windthread

just when i thought it was , well, ok now….here we go again. I hear Thunder Man. Way over there on the rim and go out to look and yup.  Again.  He's rollin this way.  Ok.  

more to the South

 

more to the North

 

and straight across,  from that Rim,  from where He rolls….   Oh well.

 

the real reason for this pic was to document the Buck Hut.  I so diligently mend it.  and now a BIG mend again before the Winter time.   In their Zeal,  their Bucky Zeal,  they trash their shelter.  Especially here,  the very great canvas tarp is now in shreds and drooping.  Wood come loose.  It was kind of weatherized at one point, but now…oh eeeee,  NOT.  And so.  Time for a Big Mend.  And this all teaches me that it's all only temporary.   Let it GO, grace.  Just do what is in front of your nose.  OK.  Ok.  ok.  OK.

 

i finished cleaning out the does "bedroom" in the Albatros.  It's back breaking work.  5 wheelbarrows full.  But i kept going because i knew i had that Arnica Cream in the basket in the bathroom,  and well, i'd forgotten to fix the top on tight and it's all dried up so ,  eeeeee who knows what the morning might be like tomorrow,  but it's DONE in here and new bedding straw in place.  And it feels really really good.  LAB says "relax", grace…   huh?

 

and i am remembering to look UP.  This UP from all that shit and etc below.  UP is quite grand.  Room for a loft.

 

and Dear Barbara.  The Goat of Woe.  Yesterday at evening feeding i saw blood on Snowbunny's cheek.  Not her blood.  I checked her.  Nope.  So all night it was a mystery.  This morning i look at everyone and there in the Way Way Back is dear Barbara, Again,  standing alone.  And missing her Miley Cyrus  foam horn.  What HAPPENED?  i DON'T KNOW.  will look for the tell tale horn.  Maybe it was when the BIG STORM came yesterday and i was still in town?  What happened?  Where her unsightly scur was is now just a small bloody stump, like really small.  really.  And she has been ostrasized  again..sp…. i fed her in the middle pen this eve.  Alone. oh, eee.

 

some hairy carrots to the compost,  Tay finding them interesting

 

 

and just so we don't think she is the most endearing dog….my whisk broom.

 

the Yerba Mansa now has SEVEN leaves

 

and the Butterfly Wings have Part of a body

 

 

could say that.  And let it go at that.  As just ditto of yesterday,  which it is,  but not so much ALL day,  just most.  And as i just went out to give the Grass Hay at the end of this day,  i hear mind saying, "Wet and Grim".   And it kind of is….     It's WET for sure.  Way more Wet than we expect.  Really wet.  But "Grim"?….   Hmmmm.  Grim?   I don't know.  To me,  personally,  it's kinda grim.  I'm not good at soggy.  And the Goats,  they're not good at soggy.  But Grim?  Why does that word arise in my mind?   I look again at the Forecast, which has been quite wrong,  and it says that the Sky Water is over for now.    And i am glad,  but did it fill the aquifers?   Not sure.  Aquifers/us…..

And i watch Tay,  who doesn't know the word Grim.  It's all the same to her…just a great and good Space of Time for Doing.  I think this is what i am learning to love about her.  It's all the Same to her.  Just Goodness.  Just what Is.   

OK and back to this pic.  OK.   All of them.  

We can see, over at about 5 oclock,  only a partial of Sunny Ray.  But this partial shows his HORN.  the other side is broken off and doesn't do much.  But this right horn (his right) works very much as a horn should.  Causes stuff.  Next to him in the pic with his back to us is Nogal.  We can see here his testicles.  Fully formed.  and ok that.   Then…there is Gideon and Tenzen…rearing for a good Chingaso,  a whack,  Gideon who is so crippled and old…he still enjoys this.  Tenzen,  the peaceful one…some…yes…not a lot,  but yes, some too.  They rise up like this and WHACK heads.  It's Their Way.

 

this is TenZen.  The most peaceful.  

 

Baby Nogal.  Who is no longer a baby.  Who has as left leg dangling from confrontation with Sonny Ray.   Stuff had gone relatively ok till the last month.  But then….  We have a two year old Sonny Ray and a One year old Nogal.  Trouble in River City.

