windthread

today was Work Away and then Cat Duty at Allan's with the new addition of the just delivered 10 new chickens.  Not a lot of time for cloth,  but before i left this morning,  as i looked,  i saw that a scrap had somehow made its way and  though it's not one i would choose,  i placed it on Her.  What i realized with this is that i really can do Anything on this Diaries Cloth.   It really is for my eyes and heart only other than when it appears here.  It can

change.

or,  stay exactly the same.

but it can

continue

through this Time now ….Until.

and when i got back home i looked more.  I really like these long female figures with only bodily form and a face.  Something about that is important to me.  That there is no Doing necessary.  Just the Being,  the still Being.  But i also thought today that that could Change.  On the right,  Her left,  you might be able to see the most vague impression of an arm.  And because of the miracle of the camera,  IF i gave her arms,  she would still be here,  for me,  in her original form

 

and sitting OutSide,  envisioning the roots there,  trying to FEEL how they might be woven together under this Place on the Earth.

if the  color had stayed,  would there be any of this?  

 

 

using the Inktense pencils to give some of the color back…a perfect way to Learn them

 

she became grounded by her mantra and then rooted.  How a cutting can be taken from a root sometimes.

i pray.  i don't have a god to pray to.  but i Pray,  nonetheless.  I pray to the vast humanity that i am a part of that i am the same as.  I pray that somehow the things in Aleppo can  STOP.  

i went Back.  Looking for the beginning.  Finding it in late summer, 2011.   I've written that down because i'm not good at timelines.  

I found Spirit Cloth in September, 2009.  Wouldn't you know,  here it is September, 2016.  Seven years.  Although i don't retain dates,  i am reliable about an internal repetition of seasons.  Cycles.

This Diaries Cloth.   Had been following all the online work with Jude…Jude Hill and this Diaries Cloth,  i wanted there to be space.  Other than that,  there was no order or preconceived thought.  Things appeared as it went along.  It's when i began to understand Just Going.

 

 

 

i put this here because it was amidst these pics in Picasa.  Not one of these Goats,  but one at an event the daughter and i went to in East Mountain.   She still was here in N Mex,  still had the Goats with her.  I loved the eye and a Goat eye went on the cloth. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

things moved and changed and settled and the online workshops continued and i continued,  the Diaries rested.

 

 

i saw in this orange cloth a shape of a figure kneeling in meditation.   This was still during the time of working to put myself back together after the death of that person i was married to.  This Place in the Cloth was about Taking Refuge,  about going back again to seeking refuge in the buddhist teachings.

 

 

 

so i come through the Gate and arrive here.  I look at the figure that has faded so,  and with pencil,  mark her.  And i look how the  "frame of things" around her is cut….broken.  An opening there for things In and things Out.  So this now.  ok.

and just as a reminder to self…the Archives for this blog go back and begin in April of 2010.  Before that was a short time with Blog Spot…from February, 2010…in the transition to typepad,  those months were lost.  They were important months,  the beginning with Cloth Making,  the beginning with becoming a student of Jude's.  So something to remember,  take note of.  Stuff can be lost.

 

 

felt by All who breathe on the Planet.   I sat at the Raft,  in the middle Oasis,  in the weeds.  Sat in the weeds.   Now we turn.

Yesterday was International Day of Peace and there was no mention of that in the Google News.

 

 

Side Oat Grama,  Blue Grama  i see them today in the Way Back Oasis as i dump and refill the Goat water.  How they have remained determined in their small way.  Tomorrow i'll look in the Middle Oasis.  There has been Side Oat Grama there before,  maybe now?  I haven't looked.

 

back on the wall.  Where does it stand?,  the Gate?  how does it fit

with all the rest?

 

 

the Gate.  What does it Mean?  What?  What does it mean?

 

in the lower left.   Where it will Go Through in the Upper Right, to the Other Side.

I told 3 people about this yesterday…three people with bodies in my presence…and they said…o….

Martine has given this link so we can all see this incredible  moment of BEAUTY… DON'T anyone

tell me that this sisterhood here is not as "real" as face to face.  We are heart to heart.  

 

This world.  Planet…inhabited.  World.  Planet…inhabited.

I     do.    I   do look at the Google News Feed.   Reading….looking.   I do Metta Meditation as i read and look.  It takes time.  But it's something i can do.  Metta.    as Example,  today i did Metta for Ahmad Khan Rahami.   I did Metta for his father,  Mohammad Rahami.  I took the time.  Slow.  I said the words and was quiet with the meditation.   Later,  for Elizabeth Warren.  and then John Stumpf.  Each of them,  i did Metta Meditation.  

I watched as a very soft and elegant Wind moved the branches of that tree,  the Desert Willow just at the side of the Gate….it was Grand,  the soft movement of it.  I did Metta for who ever it was down at the end of the road here,  banging and whacking at the remains of a travel trailer that lies there like an artifact from the time that Beatrice and Armando lived there,  long since abandoned,  years,  and today there was someone banging on it …. just with a stick of some sort,  not even having a tool……………  banging to salvage whatever small amount of metal was left to take and sell,  most likely for a small hit of drug….this one…i did Metta for.    May you be safe.  May you be healthy,  be happy.  May you live with ease.  Metta.  What those words mean for this person at the end of this road,  for John Stumpf, ….may you live with ease…they vary, Yes?   but still,  the basic meaning is the same.  May you not need to struggle.  May you not need to fear.

