here.     

Is our presence sustainable?    free presence……?

we have increased the amount of grass hay to them.  Morning and Evening.    it's not that they are hungry.     Back to that quote of Pyne…even for Goats.    

Tay is out there right now  as i type on this screen,  out there  in the Dark….Something Else is too.    She barks,  growls.   it's her Work.   When i went to the Curry House to give the evening feed of alfalfa pellets,   the old rice straw   was all disturbed….ruffled  through.    i chose to not think about that.  But now…listening to her……..    I see patterns change.  and ….of course,   many patterns would change.   Not just ones i know.  Unknown patterns too.    And that's the point.    Right?

SUN    Cloth.   Stitched.     I see.  I am seen.  Acknowledged.   We go.

 

where there is a pin,  there will be one stitch.   Enough to Hold Place  for this moment.   For  Now.   I  can  use this Cloth,  ask this Cloth     to help me understand.

Jenny.  the daughter.   Worked.   it was 99 again.   Today she wore a hat.   She pounded T posts in the meadow,  attached Rain Bird  whirling water spigots….irrigation spigots   they moved back and forth,  back and forth  there is a sound to this…mnemonic…..i watched from the picnic table in front of the wall garden,   turned the source water off and on at request.  Morning moved into afternoon.   Her man didn't come this weekend.  His mother,  who lives at a Senior  "facility" has been having issues.  He was feeling flat.  Didn't want to come.   She was determined to accomplish Something….and so…these irrigation spigots that Alyssia had voted NO on.   SUN seemed so Close,  overHead.    I kept wishing she'd quit and go home.  She  didn't.    I kept wanting to take a pic,  but it seemed some kind of Violation so i didn't.   She just kept going.   

I watched a woman in her 40 's  in a flowered shirt her hair bunched up into a ponytailbun that stuck out a hole in the back of her hat.  Trying.  changing.  Trying.  changing.  Trying.  changing   finally   standing….surveying  her result,  hands on hips

i remembered her…Emrie's age.   She had that kid pool,  just off the back porch of the Spring St. house ,  Ann Arbor Michigan.  She had built a world in it.  clumps of grass,  plants,   sticks and stones,  leaves.  earth mounds.   then she collected 

toads

put them in there.   it was always this time of year…they were mating and so,   vocal.    She would stand there…hands on her hips..and then squatting  leaning in and say…."speak more loud.  I can't understand you"       She is Emrie's   New Nana.   They are similar.   I am similar to them,  but old.    And then….there is the

SUN.   and our sprinkler then,  at that Spring St house was a RainBird.     RainBird.   There is no rain here.  but

a RainBird sprinkler.  

Savage Grace    Jay Griffiths    

"there are two sides:  the agents of waste and the lovers of the wild  Either for life or against it.  And each of us has to choose."

she begins in the Amazon.

"Writing notes was hard.   We walked from first light until dark,  going at a cracking pace and when we stopped it wasn't for long.  I would scribble the odd word in my notebook as I walked,  trying not to trip.  In the evening,  the guides tied candles to the trees with shreds of plant tendrils and as they ate and slept,  I would write my notes in almost complete darkness, for the light of the torch would attract a thousand moths and insects.  A guide saw my difficulty and caught a firefly for me,  gently looping a thread around its body and tying it to the tip of my pen so it glowed it's gentle green light on my notebook."

 

kinds of flags.   Just washing them and then hanging,  took care of a lot.

 

this won't go into the shop.   i need it.    If just for this    Which also takes care of a lot.   

i never can go back.   trying to retrieve lost words,  lost thoughts.   It doesn't work.   How it is here is stream of consciousness.  Trying  is  wasted energy.   so….just needing to keep This.  My words can drift off into the ………………

Michael Kleber~Diggs     michaelkleberdiggs.com   under the category of Musings…Covid  19, daughters  November 24, 2020

"The butterfly effect comes to us from Chaos Theory and is often tied to the work of  Edward Norton (tee hee)  Lorenz a mathematician and  meteorologist  who is often recognized as a pioneer of chaos theory….a branch of mathematics  that focuses on dynamic systems that are highly sensitive to initial conditions.   Within such systems,  small changes early,  lead to big changes later.   "Butterfly Effect" comes from a quote along the lines of  "the flap of a butterflies wings  in Brazil can set off a cascade of atmospheric events that,  weeks later,  spurs the formation of a tornado in Texas".   Its an example that is meant to help us understand the theory."

The Butterfly Effect.    this  quote  touched the thread….a fingertip to the thread….of  the present internal me,  trying to understand the  very small but very real Chaos Theory of my own experience….it touches and the Whole Thing quivers.

………to B to give water this eve,  after a quietly intense day of facing Alyssia's dilemma of no vehicle.   She would have brought me ice today.   So…i went there.  and we had seen on FaceBook that the new Mexican Grocery Store had OPENED.    We went.  Emrie thrilled that all three of us were going.   Julian,  as he does,  opted out.    This was at about 1 oclock and it was 100 degrees and i had of course,  Tay,  who by law can't be left in the vehicle even with the windows open allowing her to put her whole head and neck Out,  the doors unlocked but who cannot be left,  people get all worked up….so we took turns going into the NEW GROCERY,  Emrie got to go twice,  music is playing and she Danced…and it was rushed,  but great…and then to the Feed Store for dog food and back to load the ICE and zip lock shared stuff we bought and 

back to giving water at B,  me,  really  floaty…..and i SAW   the Echinacea  …..her.   Her….two stems of her with forming blossoms on each all

wilted

bent over….blossoms almost to the earth….BENT in half….like a 12 inch stalk Bent in half,  leaves limp  

i was brokenhearted.   SO  SO SORRY….how had i missed her???????????  but i had

i sat….the hose running into the earth    and then,  went on….continuing with water….coming back maybe a half hour later and 

SHE was ALMOST FULLY STANDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

somewhere in here is the scrap,  smaller than a postage stamp,  that was the real beginning.   I emptied out 2 of the oversize ziplocks,  these are what rose up and out.  And so we can go.   

a good.  really good thing because the rest of the day wasn't so much.   In her driveway,  a regular short city driveway,  the catalytic converter was stolen from her truck.   Just outside her door,  really.    Quietly and efficiently stolen.  It's a big "business" lately around here.  We read about it in the local facebook page.  So…today its us.    This year has been a hard one for her body,  and with other things,  this is like the    [ Deb G. ]   frosting on her cake.   Also,  the third day of over 100 degrees.   I turn the hose on behind this tin house as i am on my way to feed the Doe Goats in eve.   The hose runs as i walk to the Curry House.  When i got there,  Talkie was standing,   her big yellow feet  in the middle of the flow,  her beak wide open,  panting.    I filled the water tub and then left it running for a while for her.  I don't know much about heat and chickens.   

they are pretty much 5 x 7 inches    $28     

i continue to Love them,  love the making of them,  the listening that goes into that.   And now i can begin again.  This is a comfort,   the beginning again.  

if interested,  just email me and i can send an individual pic.