I am going to seperate them if it ever stops Raining.  Not yet sure how but i think Sonny Ray with his father Gideon   and TenZen and Nogal.  See how that goes.  But for sure,  how it's going now isn't IT.  NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND keeps FOUR intact bucks.  NO ONE.  Me,  in my ever optimistic mind does,  thinking that any minute the Daughter might come.  ??????????????????

and then,  today i got a phone call Early from Blaine,  the father of the fundamentalist christian family who i buy eggs from…asking me to call his wife Karen about how to dry off a goat.  So…

long story short,  Karen stopped by on her way into town with EGGS and i gave her a bunch of my books and talked to her about why they were drying off their goat and it went into my conflict about breeding again, even tho i want CHEESE but what to do with the babies and 

it was so ….,   well,  so   something.   She said…
"i will ask the Lord.  I will pray on this, grace,  i will ask."   And i said….Thank You.  Let me know.

and i know she will.  She will tell me what her Lord says about grace's conflicted feelings about baby Goats.   Isn't this just Something?

and this goes back too.  It's the Mexican Elderberry and pods of the Mimosa.  in a copper pot.  a spash of vinegar and it gives GREEN.

 

the baskets.   They are sold at our local Farmers Market as fund raiser.  I forget where they are from,  somewhere in Africa,  where Ebola Rages.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is Straight UP.  UP.  Over head.  I said to self,  LOOK.  STRAIGHT UP INTO IT.   Leave your thoughts.  Just SEE it.  It will be what it will be.  Your thoughts have NO meaning here.  Just LOOK.  See this.  Witness this.  THIS.  no thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

i tweaked the last ones,  just to maybe see More.  More than what IS…isn't that funny?  That we might think we can do that?

and for the first time,  i felt ONE with the Goats.  Not as an entity who could DO something,  but as an entity that was Under This Sky,  for better or for worse.  Just here.  Just watching.  Just feeling the Lightning.  Direct Strikes.  Shaking the earth.  This earth.   More is coming.  We wait.

 

spent a long time on this post and it disappeared.  so, here,  just pics.  we'll see.

but Mo tells us it is a Blood Moon Eclipse

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There were a LOT Of words but they disappeared.  So maybe just this,  to Hold it.  to hold the  Lunar Eclipse,  the Blood Moon,  in Aries, the Ram,  as Mo tells Us.

this is it for today.  It was work away at the Old Cowboy's who knows  that Alz B has died and knows that i have now  "free time".   When i said i was ready to go, he said  
"what's the hurry?  Where are you going?"   I said

"home".

He said  "What's going on there?"

I needed to breathe through that one.  Innocent on his part,  but really,  in a way, a fair question.  Not a lot of people think there's anything much going on here.

So i came home in that mode and worked at getting the far back pen de-weeded of the 6ft tall pig weed and got the pallets ready to receive this load of grass hay then went and got it and brought it home and unloaded.  

What's going on here?  ,  Well…….

 

 

Except for the butterfly,  everything is tacked into place on a third piece…some tea dyed linen, giving the Dream weight.  I am loving this because it has nothing to do with me,  but Occured on its own,  as it would have Itself.  

 

i like looking at a distance,  looking at this and the other cloth next to one another,  the first time i have worked on two cloths simultaneously with equal energy.  They are related.  So i look at the relatedness,  let it tell the story.  

 

and this morning, these two scraps hopped together.  Like them a LOT.

the second of the string of Five days.   I am remembering.  Remembering to sit on the porch now and then and just take it all in.  There are many butterflies now.   Many of the Yellows that are in keeping with this season,  but many others too,  multicolored and less numerous,  but standing out in their flight patterns,  which look oh so Care Free and so At Ease and i think of this as i sit on the top step, How this is their Life right now which doesn't have many days left,  yet they Sail so gently.  So free.

Summer has made it's marks,  it's design.

 

and tho i'd decided NOT to,  i RE decided this morning to go forward with this cloth.  It's GOOD, the story of it and i checked and the "compost" will hold as cloth.  Some stitches and it will hold.

 

Today the butterflies added themselves to the Dreaming of those Dreamers below the compost.  The story began to sing itself.

