Day 6. I glued these to a piece of printer paper. Light weight enough to be cut out and placed in the booklet maybe, or somehow on an insert page that isn't attached to the booklet. They COULD NOT be glued into the booklet today. I folded and tucked in the pages. Put all the collage things away. I won't look again until this evening. And i'm posting this this morning. instead of the end of the day.
Will go feed Goats and then this. All day. I need Cloth.
I should have taken the pic before cutting. a volunteer in the Wall Garden. I think was from a Curry Squash. A LOT of seeds a thick rind, not a lot of "meat", but in a stir fry tonight….good enough. Very good enough. and an errant snow pea vine had two of the most crisp and delicious snow peas Ever. I ate them on the spot….before taking a pic. Earth Feeds.
two days ago i would never have done this. The prompt was Plant a Tree. And without second thought away i went. The pattern is becoming to begin by having all the possibilities on the table. The folders of ones i found here, the majority from National Geographics, some from Long Ago that i recently realized i still had down in the tub at B. And the baggie from Acey, the envelope of larger pieces from her. On the table and i begin by going through them all. just looking, one by one at a clip. What this is doing is somehow allowing me to become familiar with what all's here and it's a lot, really, and there's becoming a sense of all of them. I think brain is cataloging. Even if i could never verbalize what i'd
seen when the looking is over. That's interesting to me in its self. With the prompt in mind, as i do this, i take out anything that might work and set aside. When the amount of possibilities seems right i stop and go through, really looking. finally choosing. As i said, today all this went without hesitation. AND without any concern how it might turn out. This is a BIG DEAL. The one thing i knew from the beginning, from reading the prompt was that i wanted to use the strips and squares from Day 2 as the leaves. Whether or not they "went" with the trunk, branches, Ground. I knew i wanted to use them. Tore them into leaf size. I knew she sent an acorn somewhere and went back to find it. Found. And again, without hesitation, i glued.
and Lo and Behold, i have a Tree. And it's coherent! Even if it isn't in my usual terms. It's extremely Pleasing to me. As i place things and glue, thoughts float in…wanting to give meaning, and i find self wanting to avoid that. To just let it be the image for now. All this. ALL THIS is such a surprise.
i spent the afternoon at the Wall Garden. I've taken a vacation…pretty much December from this. I'd weeded a lot and then just took a break. Today. What a surprise. That crazy grass, the clover, in the strawberries. Dense. I don't know what to do. or what to do for the future. I took down a bucket of manure and feed scrap. Weeded where it went and put it down. Looking, i have probably a minimum of 10 more buckets needed. Minimum. And i've decided to go to the "worm farm" around the corner again and get several big bags, like 40 lbs, of growing soil….that kind i got the first year with all the amazing things in it, i don't remember what all but like bat guano. A Lot of time and energy goes into that garden. This last summer we winged it and got those kind of results. I have surrendered to the understanding that the soil needs AMENDMenT. Today, the final last plastic bucket from Home Depot cracked and broke. So until i get new ones, i'll load a tarp and pull it down. There's no time to waste now. Planting begins the end of the month and February is SPRING.
the pic is of the Collard Trees. Wind had bent them over. loosened the t post that helped them. I pounded the post in as deep as i could and got ties from the dried tomatoe plants to secure them. it'll be ok for now. Ive never known Collard Trees before. How amazing…they ARE trees. Their "stem" is a trunk…wooden. The leaves that are there are tough and not so great for stir fry. I need to read. Always….need to read. Learn. I had imagined they would send up new shoots but not. They simply ARE what they ARE. Tangled in them is Emrie's cherry tomato plant. I ate a ripe one today. There are blossoms. and to the left, the sprawling Stevia. I think i remember it needs to be cut back to ground level? No rest for the wicked, right?
What a GREAT day!
i knew immediately, upon seeing for the first time, that she would be the first image. She is the "heathen child". I've talked about her here before. off and on over the years. I laid a bouquet of flowers at her feet. A bee came. To the flowers…. and to her.
and when i read the prompt ( i will not repeat here. Go to Sparklinglotusink.typepad.com nichobella) this too came clearly to mind. i thought i maybe should wait, but didn't want to. And so…two.
i worked 2 hours. It was difficult to make myself use the glue stick. I put them there, took them off. Tried to change them, thought about why i "couldn't". Questioned self about that. Taking away, putting back. and it also brought to mind other things. Someone asked if this is Fun? Yes. and maybe by these images it might not look like fun? and i thought about how i am.
so i thought about a lot of things. How Fun to me is somehow better labeled Pleasure. Which i do have a lot of. What's the difference, i wondered.
and then….my question to Acey. Without knowing "where it's going", how can pages be in a coherent order? These two very likely are Not in order, tho maybe they will prove to be. It's the thing i have about gluing things down.
i DID have fun. i had a completely mesmerized 2 hours of PLEASURE. I sit and look at them now and love them. They say so many things.
* Edit: i woke in the night and realized i didn't want to say what i did. it's not for me to judge anyone else's sense of anything, let alone their sense of fun. what i realized too is how much i still feel a need to defend my self when it comes to the ex. There's a lot of stagnant water under that bridge.
Morning. Day 2 of Acey's 30 Day Collage Challenge. Sparklinglotusink.typepad.com Nichobella. I followed the prompt. I have no idea what i might do other than follow prompts. So far, so good.
but it wasn't enough. So i found 2 more larger pics and finger tore and scissor cut those. Better. and Crow will create Order.
even though it was a magnificent day OutSide, i simply opened the door to let the day In and worked enough on this to secure the center
in place for the coming week. It's big. 20×22. Always think i want to work small. Doesn't often happen.
