windthread

Deva.  according to David Spangler,  Findhorn Foundation.   "Devas focus upon the non-human side of evolution and in particular upon the structural and formative energies and activities that help form the planet and which manifest as the laws of nature.

if you were a participant at all in the 80's,  in the time of  New Age,  Visualization will be familiar.  i used to teach classes.  Visualization was the most basic tool.  A way to explore,  from within your own Self,  all that is Out There.  Find your own way.  

so,  this face.  I look at this face..in my hands,  on this cloth,  looking At.    its details..those beautiful "prongs,  almost small antlers"  that to me are the various manifestations of fungus and lichen of this forest floor.   

almost all day it was that atmospheric river,  non stop flow,  but it DID stop,  so short a time and almost dark,  but i went Out and up into the forest next to A,  where the great rocks are.  The turkey tails and other fungal and lichen beings are in profusion.  I squated.  Breathing.  Then,  visualizing this face for moments before turning it and looking Through This Face.  Feeling the soundSong of the Net Threads flowing from my mouth,  down.    Breathing and letting this image form.  Asking just this.  No more.  enough for this time.  but what came was a very heightened sense of the Membrane of the Moisture from the River of Rain,  distinct and as if i could touch it.  The SCENT of all that composes the forest floor,  sticks,  leaves,  pine needles and cones,  branches and then the huge trunks of fallen trees,  old trees.  Their interiors,  exposed roots.  The intensity of this was ……what?.  The intensity of this was……,   was……  otherworldly.  or surreal.  Interesting,  surreal,  because it was just Real.  Only Real.  Ordinary Real.  How forest is here,  in January,  in Rain.  The vibrance of it though…….

this is where i want to "go".  So,  back.  Around.  Visualize.

one of the weather blogs:  Atmospheric River.  set to soak Californa.

all day.  Non stop.  SKY WATER.  WIND.   Atmospheric River.  yes.

From that moment,  a few days ago,  when i read about the Mycelial Net….." a discrete subspace domain containing the mycelium,  or roots of the fungus" ,  the being of the life form…..    How little we know.  How much there is to Imagine.

I return.  Re Member.  The Gaia Hypothesis formulated by JamesLovelock and  co~developed by Lynn Margulis.  1970's.  Remember.  And i remember Findhorn.    Go there now.  David Spangler,   Findhorn Foundation, describes Devas..  "focus upon   the non~human side of evolution and in particular upon the structural and formative energies and activities that help form the planet and which manifest as the laws of nature"

i sew.   I stitch a Cloth.

The mycelial net..out of the mouth,  the song,  the sound,  the breath.   The drawing.  wanting to deepen connection to this Place,  this Earth the imagined  images of spirits here,  the energetic forms at work,  giving them personification…..feeling that mycelial net moving through my chest,  feeling the soundsong in the exhale of breath,  flow down through the body to the foot palms.  into the Earth.

i visualize looking through this drawn face…  like a tool.  A mask.  a tool.   Out.  Into what is here.  the TOOL of the face reduces the distance between thought and FeltSense,  helps me express.  Feeling then,  the joy that Earth feels as celebrating  LIFE,  its LIVING

i listened and understood this Cloth today.  It's more than i had imagined.  But i will need to hold that till tomorrow.  For now,  SKY WATER drums on the roof.  Flows in rivulets.   The young human beings are Gone.  It's quiet.  Time to let it all go till i begin again tomorrow.

they don't happen a lot,  but they DO happen….enough….to keep us on our toes.

Alyssia had an appointment early for someone to come and haul off all the trash from her new rental home.  Lots. No details.  just saying, Lots.  This person was also supposed to clean the attic.   But upon arrival,  he opted out of that for various reasons and so it was a somewhat aborted mission.  First bummer.    But he did haul 2 stoves,  on refrigerator,  piles of moldy carpet, etc.  So ok.   He was 2 hours late.  Ok again.    This morning,  i hooked in the small propane tank.  It wouldn't ignite the heater.  She checked it before she left,  having dropped Emrie off.  Took parts with her.  

Emrie and I had a day.  No longer is she a baby.  Now a little person.  OUT being her favorite word. She brings her jacket.   We went OUT.  We walked all through the old Doe Goat Forest.  It's slow going,  a slope, first,  but also, many obstacles in form of branches and downed trees.  We saw that a tall tree had unrooted and fallen into a live tree…supported temporarily…WIND made this fall,  WIND will make more of it.  Precarious.  We kept walking.  Her small sturdy legs.  Her hanging on to one of my fingers.  Walking is a work of art.    

we stop at Cinderella's grave and sit a while,  catching our breath.  But in a few minutes, go on.  Around and around and then UP and sit on the horizontal tree a while,  then go again.  Back to where the Doe Goats have returned and she medthodically feeds them small wisps of plants…they take them in their Goat soft lips…she's learned to keep her fingers OUT of those lips and we do this till i am beyond DONE with it and i tell her IN and she falls back onto the earth and sobs.  I stand there.  Waiting till she's done and take her hand.  Repeat sobbing.  and then we go back in and i lay with her a little while on the couch bed till she falls asleep.  Ever so carefully get up and spend the next hour and a half moving cloth around that Drawing or Doodle.  Pretty soon  Julian is dropped off by the school bus and walks his way up and i make grilled cheese sandwiches.

