windthread

it's already the middle of September.

 

might be perfect.  we'll see.  It's 90 degrees (out and in)   only the fan on and i bake a pie.

Jan is talking on and off about training her new pup, Fix.  She has a blog.  And as she is,  like i was saying, uh,  well,  focused,    she blogs very specific things.  Like about the livestock.  about her dogs.  They are English Shepards.  Farm dogs.  She flew to Boston to get Fix.  From a very specific breeder.  

anyway,  she's beginning his training.  She's beginning his training with the Place Command.  "Teaching a dog to travel to a specific spot and then remain in that spot until released.  It is easier for most people to teach than a solid stay, because the dog isn't required to remain in either a sit or down.  This exercise consists of training 2 separate exercises then combining to a single.  The first teaches the dog to remain in a designated spot until released.  The second teaching the dog to travel to that designated spot."  She uses a bath mat for this training.  I'm going to get a bath mat at the Dollar Store on Monday.  Tay is 3 now,  oh, eee,  maybe she's 4?  i'll have to look, but i don't think we've been together 3 years?…or have we, well anyway,  maybe she's too old for this.  Fix is not even 6 months.  And maybe we have too much of a Live and Let Live relationship.  But it will be fun to try.  Whether or not she buys it,  she'll find it interesting that i'm saying stuff to her and dragging a bath mat around.  IF she is into it,  it will be the first step in her becoming a herding dog…which she can be on the Hill.  so who knows?????

 

there are thread bead  (Jude Hill)  stars around the Moon.  There is the first of something coming from under Her Flow,  maybe a strand of Grass,  Maybe a kind of Vertical Root?  I don't know.

 

 

went to harvest apples from Bill and Nelia's tree.  They are gone to Maine.  Apples are tart…not the exact pie apples,  but close enough and there are many.  So, called Jan, the Dog Trainer…for her pigs?  yes and i can see the changes in the Goat world at her place.  

 

apples and a few huge cucumbers.  there's one more pig but it was off somewhere doing something.

 

like everywhere,  an abundance of Wild Sunflowers

 

around the side…over by the hay barn,  the Chicken's Place and around the corner from that…

 

the dog kennel from when she used to board and train dogs.  But now, here,  are two of Sunny Ray's progeny.  The white one in the front with the horns is a wether (neutered male)  the other a doe.  They are just about a year and a half.  The woman she sold them to had called last week….torn her rotator cuff and said she couldn't care for them and Jan needed to take them back.  Eyebrows go up….who, we wonder, hasn't had a rotator cuff injury and just kept going ?,  but the woman was insistent and so here they are.  Good news is that the guy who comes to help Jan with things like bush hogging saw them and wants them.  But not till after he is back from elk hunting…next week.  But this gave me an opportunity to see what Sunny Ray throws.  Nice.  Very Nice.  

Jan had gotten two new does from a herd in Tularosa…supposed to be bred when they came.  and yup,  3 days ago.  I smell them,  like all Goats do.  Smell is the Link.

 

 

the mother smells me

 

where this is is the lambing jugs.   Three small "rooms" that can be separated by cattle panel.  From when she had the Hair Sheep up until last year.  A ram would be brought to breed all of them at the same time…i think she had probably over 20 ewes.   So as they would lamb,  the ewe and her lambs would be separated out and put in a jug so that they would bond.  In a day or so, would be moved out into the main herd and another ewe brought in.  It would only take a day or so,  but would ensure that Each knew their own.

i have and do value my time here knowing Jan.  She is a no nonsense person.  She cares for her animals with impecability.  She "loves" them in her own way,  that is different than how i love things.  But her difference has taught me well.   I will not be able to butcher Goats that i know.  She does.  I found it incredibly hard to let the kids go,  she is good with it.  And for these years,  the exchange between us has been so much for the Good.   I am Grateful to her.

 

 

 

had an exchange with Liz today…about assigning Joy and Sorrow to everything… that is just about being alive.  I look at that.

 

Gaia II     No questions here.  Cloth made it clear and straightforward.  That moon eye is of Deb Lacativa.  The petals,  again….thrift shop clothing…a blouse…the Other Side of the print, and i want to use some of the Inktense pencils to soften it, maybe.  More maybe,  again.

 

my friend, Goldie.  it's a daredevil leap from the porch to this very narrow ledge.

the really good idea about posting early in the day doesn't seem much more than a good idea.  Early in the day,  there are things Going On.    and not just me,  but like unforecasted thunderstorms.  so i'm back to the old routine,  the end of the day,  when all is pretty much softened,  quieted.  Maybe it's just that i've gotten used to it.    I thought to day how i used to write REAMS in the morning…beginning before first light.   Reams.  Like 10 page letters to people,  hand written  but now…all there is  is this reporting of the day.  Hmmmm.