I saw on Face BooK something….i don't know any way to send this …but i think it was from the Netherlands.  I have watched it maybe 5 times so far,  the language is not english 

Beeldwerk TV  #animalcompanions#lovealways#qualityoflife    Hidden Desires is a special project of the Care Group and the Green Cross where small wishes are fulfilled.    www. verborgen-verlangers.nl  Mrs. Jacobs 87 would like to go horse riding just one more time.

 

i did it.

 

 

And of course,  Onday proves me wrong and lays by Mercy in the food tub.  Learn from Goats.

 

i am trying to let this Time rise up out of its own self.  Trying not to be quick to interpret.  Noticing.  Feeling.  let these be noticing.  feeling.  letting my self receive but not name.

This is very important to me.  very.

 

 since Snow Bunny the old Grandmother began to excuse herself from being the boss,  and particularly since she has become sick with whatever it is,  it has become clear that her first daughter Onday has assumed her position in the herd.  Here,  standing on the overturned horse trough that acts as a Drum,  she makes the decisions.

 

not yet.

 

ok.

 

there were triplets.  Onday and two bucklings.  The first that Jenny let me name.  So there were  Iko and Iko and Onday…..that song…Iko Iko  the Dixie Cups.  You can find it on UTube.  The bucklings were to be wethers and sold so they  could have the same name,  it was ok,  and they were sold to a very good man who wanted yard friends.   in the song,  it's really Unday,  but i liked it with an O.  Onday is maybe really my favorite Goat.  She's rough.  and maybe her daughter Mercy is my favorite Goat.  She is not rough at all.  Onday is not so much a loving mother.  She does what she has to do and then moves on to her own interests.  When they lie outside in their mother/daughter clusters,  Mercy is by herself.  Onday is with her sister Ona.    Whenever i sit out with them,  Onday claims me by rubbing her head against my spine.  There are scent glands there.  She marks me.  It's not comfortable, that rubbing with skull bones,  but i accept it.  It makes me part of her herd.

When it's time to go,  there will be another stock trailer.  A bigger one than the two horse that we have here now.  It will be a 4 horse with doors that divide it in two.  The two halves are themselves divided. The bucks will be rodeo'd in.  The does tho,  will be led by Onday.

 

Oona.  Onday's sister from a successive kidding.

 

Ginger.  Maybe Jenny's favorite…but no…Caroline..just behind her…but no….favorite sometimes is who you are touching in the moment.  Who is touching you.  Favorite moves.

 

Arctica.  Alyssia's Goat who was born in California on the First Try.

 

Karma.  Who by all standards is a Perfect Nigerial Dwarf Dairy Goat.   Who also chooses to be untamed.  Not out of any fear,  but simply because she wants it that way.  This can change if she were bred and during kidding.  Does who are like her are forever changed if you are there during the birth.  They become so preoccupied it no longer matters.  And if you sit in there with the just born kids and handle them,  she somehow Forgets her snottiness and it is forever changed.   I hope this for Karma and Arctica and Just Going.

so…Goats.  Vicky noted that i'd not put much here about them for a while which i knew,  but just let be.  But as i do,  put pics here,  take pics with the intention of putting them here,  i think about how i have become so connected to them,  as a Herd.  How when i was thinking about Jenny taking Some and leaving Some,  it caused a feeling.   Herds are not about Some.  Herds are about the well being of the Whole.  All.  and they have taken me in.  I belong to them.

 

i have become so lost in thought.  Hard to go OUT and do what needs to be done so maybe this will work.  

 

Part 1 of the Weed~o~Rama that needs doing.  I will be embarrassed if by tomorrow this time i can't show a very different pic.  We'll see.

 

 

 

 

 

here's more of the Knob

 

 

 

 

 

i don't know what this might mean?  looks like it was somehow Cut?   Louie would not be beyond thievery for a cause.  I see him in town now and then.  I'll ask him.  Maybe there's more to the story.

 

I am impatient with the tree.  Trees are slow going.   But i really NEED to finish the Gate and the tree is an integral part of that.  The rest of the Cloth,  i can move around,  but i NEED to begin here.  So i spent time With the tree today,  looking closely.  Right now it has all those seed pods that somehow just disappear over the winter.  The pods of the Locust remain scattered about,   but these…disappear??????

 

 

 

 

 

all these might seem repetative,   excessive,  but they are what i'll take with me when i go.

After i took these pics,  i preformed the ritual of the evening feed and as i walked from place to place there was a feeling that's been coming on,  but was so much here this eve.  I don't know what it is.  It's very quiet.  It's not sadness.  or grief.  or at least a kind of grief that i've known before.  All i can tell about it at this point is that it's a Quietness.  I've never felt it before.  Am wondering if it's a kind of Love….that feels closest….