windthread

i touched the InkTense pencils to the paper,  then the brush and water and  moved things…softening the marks,  bleeding them out.  For nothing.  No reason,  but  just to watch  it happen.  Began the day this way.

Jenny came and for the first time Ever,  we did nothing.  We sat in the sun and went through the shared rolodex of our minds.   It wandered,  back to when she was little to now in her own children in the grand children,  old homes,  ways of living,  Fathers, what to plant down in the meadow here,  worming for the Buck Goats,  and intertwined was the glaring fact that Talkie was not here.  Talkie is ALWAYS in the middle of everything,  she chases Jenny in the truck up the Hill.  She was not here.  I hadn't seen her this morning.  Didn't really realize that until  sitting with Jenny,  out there,  in the sunlight,  and no Talkie.  I called her and called her…nada.   so it shifted.  How to feel about no talkie,  because that had been the possibility all along with the Free Range,  and then the conversation would go into some other realm the seed for the meadow,  how i used to cook vats of Indian Food,  why not now?   interspersed by long moments of silence and then me calling Talkie again.   Well,  we would say,  we knew it might go this way and then to my feeling kind of at a loss with the Cloth work and  back to yesterday and how it was so

soft

and on to whether we would free range chickens of the future and at that point….there was Talkie.  Just right there!  2 hours late, but right there and her most excellent Talkie self…?    Where had she been?

Jenny left.  we'd accomplished nothing.  Didn't even make the effort.   Not sure how this feels.

 

 

my grandson Jeff.  Alyssia's brother,  my daughter Jenny's son.   His Woman, T and their 2 year old daughter Brinley to whom this day was dedicated.   They live in Sacramento.   A Birthday.  She and Emrie are 3 months apart.   In this pic,  Jeff and T are setting up the rock painting table.  He had his times,  but i can say,  with deep conviction,  that he is the best Dad ever.  He is now living his dream.   He has a FAMILY.   His theme song  since he was a little boy  would be the Barney song.   I love you,  you love me.  We're a happy fam i ly.   He's Got it.   Finally got it.  Bless him,  like really, Please,  Universe,  Bless him.  Bless them.

 

missing from the pic are me and Jenny's man.  Otherwise,  Us ,  minus as usual my son,  his woman and their 6 year old daughter who live in Colorado.   on the right is Fate.  Who is doing really very well,  finding his own particular Way in this world.   You also see Julian with his sling.  He broke his arm two days ago.  New skateboard incident.  The look on his face is often the look on his face to me.  I love him.  He loves me.  We do not find it easy.  I don't know why.  My challenge.

 

 

This is the Feather River.    This park was completely under water 2 years ago when the spillway of the Oroville Dam broke and flooded.    It took two years but the park is back with many many wheelchair accessible trails.   The river is a Salmon Run.

Today we saw many spent,  dead salmon at the bottom.   Washing to the shore.  They come.  spawn.  die.  Feather River.

i emailed Marti this morning,  asking that she use her Super Power to find me a good pic of my Collaged Kitchen Wall somewhere in the archives.  The wall in Polvadera.    Collage,  Acey,  Nichobella post.   

She found many but first on the links was not the kitchen wall,  but MORE.    If you have the inclination….

post of  6~15~2011  ….the Unexpected.   And in same keeping with that….again,  so much,  the Unexpected.  How things Spiral.  Spiral Out and In and back out and back in,  over YEARS ,  but remain True to the Whole of It.   It's One Journey,  making its way.  

so i don't have paper images for collage.   The one piece of paper above was from a National Geographic.  Emrie has mixed feelings about it.   She likes crackers.  She says Parrot Bird.  She studies the image and understands that someone is feeding the parrot a cracker.  She likes that part.  But something makes her uneasy.  She has no language for that.

next to the Uneasy Parrot is a scrap that came with a batch from Jude.  And above,  just pieces from the basket that were on top.  What my eye liked.  At first glance.  So i stitched them to a piece of paper. I don't have any glue,  either.

But in the doing of this,  while Emrie was asleep in NAP TIME,  i got lost somewhere else and that's worth the world,  to get lost in somewhere else.

the base cloth is Deb Lacativa's.    It set this into Motion.  and rocked me all day long.

What a miracle Color is.

I got a call yesterday from Parker,  Arizona.  From our community's sister,  Peggy McG.    She was in town to buy supplies and go to the laundromat,   and so had phone connection.

SHE IS THERE!!!!!

Parker is a town just outside of   Quartzsite,  Arizona  where since 2008,  the Bob Wells  RTR,  Rubber Tramp Rendezvous, occurs yearly.

I don't know when Peggy and I began watching his UTubes together,  but we did it for a long time.  Me in New Mexico,  her in Minnesota.   She clicked in to me because of how i left Michigan,  in 1989,  in a 1973 Ford Econoline Van.   Went to Oregon, Arizona,  back to Michigan, and on to New Mexico….initially determined to live in the Van,  Fern,  Forever.  I didn't.  And I never did get to Quartzsite either,   which was my second Intention…to the yearly Gem and Mineral Swap Meet  there.  I ended up,  over and over,  holding down "some kind of fort" in various Somewheres.

Peggy,  however,  DID IT.  She is THERE!  Last summer,  she methodically divested her Self of Stuff.  Sold her House.  Bought a Van,  had it fitted out,  and set out By HerSelf  and  i get this call.  

I am SO BEYOND HAPPY FOR HER and vicariously for me….she's doing it for both of us.  Just am SO HAPPY!

U Tube.  Bob Wells,  Cheap RV Living    in general.   2019 RTR,  November 9th ~ 20th  specifically.  He will be doing Vlogs from there daily.   8 years ago,  when the RTRs began there were 40 people in attendance.  This year 5,000.  They camp on BLM land and offer workshops and hands on work for  those wanting to live on the road.  It's extremely beauty FULL.  Go look.

