windthread

Laptop is not wotking

i have watched this one for so long.   It's on the folded over Wall 

every morning,  throughout days,  late evening,  i looked.   I could not hear the story.   Today,  i did.   Just some,  that it's about the body of the Earth.   I got the Inktense Pencils and used  Ionian Green,  Baked Earth,  Payne's Grey,  Sienna Gold,  Iron Green,  Iron Blue and Deep Indigo.  It was Good.  There needs to be more.   I  went down to do the evening feed just now and walking back,  a Sudden sky filled with

Crows

Calling,  i called back,  Around and Around they flew,  gliding   just over head.  CROWS!  maybe 30 or 40  CROWS!   They are gathering…here..like they do,  to exchange information,  to reinforce bonds.   but   HERE….i called back,  with all my Heart to tell them i will do whatever i can to make it good for them here….

I am grateful.  

Emrie's end of the House Altar.   Her small things that she can move around,  move off the altar,  onto the table,  but then put back.   At the wall side,  there are still some of  "my"  things,  but less as time goes on.  She needs space.

 

the rest of the altar holds many things,  some all the time.  some come and go.  then come back.  go again.  She can touch these things but only lightly.   she honors this…amazingly well for  a 2 year old.   but it's changing.  I was cooking,  my back to her as she looked at the new stones,  rocks…..the  little czech water vase still there from the day before and out of the corner of my eye i saw movement and turned to see her very carefully putting the brush in and out….very carefully painting her nails with the water.   Much later,   i noticed something else.   There on the  rock from Acey,   her little agate lizard.  She'd moved the two pine needles over.  Just a little.  Carefully.   She was back on the other side of the table by then  and saw me notice.  We made eye contact and i raised my eyebrows.   Her gaze held steady and she shrugged her shoulders,  a soft smile.   We shared no words and went on with the day.

 

which do we choose?   as in   which is real or,  most real?  which is how it IS?   or,  are both?  

Do we say….the second is the real.  The first is just a moment at Sunrise,  but only because of the particular slant of light

Maybe this is not a good example.   But it was presented this morning.  How is it we choose the way we experience the world,  this Life?   In it's most Possible sense?  or its most unchallenging?

An article popped up,  wouldn't you know,  New York Times   Do Plants Have Something To Say?  by Ellie Shechet who speaks of and interviews an Australian Scientist,  Monica Gagliano.   8~26~ 2019 .  Toward the end,  there is a conversation with Robin Wall~Kimmerer.    when asked…."a state of such openness to the conversations of other beings that you can hear them"  Asked directly if she had experienced this,  she is reluctant.   "Suffice it to say i have had experiences of intense focus and attention with plants where I came away knowing something I didn't know before,  and its quite incredible.  You fee like,  Wow,  where did that come from".

she speaks once with the voice of her native heritage.  then shifts to the voice of the SUNY professor.

Why are we so afraid,  or suspect,  of the possibility that there is a great and mysterious Planetary Intelligence that now,  being threatened in the most ultimate way by human beings ,  that it would do all It can to reach out,  to make Contact?  We have believed for generations in a religious myth that states there is one god and a heaven of crowns of jewels and a hell of fire forever.   We believe we are living a "democracy"   where there are rich and poor,  where there are human beings and CHILDREN being incarcerated for NOTHING other than choosing Life and we look away,  it's too hard.

but,  WAIT!

what am i doing here?

i'm not sure.  i'm not sure at all.

 

 

 

That night,  10, 12,  whatever many years ago,  still so new to awareness of….blogs….i came to Spirit Cloth.  I looked.  read.  stared at the screen,  saw a place for 

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and could not believe my eyes.   Eventually,  i found my courage and typed it in.   I said something like….i wander down  this road and see this house,  its windows alight with a soft glow.  Inside,  women sit stitching.  It's as if i've looked for this place all my life.  I stand,  looking in,  wanting to be a part of this.   And Jude,  in her inimitable way said something like,  Well, you're here.  

