windthread

after the string of RainWind days,   SUN.   We receive and receive and receive.

my imagination gave the gift of an Elephant down in the Doe Forest…down by the far back fence…it was There….     It understands this Place because it is the size of the trees,   the great Old,  many years Old trees….and it is an old Elephant.  She swings her trunk.  trunk….i think of this as if for the first time ever in my life….have somehow kept Elephants at some distance so far…maybe Saved them for this last  of my life?????   Goats and an Elephant…..how great is this.

after almost an hour and a half this morning,   there was finally     this.     i write every day in these notebooks,  that used to be stenographers note books .   Have since i guess my 2o's.   and then,  with Julia Cameron,  i was told they were Morning Pages…a practice.   Years.      and this is what was,  this morning.   Nothing.    for the last days,  very little,  but this morning….nothing.  

whats happening here??????

the thought i had was to say something about    "the weather",   the RAIN and WIND but  Self said….i don't want to talk about the weather anymore…the weather IS.    Just is and nothing "said" about it ….serves.   i wanted to just turn away but then suddenly,  there was the awareness that 

    there was/is           an Elephant in the Room.          that said    Wait.   Wait.        the "weather"    is        Climate Crisis.    Climate Crisis.  You cant turn away.    and it opened out from there,   the Elephant  showing…..three examples of what can't be turned away from….    Climate Crisis    Gaza    Birthright    just three of many,  but can't be turned away from ,  because they are too hard.        Need to be            acknowledged.           Need to be spoken  about….given words.   So….2025 …  to Stand and Face.   from Pinkola~Estes

Wind advisories.   New this year.        and even here,   at A   that is usually exempt from  "weather',     tonight…10 pm til 2 pm Sunday.

out of nowhere.    a facebook advertisement  that all day has held my attention.    

the first and only thing in YEARS that has caught my attention,  that i actually might want to BUY….?????    I won't,  but  …..why would i???????    

my wardrobe.   for some years now…..zip hoodie sweatshirts ,   over things and under things,   this time of year the So Loved Wool Sweater   a kind of camouflage   Black and GreyBrown   i blend in.    

Want to blend in.   If i wore this…..i would be         noticed.     at the Post office or the Dollar Store.

So…where Would i wear it?     Here?    the trees would see me 

2024  brought these.    I look forward to taking them in to this next year coming.     How they might evolve,  their variations.   

      I like  them,  they feel good.   The making of them,  pencil touching,  beginning with one  mark then more,  connecting,   becoming the surprise  of      a Thought     a Feeling    a picture of  A Moment.    They tie into the teachings of Tara Brach and Sharon Salzberg that i also will  bring….about learning to simply Be Present.   To BE with     just this.   They've been all over, on the Table,  in the Circle Basket,  fallen behind things and under.    I gathered them today and held them together with a rubber band.    This feels good too.

i thought i'd just ignore it….carry on as if it WASN'T   but then….so this won't make any sense at all but it will be said and we can then move on.   

I was late getting there.  To Alyssia's     No reason,  just was hard to get going…cold maybe.  damp maybe.  but really…no reason but i did get there and it was in full swing.   Jenny at the stove top station with Brinley   Jazmine at the table top grill station with Emrie     They are making red and green pancakes.  toppings are whip cream maple syrup strawberries bananas and chocolate chips   and it is clear that Jazmine is now an integral PART of Us.   (she now lives in the little yellow house next door to Alyssia's house,  the little yellow house where Alyssia first lived and now is in contract of rent to own…Jazmine lives there….she is related.  We can just say a cousin.  Michigan cousin.  )   and regular pancakes and breakfast sausage scrambled eggs cinnamon rolls stuff like that    Jenny's man was on the couch in the livingroom the big screen TV with Star Trek,  napping peacefully  i'd missed the opening of the presents     jeffrey is somewhere and Julian is in New jersey at his dad's   jax is in New mexico with his mother to visit her family    and it all goes on,  at some point Jazmine comes back from over at her house wearing a Tshirt that says….My First Christmas being a Mom.     How we find out.   She's pregnant…due in July    and right around that time Veronika showed up with the two little boys…we'll say cousin again….Minnow is ecstatic with all the kids and comotion

and a million things more,  but we left…to get back at feeding time and Hill is here…peaceful.  Peacefull.  PeaceFULL.