I think everyone who reads here has a home.  I have a home of sorts.  But still….it's just THRILLING to imagine living like this.  Taking the minimum,  WakingUp in the vast Beauty of national forest campgrounds in a very small HOME that has everything a Home might need.  Being  FREE.   FREE.   She took her sewing machine.

I love you Peggy.  Thank you so much for it ALL and yes,  i do hope you make it over this way in the next Soon time.

LOVE LOVE LOVE BIG LOVE to you!!!!!

 

this is Carefree Way.  my physical address.  Which is required for some Things,  even tho it means Nothing.  See it?  to the right?  the dirt road?  But….maybe it doesn't mean nothing.  Google maps can find it.   Up from here is the neighbor Dave.  And up from him is a travel trailer and i don't know.  But that's it for Carefree Way,  on "our side".  Across Carefree Way are the people who own land   "over there".  They have a real road at the front of their Places.   They use Carefree Way at the bottom of their Places.

 

 

this is the meadow.  Next to campsite A .   Alyssia's Place,  where the wall Garden is.    It's twice of what you can see here in this pic.  Native grass grows there.  Which is Beauty Full and flammable.  

 

 

 

on the outside of that fence.  Today i planted two of  these.   Deer ate branches of Alyssia's Asian Pear.  They don't live here,  the deer,  but just now and then go through and in their now and thening,  they ate branches from her pear tree.    On the hill slant there outside the fence grasses grow that are Fire Food.  And so.  The experiment.  What might not feed fire and also not be eaten by deer?   

it says   "excellent  nectar source for bees and humming birds. and not that interesting to deer."    Not that interesting to deer…i smile.

Native to Australia.  Flowers late summer through spring.

There is so much to do here.  I think….enough for 7 Generations.  and it relieves me.   I do this much.  I start it.  Just this much.  As much ,  as i can.  Just as much as i can.

A Hawk sat.  In the tree,  just over from the Feed Shed.   I hadn't seen Talkie for a while.  I wandered and looked and called and no Talkie.   But then there…she WAS,  behind the Doe Goat Shelter,  doing her thing.  

i cut the bristles of a stiff bristle brush.  Flat and at an angle.  I mute the initial colors  with the brush…softening them,  blending them,  sometimes to nothing at all.

 

When i got the Inktense Pencils,  i looked at their bottom ends that i supposed would be a clue as to their color.   Not so much at all.  So i did this.   On muslin.   Being in love with mute and barely there,  i gave self a little map to what i might get from them.  

i used  this today when trying to find a way to say…..OAK TREE.   OAK  TREE,  thick and Strong but ethereal.    How do you do that?    I began with Paynes Gray.  Everything begins and ends with Paynes  Gray

 

Continuing,   too long,   both Patty and Michelle cannot comment here.  Both are very much missed as community sisters.  Both are Blogspot people.  If anyone can think of anything they might try to correct this,  please get in touch with them.  It's not self correcting.  Michelle has said that there are 5 Typepad blogs she is no longer able to leave comments with and that includes  Jude,  Spirit Cloth.

Michelle at MsUncertaintyPrinciples.blogspot.com

Patty at Listentotheroad.blogspot.com

Please help if you can.

Love and Love,  and the small bats are flying,  such incredibly WonderFull creatures swooping in great spirals so low and so close and so lovingly just overhead.  There is great Tenderness in this day.

 

 

 

 

 

Today is November 8.   I'd thought to write a LOT about how i realize things about the Fire in Paradise.  The imprint on me.  The imprint on Everyone anywhere near.  There's a lot to write.  A lot to feel.   It was this day last year when Paradise began burning  and the fire kept moving,  uncontained,  in this direction and we watched and listened to  all the info there was about what was happening and then on the 11th,  we fled to the Fairgrounds in Gridley.  Because it was all so imminent.    It didn't get this far but so easily could have.   I was going to write a lot about the imprint of this.  The cellular imprint.   But then things went how they did.  Alyssia has a class that she drives 4 hours to somewhere around Fresno,  i'm not sure exactly,  every Thursday.  Ordnarily she takes the kids and they stay with an old Navy friend and her family.  Drives  back through the night.    How it goes,  like a Fire,  the whatever it is that burdens her body…Lupus….there was a flare and she was laid low and her arm couldn't work and then she got email from her Medical that a space was set up for a dental appointment today to pull two teeth that had been done something to when still deployed,  out in the ocean somewhere near Korea,  this in Sacremento which would have meant a lot of confusion.  So the kids stayed here.   

i love Julian,  the 10 year old.  He knows that.   And defends against it for whatever reason i don't know.  He and I are one thing.  A work in progress.

But Emrie….Emrie is my Solace.  My total Pleasure and Joy.  Her instinct is fine honed.  She is made for This.

Her beauty Full curls,  just after a shampoo are exquisite and the next day begin to dread of their own accord…she wanted to play beauty shop this morning,  she combed  my hair and i tried with hers,  we took turns and i ended up braiding some little black girl braids in the back  and we went down to the B Garden and gave water.  double click to see the WATER,  in it's beauty.

 

 

i look at these.   The images,  the figures,  the beings,  in the cloths i end up making are images of FEELINGS.  Not me.  Not anyone.  But FEELINGS that i think are maybe universal?    The first here…how it feels to me when i am alone and with my Self in this Place,  the Freedom of being with one's Self,   merging.

The second…at an interface with all the rest of what life is…the confusion and helplessness there,  where it's impossible to know what to do next

tonight there are small BATS.  Fluttering.   Just overhead.  I'd never seen this before.  Everything feels so ify,  and so Beauty Full,  all at the same time