Acey was one of those women.  I think she was there from the beginning of Jude's blogging.  Long before i arrived.  I came to know her more during Jude's online interactive workshops and then through a blog she no longer has.  She has a profound DEEP Knowledge of Place,  Earth,  Plant Spirits that live in her Gardens and the woodland.  With them she co~creates Essenses "vibrational/electrical (energetic)  remedies that heal and balance the subtle bodies and general atmosphere."  Her presence online comes and goes.  You've read her words here in comments.  She is deeply Knowledgable and beyond articulate.  She is Joyous.  When beginning making the Cloth of the Plant Spirit,  writing about that on Aug 30 post,  writing about Asking,  Asking the plants here to teach me how to live,  The initial Ask was plain.  Help me.  And somewhere in a comment she mentioned how she had long ago sent me Joyous Warrior for the land in New Mexico.   so…i asked again.  Joyous Warrior,  for now,  that i feel i have become ready to Learn. 

Joyous Warrior arrived.  Accompanied by two others in Essense form and many plant gifts,  2 stones.  This is how they were packed.  Just this was so much enough.

 

 

 

 

There is no plan.  I will just ASK.   Ask this Hill and the familiars from her Place.  Listen.  Maybe write about it here?  or maybe that won't be possible.  I have no idea.  But this is how We have begun.   I took the Magic Diaries Cloth,  the package,  Out at First Light to the Young Manzanita on the hill that overlooks B,  the point that is central to all three campsites here.  Spread it out and unpacked the box.  Then sat.

Do i go on?  or no,  ?,  i think it's ok. 

Without Any  Forthought at all…..

i uncapped Joyous Warrior and put 2 drops on the place of pulse of my left wrist,  recapped,  rubbed it in with index finger of right hand.

 

Two stones were included in the package.   I picked up what i identified as a Doing stone a tool,  with my left hand,  the hand of Imagining.    Then the imagining stone with my right hand,  the hand of doing.  and sat again.

 

That was yesterday and as i've thought about it today,  it's a clear answer to that Asking of mine…of How to live,  how to have the Energy to live as i know i can,  as benefits the Whole.   Just this much would be enough

Acey….any thoughts would be so loved.  Thank You,  beyond Thank You

pacific gas and electric   PG&E,  the huge utility company,   has,  in response to the Camp Fire of last year,  gone forward with it's plan to cut electricity during periods of high fire risk when  weather conditions of heat,  lo humidity and WIND present.  This would be now.  They shut down part of Butte County.   Will restore it maybe tomorrow.  All that this meant to me here on this Hill  was again,  a Dark Night.  Dark.  Completely Dark.  No vague glow from the distance.  Just Night.  It's very Beauty Full.

 

 

how it went.  Equinox is Loved to me.  Signaling the movement into the Season that I find hard.  the Tipping point.  I am so dependent on SUN.

today, the oddest of days,  i needed to get to the Post Office for a package from Acey,  that would have been better gotten Saturday or even yesterday,  but i couldn't   so today and for whatever,  WHAT EVER reason,  today was also TIME for the laundromat.   I looked on the calendar and it was March 2.   when i last went.  I do laundry by hand and that's kind of ok but not really.  So  i loaded the bags.  You see them above in Martine,  the "stroller" that Martine the woman gifted for Emrie's  birth.  Martine the stroller has become a multipurpose Being.  Emrie no longer Needing a stroller,  but sometimes really loving a stroller during Goat Feed.  I use Martine the stroller to haul my groceries up this Hill.    Today,  i used her to get the bags of laundry Down the Hill.  

Laundry is an issue.  If anyone remembers from back in N Mex,   when i cleaned for Bill and Nelia,  i did laundry.  Crisp sheets.  Pillow Case.   clothes secondary,  but close.   

so i don't know and i don't want to spend any time trying to know,  but what it is is that i DID it.  I WENT to the laundromat and washed all these months of stuff.   It's Ready for the Turning.  and there is a vow to never let it go this far again,  but…..i might.

I am FULL of tons of FEELINGS of all kinds.    Equinox.  The tipping Into.  How the mundane can be kind of sacred

 

 

 

it was International Day of Peace.