 

Emrie.   

 

it seems likely that the October idea is holding.  More toward the end of October.   or maybe middle.

maybe.

today the final paperwork for the powers that be are handed over.  If they are approved,  the permit will be issued to allow all to begin however it will go.   There is a "packet".  All proposed details of land use are detailed.  down to the most minute detail.  There needed to be a drawing…on graph paper of everything.  Everything that is there,  like bushes and trees to everything that is proposed. waterlines,  those french drains,  the culvert,  and on.  For Alyssia's house they wanted a similar graph of the home itself with all light fixtures  and wall outlets noted in place.  What else..??  oh…detailed information re the composting toilets.  as in brand etc accompanied by documents from the company that makes them.  also very detailed schematic and proposed function of grey water system.

ok.

slow slow going.  How long will this take?  Who knows.  Will they be required to make significant changes?  Who knows.  Each time you submit paperwork there is a fee.  This is California and there are many opinions about California.  But you know….the longer i listen and watch this all, oh so slowly and painfully unfold,  the more i soften to California.  The more i feel like this is a place i want to align with.  They have stringent standards that seem designed to defeat.  But all these land use regulations are designed to ensure sustainability with the least impact.  So i watch.  Things like the necessity of signed agreement if you plan to gray water, for random inspections in the first three years of use.  They aren't fooling around.  Here, in contrast,  New Mexico,  people still dump used motor oil anywhere.  Still have incredibly lax and faulty septic systems near sources of agricultural ground water.  Still,  here in my county,  there is really NO building inspection.  It's a different world, yes,  desert,  rural.  But it's the same Planet.  

how it might go,  depending on how long all the red tape takes,  is that if i do go in October,  i might be spending a while  (what is the definition of "while"?)  in  the travel trailer….the camper.  I hope this is not so.  But it might be.  The good side of that is that i would then participate in the construction of my hut.  But still.  Mostly i do not want this on behalf of Tay and Tazmeena.  I would rather they go to "their Place" right off.    Hmmm.   

October is still a time to plant trees.  Julian and i will do this.   His fruit trees of his choosing.  The Moringa forest and yes….still…the lilacs.  In November,  two or three does will be bred.  They will kid in the spring.  

Maybe.

Emrie.   Emrie is Alyssia's child.   born July 29th,  not yet 2 months old,  yesterday she Crawled.  Alyssia says there is no other way to describe it other than some kind of  primitive crawling. maybe like a baby sea turtle.  She propelled herself across the living room floor, her arms and legs  moving in awkward unison shoving her face along ahead of her.  She can't lift up her head yet, but is not deterred.  Practice makes perfect.  She does not like to lay.  She wants to be upright.  Sitting,  like everyone else.  Does not like to be cradled when held unless she's breast feeding.  preferring instead to be held so her feet are touching something.  This is Alyssia all over again.  Here we Go.  I can barely wait.

Since time might be getting short, maybe,  i am going to try to post earlier in the day so i can devote the larger part of the day into evening,   to some kind of getting Ready.  Maybe.   To establish some momentum.  We'll see,  but it's worth a try.  I am very fragmented and there is a lot of daydreaming.  I need to begin looking for boxes.  Get back to once again doing the bucket training with the buck Goats.  Back to driving around with Tay in the truck,  practicing getting out at the Truck Stop down the road on the freeway.  These things.   and finally begin sorting through all the stuff in the Albatros.  All the tools,  useful and not so much but loved.  Remember all that stuff i brought home from the Old Cowboy's?   and then my own accumulation.  Canning jars?   strainers?  enamel pans and pots.  I don't think i said this before.  The plan might change. Originally Travis would drive the big UHAUL truck that would pull the Honda Car.  I would drive the Toyota truck.  I cannot drive straight through so would necessitate a two day trip.  Travis however is taking a new job, maybe,  and will not have that much time.   I was ok with driving the old pickup with the idea that if something went wrong,  he would be right behind and could trouble shoot.  Not so much if i am traveling over a day alone.  So i will drive the Uhaul.  I need to practice using Side Mirrors.  I never do.

so this is it for now.  Forward Ho.

 

 

 

 

 

 

words that are close….overflowing,  inundated,  flooded;   close, but not and i know this because Out feeding Goats just now,  a song appeared that was nothing but about giving grass hay into the bowls.  Goldie and Wheat came and laid  on the porch steps listening.  so…just brimming with images and feelings about so much.  I'm not pushing,  just letting it circle through,  back,  through some more.  How could it be any other way?

 

go slow,  Cloth says.