Alyssia returns to undo and take the propane tank parts for what we imagine might be another 45 minutes but she has a flat at the gas station and goes to find a fix a flat and the place that said they had the propane part didn't.    But she's BACK and Emrie Trills,  MA MA!!!  MA MA!!!!  and in the meantime,  Tay has eaten the blue crayon.

They are gone now.  Till tomorrow.  We will begin again.

But that pic,  at the top.  As Emrie  and i are bumbling along,  she stops and points….Tickahhhha! she exclaims.  No one knows what that exactly is,  or where it might have come from.  But it's her exclamation that means  HEY!!!!!  LOOK!!!!  or

YAY!!!!

i hadn't noticed.  What is this?   it reminds me of the mud wasps in New Mex.  But that's not it.  What then?

the Rim at the drivewayRoad side of B.   All the fluff is that spent Rice Straw bedding from the Doe Goats ShelterHouse.  Because of the manure and urine it had already begun decomposing…RE composing,  i like that better

i began to try to dig,  thinking i'd dig it in,  but still,  digging there is hard.  Many many granite stones and rocks,  from when Jenny created this "yard " flat while clearing the space for the B House.  So it's both the topsoil from this Hill slope and rock.  The soil is dark and rich.  There is about one month until it will be time to plant.  A lot happens in a month in this kind of forest.  How much,  i don't know.  Will find out.  This next week i'll haul over buckets of that pulverized manure, twigs and leaves from along the Doe Forest fence.  It has already become soil.  Add that.    and Watch.  

i began bringing over good sized rocks to mark the growing spaces.   over Forever will keep adding to them,  making small circle walls,  to hold in what New is added,  like baskets they'll be.  

Jenny put in all the T posts for the little yard fence,  the Sorry,  No Goats fence.  it will circle B.  close in.  I still want the Goats to clear as it goes.  All inside this fence is my responsibility.   And as it is always,   i realized that the small B yard,  surrounded by fence will indeed keep Goats out,  but also will keep Tay IN.  Hmmmm.  So….once i am There,  will need to create a dog door for Tay.  In the fence.  ok.  it's always something, Right?

Through all this,  through all the mulling,  Talkie busily scratched and scratched,  her beady little black eye unblinking.  Sometimes she comes to be touched.  Just a little is enough and off again.  Some hours she worked.  And now,  at the end of the day,  i wonder if she will want to pick out the new seedlings????  Maybe….chickens do that….   Hmmmm.  Again,  as above.  It's always something.  

Tomorrow, still SUN.  Then some days of Rain.  Sky Water.

there's a basket of oh so small scraps behind me,  on the shelf under the window.   And i reach back and pull up small pieces and place them,   around this drawing thing and the deep satisfaction of this.

i received a package from Saskia.  Tales from the birdhut.  dot blogspot,  Netherlands.   Many small pieces of cloth she marked,  some distinct and complex,  some,  like this one…so subtle….and i sat this morning and the URGE to draw on it….

how it is.  If you want to learn a different language,  an Earth Language,  how your gaze must become empty of what you already know,  must be open to what you do not know and then,  how you would breathe and let your self that you know become particles,  moving,  particles and no defined form…how that feels as the sides of your skull loosen and  release and you become the Space that you are in with just "eyes,  nostrils, mouth opening"….maybe your breathing becomes sound?,  like song?  Song, but not song….no "tune",  nothing familiar,  but song nonetheless….

the drawing was very fast,  impulsive.  i do not love the word doodle,  but i guess that's what might most describe it.  or……?

out front of the Dollar Store.   I haven't looked it up yet,  but it is a common landscape bush.  Frequent.  And what i love is that it THRIVES…the berries…in profusion.  No care.  Just there.

i don't even have any idea what to say about this.  

What can be said?   A World on a rock.  Complex and Perfect,  unto its own Self  Selves…..but also,  so much in response to the world of the Rock.  How to even think a single thought about this?  We call it Lichen.  But what,  Really,  is happening here???

turkey tail.

there's much about it if googled.  and Utubes.  An ancient medicine Being.  I have only gone through reading some.  And no one site tells the whole story.   I piece it together.  These fan like forms are the fruit of the Plant Being,  the "plant" is the mycelial net.   lives in the bark of the fallen tree,  the interior of that tree and down into the Earth beneath,  the net extending under ground.  

when asking for harvest,  great care is given to leave the bark with connection intact,  not disturb that.  Gently.  With great care.

in the pic,  the ones with white undersides are the true Turkey Tail.  To the right,  Sterem ostrea or false Turkey  Tail.   A polypore,  Turkey Tail holds its spores in tubes on  its underside ,  the hymenium.   displays tiny holes visible to the naked eye.

as i am moving through this forest,  tree to tree,  i find self slowing and slowing.  i squat and look Long and carefully before touching.  then touch as lightly as i can.  I find self asking.  May i know about you?  May i learn.  And it continues,  through the rest of the day.  A sense of touching lightly.  Everything.  The cell phone,  dishes in the sink.  Emrie.  Not something i choose to do,  but something that was Taught.  as in Buddhism…direct transmition.  It is simply There.