It was on the calendar,  the Butterfly Calendar.  It said Church.   Just that word.  Church.   We'd looked around the internet and read about the Unity Church here in Oroville.  You can google it.  It sounds great and so we chose it as the first effort.  You might remember back a while when i talked about how we watched Emrie and her love of people,  human activity,  how she gets so happy when there's  "foot traffic"  on her street,  people setting out to get their drugs for time being,  how she waves and is all happy.  And how Alyssia and i talked about her living such a small life, really,  her house,  this Hill,  grocery, gas station.  She is an extrovert and LOVES  things,  like she loved the evacuations,  both times….the activity,  the many people.  And we thought about needing to give that to her.  So,  Church came to mind.  Reading all the aftermath of the Fire in Paradise,  it's the Churches that continue to provide for people in All ways.  

so we went.  we met up there.   Tay waited in the car.   What do i want to tell here?

We were New.   Different.   We signed in the guest book and made name tags for ourselves.  Stuck them to our chests.  Were greeted by many with great warmth and hugs.  Emrie was Beamed Upon which she took in in her Expansive way….she is such a Gracious Being,    The service began with singing and a piano and it surprised her…her eyes got wide and she beamed and said Music!  and i stood her on her chair so she could see and when the congregation began to sing together,  she BLOOMED and BEAMED and swayed and her hands rose up into those old movements of when she was an infant and we wondered if  it was a sign she might be on "the spectrum",  her hands…wrists spinning,  hands and fingers twirling in complicated Mudras

and when it was time for the Sermon,  or Talk,  or whatever they call it,  the woman who had introduced herself to us came and led Emrie out.   She went.  Carrying her bag of stuff.  Diaper Pullups,  a couple disney figures.    When Alyssia called,  they said, yes.  They had child care.  Ok.  Emrie was the only child.  We had imagined a room of little ones,  little Peaceful ones,  playing together.

The sermon was about Ancient Texts.   I won't talk about this cause it's not worth it,  but…tho nice,  had complete reference to the Bible.  AND how other ancient texts repeat such similar teachings,  but still the bible. 

we won't go again.  And i think.  What was it we were imagining?   What kind of Church do we Imagine?  It's a great thought.  I like it.   What if we could become a Church.   I think how Jaime told me about the Church of the Old Mermaids.  What if we,  Alyssia,  Emrie and I could be a Church.  What would that BE?

am going to think about that.

And it will include Days of Peace and Greta Thunberg will be one of our Saints and we will DRUM and not need to whisper and sing loud and sway.  We will say Peace,  but not a Peace at all Cost.  We will be a little or a lot wild.  I think in my old age i long for Paganism.  Long for it.  Here goes.

 

how was it?,  some hundreds of years ago…?  and that's a guess…how was it that they  rolled or slid,  broken  loose from the granite breast  to form this configuration here on this Hill?    it happened no where else.   Behind them is the even much larger form of the Grandmother Rock,  that one that's larger than a volkswagon beetle.   How?   What might the story be?  There IS a story.  Today i stayed with this,  through all the gate making,  the kids,  the give and take of human endeavor,  i was in the middle of all that,  but i was more,  here.   With these forms.  In the morning,  i'll go again and sit.

 

 

only in this One Place.   This uhhhh,  This……gathering.  Good enough for the moment.  This gathering of boulders.   The only place on this Hill.   What happened?  that they broke loose and rolled and gathered?   

We,  Tay and I,  sat there long.   But not asking anything,  just sitting.   Being among.   Just a ways to the right are the fallen boughs of an Oak.  I thought it to be the entire tree,  but no,  just a large part of it.  I have no way to feel about that.  yet.  so i

don't go there….too close.  

it's the End of Summer.  Two Rains so far.  

at the End of this day went down to fill the Doe Goat Water.   Finished and across the way,  Nogal is at his fence.  Standing.  Go there and he is still.  His eyes.  He is still and i touch him,  caress him,  scratch around and under his horns,  down the side of his face,  under…chin,  his beard.  Back up,  his forehead,  around his eyes and i look into them,  his eyes,  he looks back into my eyes our eyes look at our eyes.   I touch his lips and he so so softly nibbles my fingers.   I reach in and scratch his neck and he stands so still.  Wanting.  When i asked.  When i asked the Plant People here…help.  Help me know how to live.  It included this.  How to make Buck Love part of the day.  I asked for Energy….so i could live how i need to live and this is part of it.  To go out.  Late.  Give love to a buck Goat who is so ready to receive.  He was such a baby,  once.  No longer.  But knows love.

It's all just so much,  this life.  I'll sleep with his scent on my hands.