 

have been on the table for quite a while.  today,  finally gravitated to Each Other.  Together.  and then i  saw   Saskia's cloth…..kin

 

silk

 

 

 

yesterday,  i was in,  as IN a hurricane.  I watched.  I was glued.   All day till i gave up and went to sleep.  This morning,  going out to Feed,  it was surreal….Sun…desert     Two Worlds,  but same country.  ????

Went off to work Away today and came home to some Opinion i think from the Chicago Tribune about how we'd been duped,  for Ratings,  at at first i thought,  oh,  bummer,  dumb me,  but then i thought, NO,  i watched because i wanted to.  I wanted to SEE how it was there,  hour after hour after hour in a Hurricane and i need this,  NEED this as info for what is to come…for how this USA will go forward,  on it's premise of no climate change,  how this USA will go forward with "rebuild",  when "rebuild" is really oh so very unwise…how Change is Change and must be seen as Change…so…in the end,  at the end of this day,  i am ok with having been glued to the screen.  It was really quite amazing,  as i don't have TV and i somehow got the drift that i could watch LIVE on Utube??????????????  How amazing is that?

anyway

 

 

the three plates.   not dinner plate size.  smaller…what would they be?  Salad plates?  i don't know.  Three of them.  For whatever.  i don't need such things.  but……

from here,  watching There,  how it's all playing out,  this planetary stuff

 

and it's just a kind of comfort…cloth….in the rocking chair…just there,  looking so Beauty FULL

but i also saw a being

 

 

i made a Friend,  a cloth Friend.

 

 

and it's good now

 

so focused,  i almost missed this…The Stinky Plant…2 blooms,  one open

i needed to go to the Post Office and also i'd forgotten to get dog food from the feed store.  To town.  Friday is the Flea Market.    i haven't been in more than a year,  but it looked like it was exactly as it was the last time.  Pretty much the same stuff it seemed.  Except for a woman selling incense…she said she made it herself????  whatever,  and i bought a dollars worth of Patchouli.  How many of you out there love or do not love Patchouli???????   And there was a woman selling parakeets and finches and she had all kinds of cages incase someone bought one or two and needed a cage.  I looked at them for a long time.  She also had hamsters and a single little turtle whose kind has been offered for sale since i was a child. in a tiny plastic thing with a plastic palm tree.  As i write this,  i am wondering if it would live in some body of water near here,  near here being maybe down south at Elephant Butte??  If it could,  maybe i would get it and take it on that 7o mile drive. ????  Free Wiley.  maybe not,  so what if i got a really big terrarium and made it a world….?

   Also went to the annual Episcopal Church's Rummage Sale to look for damask for Deb Lacativa to no avail.  Don't know what's happened but there's nothing but synthetics anymore but i did get a man's wool cardigan sweater,  an  unappealing beige but i could imagine tying it up and leaving it in a walnut vat someday in the future.  and 3 plates.  I forgot them out in the truck.   I need plates like a hole in the head.  hmm.

and yesterday,  for the first time,  the National Weather Service was WRONG.  Said thunderstorms at night,  but late afternoon,  they began rolling over the RIM and caught me off guard with grass hay still in the truck and the big tarp off what's left of the Alfalfa and i was out in the rain and WIND making up for procrastinating….and that big tarp still had the rip….procrastination again… i did a new repair with way more duct tape again just earlier tonight…less artsy, more practical

UpDate from the Feral Neighbors under the House:  Goldie now comes through the Way Back Gate and hangs around with Tay,  doing that weaving swishing  thing against her legs and Tay is beside herself with Thrill.  Licking Goldie carefully.  ee.  And i fill the bowl out there for them maybe every other day…dry cat food…and twice,  a couple days ago and again last night,  it was obvious that a skunk came to enjoy the cat food.  This isn't great.   So i'll change the feeding routine.  Just some in the morning that can be gone by night.   I keep telling everyone i see about them.  In the grocery line, today at the rummage sale.  At the feed store and gas station.   No one needs a kitten right now.  I can picture Goldie coming through the dog door into the house….his bright little face all a glow…saying    HEY!

and i picked my dirty threads.  Deb Lacativa.   In the moment she's getting ready for Irma.  Sump Pump.

in the distance,  over the far South West RIM it's all hazy.  Something's burning.   Hundreds of miles away,  but we can see the haze.

ok.  Ready.  i have NO CLUE,  ready for What?  I have no idea.  that's for tomorrow if i'm lucky.

 

i woke last night,  somewhere around 2 oclock.  Wide awake.  I could tell you about the dream,  but, really the fact that it was nothing important was the Take Away….just stuff….huge rooms,  people,  a baby,  there were four pianos  and i woke from this totally and instead of trying to go back to sleep, i lie there quietly and there came words.  It was a Narrator Dream,  i've talked about them in the past,  but it's been a long long time…years?  But this was different because the Message came when i was just awake.  I was not sleeping.  it was not in the Dream,  but From the Dream and as those messages are,  it was succinct and clear.  It  said….