from Mushrooms of California…my fold out laminated booklet,  waterproof (?)    J. Duane Sept

The resting chair at Jack's feed shed.  At least 10,  a cluster.   I've never seen before.     "Before you begin.   This guide is intended to help the beginner identify mushrooms.  Mushroom identification requires a detailed study of a specimen.  This includes many more characteristics than could be included in this brochure.  Matching a picture to a specimen alone is not adequate for correct identification – and  AN INCORRECT  IDENTIFICATION COULD BE FATAL!   You should NEVER  eat any wild mushroom until its identification is confirmed by a qualified mushroom expert."    and then….there's an Edibility Key ….Edible and choice,  edible,    not edible   and  poisonous.    i'm almost positive they are Western Shaggy Parasol.   that fall in the category of edible but not choice (flavorless)…  and ends with  "WARNING:  Proper identification paramount due to its deadly look alike,  the green spored Shaggy Parasol.    Many in this brochure end this way.

so,  OK.    I was so excited.   But now what?    Even tho i think it's NOT the poisonous one,   …..  what if it IS?    eeee.

I'm confident that they don't   pose harm to any of Us.   Goats,  dog,  cat.   …..  unless   as the bales of grass hay are moved into the feed shed,   pieces of broken mushroom get caught ????    How many     spores   will these release?   maybe some growing INSIDE the feed shed in the cracks of the pallet there….impossible to get to?       And then….there came the wonder,    What is their purpose?   If they are poisonous,  what Purpose do they serve?    …..and maybe….only poisonous to humans?,   but also,   i don't know any mammals that eat mushrooms…?????     WHAT is their Place in this  biome?   Does there "have to be"?..a reason for them?  Purpose?     How do  i  understand the meaning of   "reason",   "purpose"….and well…what is the reason for me?  purpose?    

Dollar Store.   No calendars where they had been before.   eee   but then there they were,  two boxes full and it's Puppies, Baby Animals,  Landscapes,  Architecture of Europe,  Seas and Oceans,   many of each  …..no Butterflies.     but too good to be true, but True,  at the back of the second box,   this    ONE   and only This One…..i'm taking it as a sign.   And these last days of silence here….experiencing what that's been like….if there was no more Windthread???   no more of whatever this is /  has become…reading the comments and being unable to respond….MISSING the exchange.   The connection of US.   the pulse of the Thread.  Many thoughts and i ended up thinking in terms of Field Notes…as Deb G references.   Field notes.   I googled.

the researcher's  documentation of events,  conversations and behaviors observed in the field,  and the researcher's  reflections on them.           and then i thought….WHAT? field??????    What's the field?    it's  more than    a   field.   There's the field of this Hill,   the field of going to Town,  the field of citizenship in this country at this time in history,  and then….the field of my Mind/Heart

so…ok.   this for now.  Field Notes.

with the last little battery of this old laptop….I saved

for this Solstice Eve,  this just so very amazing creation from Mo.   Mo Orkiszewski   itscrowtime.wordpress.com     It arrived 2 days ago and I have not stopped looking at it since.    I truly can say it's the most  BeautyFully WonderFull work of Art and Heart in my entire lifetime.    Everything about it…it's tenderness,  fierceness,  aliveness,  motion,   it's Timing,  it's Love,  it's

hope.  it tells me a story of how

hope

is.

indestructible…moving through….guided by moon and star

Thank You, Mo.   so so much.   for sending and then for permission to share it here.    I so      hope      you will find it in your heart to make its  image that we could hold in our hands…please….if you can

and to All of Us…tomorrow We again turn toward the Light.   May we be guided by Moon and Star    sailing through the Waters that come,  how they come,  seeing that they too are part of the whole of the story.   Love and Love 

*the new laptop is supposed to arrive Monday.   So…till then…..