 

LATER:  on impulse.   Got the leash and we WALKED.  Maybe a mile?  Maybe mile and a half?  We walked on the far side of the ditch bank.   The near side, dog dog dog but the far side…no.  No dogs.  For how long?  Don't know but for today,  no dogs.  only cattle.  Tomorrow i'll take the camera.

 

 

the cucumbers were a bust this year.  But i found/find self still remembering the making of the bread and butter pickles.  This was a yearly ritual with my mother and her sister.  It's one of the very few memories of my childhood that had good meaning.   The making of them and then THEM themselves.  They are the Absolute Best.   So…no cucumbers.  but then,  in thinking about it i realized that it was the onions that i loved, too.  How i would be yelled at,  well, not yelled at,  but scolded for picking out the onions.   

SO.  Today i made bread and butter Onions.  Same recipe.  Just missing the cucumbers.  We'll see.  We'll see if they are

Satisfying.  

The four small jars are with red onions.  The quart jar with white onions….not sealed,  but to rest and "pickle" in the refrigerater for a reasonable time.  I use the juice in many other things,  BarB Q sauce,  coleslaw.   The juice is elegant.    

you will need to double click this to see it.  I was trying to drill a hole to screw in the I hook for some bells that have been lying on the floor of the porch.  Drill   drill but no and i brought a chair out so i was higher and at that point one of those

Wasps bizzed around and Lo and Behold….LOOK.   This is the front PORCH ceiling under which i pass a zillion times a day every day and there they are 

And how i never knew it.  How they had been such reasonable YardMates all summer.  ???????

 

a stump of the Yerba Mansa.  We'll see.

 

last leaves for now of it…Yerba Mansa…even if nothing happens dye wise…just this is Enough.

Long and really GOOD conversation with granddaughter.  How it sometimes is,  that we skip a generation to find kindred spirit.  This…well,  intense.  and Speaking to the Now here and i am a lot without words in the moment but it's all spilling in,  to some kind of Soup and it's fragrant and full of nutrition for the Life.

 

 

This is pretty much just a Journal Page.  Wanting to Mark the day.  Wanting to leave a Mark of sorts of this day in October, 2014.   so i might know,  at some time still coming.  And to say that i don't know anything at all about any of this.  That it still is coming and i don't know.  Don't know.

I first "met"  Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj and Ramana Maharshi somewhere around 1988 or 89 give or take.  Maybe a few years before?   Maybe Some years before.  but i'll say 1988.  Good enough to indicate a While back.   I tried to understand then,  but i couldn't,  but i knew the words were True.  Now and then,  when the granddaughter has come i've watched her visually "cruise" the book shelf and ask about "that blue book".  I Am That.  I always said…do you want to take it?  She says no, not now.  

And here we are today,  me and her and Mooji whose lineage is this.  so, ok.

So i spent this day going about and doing and making the point to keep in the Moment.  When thoughts would try to attach to the Moment i would let them drop away.  Just the Moment.  Just This.  Tay, the Goats and I did this.  We just had a day.  We got a LOT done.  We worked OutSide, we went back and forth through the Migrational Coridor,  we pulled the sticky seed grasses,  moved the cement blocks,  cleaned the Albatros,  Looked at Cloth,  ate,  admired the DAY which was just so Grand,  all the while,  I let the sense of ME just float off and disappear.  The Goats and Tay don't have that so they were just what they are and i joined them in that…in that clear sense of this day as it unfolded,  no past  no future just each minute into each minute.  And i realized that i have been going along,  Just going, along all this time and it's good and Very Very OK.

 

Alz B's son Bill had brought a broken basket,  knowing my fondness for Wabi Sabi .  This morning i find it totally disassembled by Tay.   But this bottom.  This Center remained so i tied it and  put it on the wall.

 

am looking.  Here.  What is it?…How it  is?

 

i knew if i went, i would be inclined to promise things that i would NOT want to fulfill. I knew i felt Vulnerable to that. So…for the first time Ever, i stayed still.   Stayed in place.  Ok.

 

SUN

 

and maybe,  Compost.  Where the Dreamers live?

 

Laundry.  Most of it Out Back,  but these,  here.  On Front fence.  Laundry.  Textiles.  Laundry.