some computer glitches that allowed a long time to consider this one.
keeping with the initial agreement made with Self, i kept going. That agreement being to find a way for any scraps to work together. Do not Think. Just experience the scraps that were quickly chosen "for no reason" , find a way. It wasn't easy, was uncomfortable for a while. Maybe part of it was the blue silk. I don't like working with silk. But part of it was that i found self wanting there to be some kind of story that would help. i kept thinking of words of Anne LaMott and this is paraphrase…When many things are going wrong it can be because someThing really big and wonderful is trying to be born…
so there are Six now. and I'm glad this one found its way. I'm glad i didn't give up and glad that it took me through the day when i also couldn't know what was happening, to wake this morning to read that the Supreme Court held.
as i stitch, i wonder. What am i doing?….What ARE these? a lot of words come but none worth noting. Just words. but i finally just stopped and waited, without trying to come up with an answer….from somewhere Already Known. It took a while of ……pause…..waiting…..silence. Then, the word
Invocation
they are Invocations. And along with that Given word, a directive. To stop asking further. To let things Be. To let that word be Enough.
very Early…First Sun, i held it up. the position was awkward and the Cloth quivered from the tension in my hand…it was Beauty Full, that quivering
i could look at these pics forever. How the walk back up the Hill took its time, how i walked behind her, just being FILLED to overflow with the Beauty of this human being. Her sureness in her Self, in her ability, in her world and Place in it. How she is Knowing her self.
i thought about Acey's words she gave us…Second Chakra words: Element of water Change Movement Flow Sensation Pleasure Emotion Need Desire Sexuality The Shadow Guilt Duality , think today of these words as i look at these pics and replay that walk up the Hill. Her ahead of me, carrying the awkward plastic box of Stuff, me saying…i can take a turn…her responding…it's ok. I can do it. And she did. Half way up i said i wanted to stop and rest. She said no, we can keep going, i said i want to sit a minute and we did….me breathing, her, in the first pic rearranging her stuff in the awkward box. And after just a minute she said Ready?
today was an Emrie Day. Full. Long. Alyssia needed tires. That takes unknown amount of time. So she, Emrie, knew it would be a long day. She chose her outfit carefully. And at the last minute, chose her hair do. it had to be specific. She needed lipstick. Here we have it.
She brought a thing, don't know what to call it, a container thing and in it a truck. the big blue elephant from babyhood. the plastic guy dressed in camouflage to drive the truck. Her small zip bag with various creatures in it….dinosaurs, insects etc. in it. She carried that, "by mysef" down to Wall garden. Helped give water. Ran. Ran. Ran. Dug with the trowel and a plastic fork "rake"….planting rocks. Ran more. She likes it noted that she is FAST. We brought her Dora doll back up..she'd been there a year, and as the evening went along we found out that Dora's hair is falling out. in globs…..eeeeeee. She fed Goats, insisting on participating in the part of feeding pellets to the Doe Goats when they get Crazy and i kept telling her they might knock her down and after it was over she said….Goats never bite. She took hand full after hand full to Sunny Ray and Jack. All by herself….all by herself being the THING.
at dark Alyssia returned and she make shadow stories on the ceiling with her hands of Monsters and kept repeating that they aren't real. but kept making great Drama of Monsters on the ceiling. And they finally left. It's silent now…on Emrie's Hill.
