I want something that gives the Sense of the Oaks here, Sierra Nevada Live Oak. Filling in with stitching would make them seem heavy. They are large and sprawling, but there is no sense of heaviness. They are very Spirit filled. I'd like to find a way to express that. It's taking time.
anticipating change, Earth change, in the next couple weeks we move into RAIN season, hopefully. Ordinarily. So, i do those Earth things, work to finish Planting, finish painting that will preserve wood. Rake out and clean sleeping quarters. Hose off and dry tarps that may be needed. High Energy.
And all the while there is the pull to Cloth, the pull to making. And when i am at the end of yet another day, just turning out scraps eases it. Pulling them out and seeing them together, FEELING them together, eases it.
this pic was yesterday…a looking day. Today i planted everyone i 'd gotten at the Plant Sale. Except for those that are for Campsite A. And the two trees. These beds are about 4 ft wide….am not sure how long it all is, but long enough. At the gate end will be the Pomegranate Tree. At the Second Buck Forest end will the the Fig. I began the hole for the Fig today. It'll take time. While i was planting, a bee came to the bloom of the Penstemon. As i worked , digging and placing stones, sifting through the soil, giving water, removing them from their pots, I tried to send my thoughts out, to them, but also to the whole Place where the garden is. Like to hover in the Air. I thought them as thoughts but also as images….some of the moment, as when a plant was removed from the pot and set into it's space in the earth, i imagined what it might feel like, the tender young roots touching different soil. Some, how i might imagine them in years to come, how they would have settled and have become Emrie and Julian's world. I thought about how, soon , the Rains will come and they will establish themselves and then in not long, the Rain will go and they will bloom here for the first time. I spent a lot of time with images of that.
When it was done, i just sat, on the earth, feeling it. Sensing it. What had just happened. There were a lot of clouds floating in the sky, a soft blue day, and i thought of how Cynthia wishes….Gentle Day….and it was. From me to them, from them to me. We were Gentle. With deep and strong Intention, both ways. It's a Love Garden. It's dark now and i am in this little house around the corner from them. I think of how it's their first night. I'll go, first thing in the morning.
sitting at the resting place above B i look over at the small clearing. This pic doesn't show the vibrance. Too bad, because it's quite amazing. It's where the Old Cowboy's mother's lawnchair, rocker sits. On it the cardboard box that contains the Old Cowboy's glasses, slippers and dentures. He had wanted to wear these for his cremation. Which he did when they came for him. I thought they would just leave them on, but i got a call from the funeral home a couple days later asking me to come pick them up. They've been in this box since that day. Taped closed, on the tape, Robert it says.
If you double click it you can imagine a little better
Joanne sent a box and in it was a baggie of Frogs. Large enough, bright enough to not get lost OutSide. Work was happening and Emrie who is feeling sick with something, played with them. Placing them here and there….making ribbet ribbet sounds, hopping them. Look at her back. It's wide and strong.
This one, was once Emrie's age.
After some hours of Doing, i watched them, through the window because i came InSide because Emrie said she wanted Milk which means she is ready to try for a nap. Which happened and she was fast asleep so i watched them out the window, two women working to finish a gate. This is what we are today. Two women finishing a gate…exchanging thoughts about how it might go, revising and continuing. Two Women. But what i was seeing is a daughter who was 16 who had a daughter child. And now there they are. A 40 something woman and a 30 year child daughter who is no longer a child and is just a woman.
On a Hill. With Goats. in California, 2019. The Old Nana, in the "house" with a sleeping 4th generation of same.
There is no Fire here today.
you do certain things, that just are an Urge. From the Interior Self, that says….Do This. Crow wears a cape of the Glennis Moon Silk.
When is this Cloth from? I don't remember, but i did remember…something….and went in search of it.
I think it's good sometimes to want to Give Up. To be afraid there's not enough left to Go With. And to SAY it. Out Loud. To wait a while. And then….it all sifts down into Place and you realize that you DO have what is being Asked For. And you WANT TO. You remind your Self that you were born for This. Everything aligned and you were born for this. And you feel even a gentleness for it. Gentleness. Cynthia says…Gentle Day….and that's it. A gentleness.
RE: VEHICLE
It's too long a story and i am tired and even if i weren't tired, the story is too long. But Bill, my old employer, who became friend, whose mother Alz B i was with to the end, Bill., whose wife Nelia was first owner of this old Honda….found the part on Ebay. There was bidding and as of 6pm we
GOT IT
a brand new part.! so unless there is some from Mercury in retrograde, ALL wiLL BE WELL! The part will Come.