"Exactly what is your perception of your personal responsibility for the Well Being of this Planet?"

i lie there some,  just lying there and the MOON was so strong through the window…i thought it just had to be Full.   It was almost as if it was a different kind of "nightDay".   I didn't want to go back to sleep i wanted to stay with the Moon and with the words and i just got up and turned on this computer and found the post from yesterday,  sat looking at the pic of the OtherSide of the cloth and then looked to the right,  on the sidebar and right there,  right along side,  was Sam Baker and Mercy…the Utube.  I clicked and sat,  listening,  watching both the OtherSide of the cloth and the images of the Utube,  these both telling me that it's ok,  this place i'm in right now,  that its as it should be,  that the ache is deep but the stakes are so High,  it's as it should be 

and i went outSide,  crickets.  That MOON GLOW,  across the land,  Tazmeena came out and settled next to me,  Tay was already out and i knew that Goldie, Wheat and their Mother were out too.

So just Beauty FULL and those words….Exactly what is your perception of your personal responsibility for the Well Being of this Planet?

and this all comforted me.   If i am working to answer this question day by day,  it is what i CAN do.  To carry the question is what i can do.  To have it be my ONLY question is what i can do.

This morning i went to Utube and typed in Cary Fowler and found again the Utube:

go pro Cause:  Forever Securing World Food Supply with Crop Trust….the Svalbard Global Seed Vault,  Cary Fowler.   Michelle had sent that some time ago.  In the Dawn,  i watched that.  Twice.

And by these things,  i can now devote mySelf to this Place until i'm gone from it.  No longer do i need to turn away.

 

Tonight IS the Full Moon

ADDENDUM.

touched the publish button,  then the View Blog at the top right,  and there it all is again,  same as before,  the Other side pic of the Cloth with Sam Baker Mercy just to the right.  So i repeat.  Once, so far,  but now go to repeat again.

 

since birth.

an afternoon of that thing of it being like watching a slide show of still images….projected on a white surface,  … pic!  pause….pic! pause….pic….etc.

i  can't be coherent about it all.  I guess because i really just don't want to now,  just want to make note of it.  Because the most recent August just passed and we need to Go into September.  so just a couple things to note.

Tina emailed a question about one of the photographs that are in the Handeye article about Wendy Golden Levitt's work with Textiles and Children.  It's on Jude's Sidebar.   Was it my cloth?, she wondered?…and Yes.  The photograph is of a childs hands gently set upon a cloth that they had draped atop a drum.  It's the Tay cloth i sent.    The Handeye mag's date is 2010 and i could not really believe that it was that long ago???  But that doesn't matter.  What does matter is that i went back in Picasa files,  thinking to look for it there…i have no printout….but it quickly became overwhelming and i returned to the blog,  thinking to look in the Archives,  which if you click Archives,  go back to 2010.  and i looked in the month of August,  2010 and that stopped it all dead in it's tracks.  Only looked at a few pics,  one of which was of the Hoop House that daughter and i built where the middle Doe Yard is now.  Like a whole different life,  a whole different world.  Which it was.  and Is.  The photographs of that August….oh, eeeeeee.   I stop and stare off…what has happened??  WHEN did it happen?  What really IS IT that has happened?  

One thing i would GRIEVE so so deeply is if i somehow got lost to all the years of Picasa…there are hundreds of pics there that are just magnificant to me and the only record of this Place.  I …here's that word….i  only HOPE to make it to California with all this computer stuff intact so they can Tech me safe with it all.  It hangs by a "click".

and back to that photograph in Wendy's article.  I see it in my present frame of mind,  which is what,  i don't exactly know,  but needing to distance from things,   but with this pic,  there is no distance and i remember the Lizard Cloth that so many of the children have used,  one in particular who went on a walk with Wendy,  out through the nearby woods.  Along the way,  she fed the cloth lizard some berries,  leaving small red stains,  but said not to worry…to Wendy….they would wash.  and on the way back,  she buried the lizard cloth at the base of a White Pine tree as her grandmother had taught her.  They sat.  for a while.  until it was long enough,  brought the cloth up from the earth and returned.  These images in my mind called into question that distancing….because in so many ways,  i am so much the same as Wendy's children,  still,  and by being that,  feed my soul.  

soul

soul of me,  soul of planet

and there's just so much,  i guess it's overwhelming sometimes.  

 

and isn't it interesting,  how it All Goes…how i am suddenly putting pics of the Other Side here…

this is how far i got today.  

the OtherSide,  the Front,  is what i "make" of it all.  This side is how i travel to make that Image.  both are critical to a Life.