I have to work it on the table. Standing up. There are too many moving parts. it's awkward. but worked The center is invisibly basted. all that radiates out is secured with pins. Now i can go.
this Cloth and the collage work are kin.
on New Year's Eve, as we ate, there was a LOUD POP kind of sound. and then more sounds. I said it might have been someone's tire blowing, them crashing into the road bank of Old Olive. Alyssia said a tree. So i walked the Doe Goat Forest to see and yes. a tree. I don't know why this is. They snap at earth level. This one snapped and fell, crashing onto others nearby. It rests at an angle. I squatted there. just seeing. breathing. Walked back and over to the B garden where here, in the little bamboo, a katydid chose to spend it's final moments. If you click you can see clearly. There is Arugula, self seeded, sharp and tangy. I eat it there. Leaf by leaf. Many things thrive on Tazmeena's grave. There's no sign of the rhubarb but i feel sure that in spring there will be shoots. The daisys continue to bloom.
on the way back up i sat a while in the hammock. Just being there. This rock from Lake Superior, Michigan. The guitar strings wound together and a piece of copper, hammered with a red bead.
a quiet. gentle day. Sun. Warmth. Easiness.
i had wanted to collage the Whole wall cloth. I'd found a couple folders of Pics. But i got this far and knew i couldn't. The weight of the canvas causes a thing to go on with my wrist when i try to penetrate it with straight pins. And i couldn't find the CENTRAL image. I'd found it yesterday, but gone again. So i take it as….enough. For now.
Alyssia came to go fill the propane tanks. Emrie stayed here and taught me how to play this board game that was a home school Christmas present. She doesn't really know, but also doesn't know she doesn't really know. Once again…Your turn, old nana. My turn now. We are very into taking turns.
I cleaned. I cleared the Everything Table and it became an Eating table. the battery went over to shelf in front of the Looking Cloth. The books stacked next to me. The bench on the other side of the table cleared of Cloth Baskets which were stacked in front of the door to the back room in the bathroom. I strung the Beauty Full strand of pennants that Acey had sent a while ago. It felt festive and spacious. Fed everyone OutThere and put Talkie to bed. Set the big pot of water to boil and fired up the oven for the baked potatoes and the Green bean casserole. Put together a BIG SALAD of everything. New year's Eve at the old nana's. They arrived shortly after dark.
It went as i'd deviously planned. I'd gotten a small steak for Julian in case he might have issues with the crab legs. HOPING he had issues with the crab legs. He did. and the steak got made first so he could begin as i dropped the first round of legs into the pot. More for Alyssia and me. Emrie ate a little i think only because of the melted butter. Julian ate one. Alyssia and i ate a LOT. We ate and then we hung out. Emrie sang songs and she and i painted our nails with my water brush taking turns…her: Now your turn. Now my turn. Your turn. her favorite ritual lately.
they left about 9. We'd celebrated by the light of 7 flashlights and i clicked them all off. Sat a while. The lights had reminded me of being in India 50 years ago…peace corps…Diwali, the Festival of Lights. I googled it. "usually lasting five days and celebrated during the Hindu Lunisolar month Kartika. One of the most popular festivals of Hinduism, Diwali symbolizes the spiritual "victory of light over darkness, good over evil, and knowledge over ignorance.'..wikipedia"
a sign. my epiphany glowed in my mind in neon.
got the calendar on a cleared space on the table. This page is typical. There's a lot. More than ever of my life so far. Too much for late and tired. And i thought…Diwali…5 days. OK. I can take 5 days this time. Go through it slow and in the light of the epiphany. "an Aha! moment. As a literary device, epiphany is the moment when a character is suddenly struck with a life changing realization which changes the rest of the story. Often an epiphany begins with a small, everyday occurrence or experience."
What if it's all just Evolution? All the things that feel so difficult on the Planet today, all symptomatic manifestations of simple Evolution. Homo sapiens being just still at the beginning. Even Eckhart Tolle said "evolve or die". Maybe that's it. And it is so simple but so HUGE, so beyond conceptual thought that it all feels so imminent and "personal". What if it's the story of Earth. Whether we as a species can understand our Place in the whole of things. Maybe we will. Maybe we won't. It remains to be seen. And that pings off another Sign. One of the essences Acey sent is Sight Unseen. !!!! I find it on the altar and put 2 drops under my tongue. Somehow it all is different now. The WORK is to understand the work of Steadfast. It's too big for anything else. But learning Steadfastness….this i can do. This i WILL do. I can walk the days learning from the Mycelium under me…asking, listening, doing. and in the company of all who come here and in the company of all who will go too, Sight Unseen. There is a great relief, a great opening of light. Maybe humankind will. Maybe it won't. Earth however will continue its Evolving. It's January 1, 2020. 20/20. hindsight.
I Love.
a regular straight pin
out behind this travel trailer over to where we turn on the water hose for Goat Bowls, the ground has become green. Standing, looking down, it's just green, or, with my eyes. Alyssia's eyes might see more. I will ask her. But to mine, just a wash of green over the ground that was just dirt. I squatted to day, for some reason, and was amazed. Not a moss of some kind, but an entire forest of small plants…two kinds living in the same space equally. And these are not seedlings, destined to grow larger, but fully mature plants. One very fernlike. it's astounding. There they Are. Taking their place according to ritual of season. How Beauty Full is this, and for This, i vow to remain Steadfast.