Jenny and her man came. They brought metal Feeder Racks for the buck Goats. Which might or might not work. They finished a gate. Alyssia stayed home…her body unable to participate. I missed Emrie and Julian. Maybe tomorrow because things just Go on. Sometimes one way and sometimes another.
I THANK everyone who put energy into my dilemma. How great that felt, feels, the Love….
and the Maria Fire is 20% contained.
I woke at around 2 something. Sound of the Owl speaking. Close. I lay there, seeing in my mind, Talkie on her branches. A sitting duck. Listened a while then got up and put on shoes and a sweatshirt. The FatMax flash/spotlight, me, Tay go out into the cold. Walk to the end of the house space here and shine the light into the trees. I try to encourage Tay to bark or at least run some. She doesn't. Does not respond to things in trees. We turn off the light and stand. After moments, again, the Owl Speak. Repeat. 3 times. It's cold so we quit and go in. By now, i am wide awake. I don't want to, but i compulsively look on the phone to check the Maria Fire and a video spontaneously begins of a horse. People are trying to load it in a trailer too small, but i guess all they had. The Fire is OrangeRed just in the background, the horse rearing, it's shrill scream. And i think it was this horse that did it. Suddenly, i thought that Everything is just all too much. This morning i waited for Alyssia to call. She goes down to near Fresno on Thursdays for a class. Leaves the kids with her brother in Sacramento. Arrives back here, home around 2 am. So i wait until she has recovered a little to tell her that i can go pick up the car today when she can give me a ride. The mechanic had called yesterday to say that Car still does not pass emissions standard. Has been there since Tuesday. They did a full tune up but found the problem to be a carburetor insulator. He had looked everywhere he knew and could not find this part. 1986 model. That runs pretty great, uses NO gas. So she called and we talk a little, she's tired but will come in a while. Says that as long as i am TRYING, "they" will give me extensions if i provide the paperwork. At some point, if there is no hope, there is an appeal process.
we pick up the car. He's a very nice person. But keeps his professional distance, smiling just slightly. If i can find the part, he will put it in. Ok. I say….I DO have a 1983 Toyota pickup. Here he does smile before he looks off into the distance.
I stop at Lakeside Market which has electricity again…5 day shut off….and get some FOOD. I'd not planned on Car being gone so long, so had relied a lot on Talkie's eggs.
Pull in here to the parking spot at the Gate Bottom of Campsite A. Get out and walk a few steps toward the gate and there, in plain sight is this piece of cloth. It's silk. I'm sure a Glennis. Lying there, at the gate. The second pic is more the true color.
Just there. Perfectly there. I stare. ??????
It's There. as if to protect. it's long edge aligned with the gate, pointing out, to where any fire might come from.
Earlier, i'd thought….i'll just give up. But then, as always, thought follows….How? How do you Give UP? What exactly do you DO?, to give up? I have never had an answer to that question. And here, a piece of Cloth, from WHERE? HOW? i have no idea but….it's just there. perfectly aligned with Everything. So…ok. we just go. ok.
One story told in Three Voices. Earth, Spirit, a species. human. Three voices, same Story.
All this Cloth comes as unexpected. Sewing in the Oak Trees, the message to go find scrap and the scrap would be butterflies that would speak of Spirit. The human form becomes in the middle ground between Earth and Spirit. Many scraps chosen but only these remain. Not chosen, but adamant that they be here.
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MUCH LOVE to ALL, this very BeautyFull day
the Mullien that just appeared. And Grew. Next season, there will be the spire of blossom.
Alyssia had a dental appointment that turned into a biopsy of something in her throat, by her tonsils. Just that today and a referral to an ENT person in Sacramento. The kids were here. Julian, the 10 year old 50 year old man….and he brought his Pokeymon stuff
that he is determined that i can learn, and i probably will end up learning, against my will, but there are these two plastic coin things and i asked him if he ever heard of Tiddley Winks and he said no, so we made up a game and made marks on this Table that is the Everything Table…formica ….that we can write on with pencil and then clean away, made x's and lines for points in our made up Tiddly Wink game, kept score and he won by a longshot and we looked up Tiddley Winks on Amazon and sure enough. And then even over there on UTube. And all through, Emrie exerted her SELF into it all even tho she had no idea what was going on
So i was late, giving Water to the Wall Garden and the plant people at B. But they had waited for me and Tay.
the more i Look, the more i See. The three small beds in the B Garden are ready now. Some of the Plants that chose to grow there remain. This one, i spent a lot of time with. I smile, because i think of it as ART. How skewed that thought is. It is so beyond ART. Its Beingness….how long did it take to arrive at this present and perfect iteration?
the more i look, the more i See. The more i See, the more i Love. The more i Love, the more i Open. The more i Open, the more i See.
