windthread

Emrie, Tay and i walked down ,  or up,  Carefree Way.   Further than before.  Emrie likes being the one to  be in charge of Tay's leash…the long one,  which is actually a lead for a horse.   She can do it now.   We walked and further down the way,  there was a bright reflection…..

CEDAR!

 

 

TWO!   This and a smaller one.   TWO Cedar Trees!  

 

and,  maybe just in celebration of that….but….not really….maybe because

for many years   i "don't do Christmas"  and this year even more so.   But here we are.   We brought back a small Cedar branch, went to the bead tin and hung 4 beaded things,  a camel….with Deb's Thread.    It's here,  in the Dark….the light of the flashlght  now.    Emrie said i need twinkle lights.    What to think.

i kept wanting that top right piece to be there.   i changed its  position,  manipulated its form over and over….No.  I went to sleep.

 

i woke off and on in the night….there was no world out there…none.   it was cold but i stepped outside,  and no,  no world.   This morning i could see why….FOG.   Solstice Fog….thick,  but woven into a Morning,  branches of Trees,    the  soft form of Goat now and then.     So….it is supposed to be This Way,   this Cloth of Invocation,  just this.  The pic is incorrect,  the real is much more moody,  no bright,  moody.  Quietness.

as i type this,  the scent of Buck Goat wafts up like incense.   I had cleaned their water tubs which requires going in to their Places and because i want nothing from them…as in when i go in with an intention to evacuate them,  because i don't have that vibe,  they want contact.   Sunny Ray,  especially,  leans into,  pushes gently,  nuzzles pockets for maybe carrot coins.   Nogal,  my fingers as i empty and scrub the tub….their EYES,  their eyes,   direct contact.   The scent of them now is how their gaze is….INto me.   In its own way,  it is as wonderFULL as Nag Champa.  I love them.

 

 

Jeff,  my grandson,  Alyssia's Brother,  my daughter's Son,  Father of Jaxon who i call Fate,  his woman T,  their daughter Brinley and T's brother Casey who is blind among other things came.   They came from where they live near Sacramento  to get fire wood.   They have a fireplace.    It's been maybe since Spring since they came….maybe longer?   A long time.  We wore our masks and kept our distance.   Who would have ever imagined this?   But that's for a different time.

and i think,  just in this MOMENT of writing this…..they came for    FIRE WOOD.   Solstice eve.    How we all,  unbeknownst to ourselves follow the thread.   Family.   Firewood.  Fire.

i suddenly thought……Maybe?   groped around under the bathroom sink and YES!,  there in the far back behind the wet cardboard box of surgical gloves,    …………………..YES………………..and EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee    this candle.

this candle,  brought from New Mexico,    incense.   solitude.   Solitude again,   the very real solitude of this life of December 20,  2020,  this Solstice Eve.

 

 

originally there was just the two pieces of cloth and then,  the small scraps of clothtalk thereon.  Those,  all so light and wispy.  The addition here of that final back layer of orange/gold cotton brought this one around to how Jude taught us to layer…harem cloth in the middle   (here it's the very thin piece of linen that was the back),  with the Invisible Baste,  all becoming ONE.  Could feel that today,  stitching,  so clearly.   And as i held them both,  i thought,  well,  Which Way?  but then thought….why do i think i need to     DECIDE?   Why not either,  letting the Cloths decide?    Some Invocations would be whispy…some not so much…

let the Cloth decide.  

Making these continues its Joyfullness

first,  the Fail.   Sweet Potatoe.   I had changed its water everyday and then forgot…2 days,  maybe even 3?   FAIL.

 

 

Season end.   a so so great Success!…..through 4 onslaughts of the Deer,   plants continued and never gave up.  More leaves,  more blossoms,  more peppers.    so…..PEPPERS!!!!!!!   YeS!!!!!!!   

Biden has nominated  NMex Respresentative Deb Haaland to be head of the Department of the

Interior

Interior….think of the meaning,  the Interior

Department of the Interior of this part of the north american continent.

Deb Haaland,   of Laguna Pueblo  New Mexico.  60 year old Native Woman  who traveled to Standing Rock in 2016 and took,  in the trunk of her vehicle  cooking utensils,  Green Chili Stew and  Tortillas.  to feed the People.

among so  much more,  she will oversee and CARE FOR more than 109 million acres of wilderness and 422 National Park Sites,  National Monuments,  wildlife refuges that safeguard  1,000 endangered species  and manage massive water projects in the West.

THIS is magnificant.   His other and maybe original choice was Tom Udall who served N. Mex for many years and who i have a great respect for.  But he chose Haaland.   This says SO MUCH.   The voice,  the heartbeat of the People   is Strong.  To say i am so happy is such an understatement.   i ran with the Goats…Tay…i ran in joyfulness.

 

the rainy overcast day did not allow for true color,  but that was ok.   At the end of the day,  when i thought everything was there that wanted to be,  i was drawn back to the bags….rummaging for who knew what and out came this very intense orange/gold/yellow to hold the Quiet of the others as back cloth.   it changed Everything.   

 

 

 

 

a Birth  Day  of sorts.   Working through Orange…the Sacral Chakra ,  without working.  just riding what ever came without grasping,  and really,  without even Knowing…just awareness….the words Acey gave…element water,  change, movement,  flow,  sensation, pleasure, emotion, need,  desire, sexuality,  the Shadow,  guilt,  duality and i add

animus anima….which is duality

and i guess…it was just Time.   and what Beauty Full Time it was/is.   

this Cloth.   the surprising Vertical placement of the central scrap….????????   But i woke in the dark cold morning and in the light of the flashlight,  my lamp,   i suddenly saw it.   EEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeand what…..a pulsing thread all the way back,  all the way back now 20 some years?,  to the day i shut down that second chakra ,  how i drew it….drew it in the form of a dried withered squash leaf….a self portrait of a cacooned or chrysalis self for who knew how long…the original drawing is somewhere at Alyssia's   and HERE

HERE  it appeared.   Speaking of Going. of Life,  of seeds,  germination, pollenation,  insects,  times/Lives, beginnings endings decomposition, feed,  soil,  life forms, begin again over and over and over  the movement of LIFE

from that day.    From that day.   to now.  here.   and how so much is reconciled and really,  joyous.

how the Agreement with the cloth…..to not Think,  but to just Do.   How it has brought me here….a Birth Day.   I am Me.

Happy Birthday,  me….happy birth day to you.

thank you,  Acey

 

 

Things that go on Privately in a Garden