windthread

what to do about…..worry?  it's a legitimate spontaneous response to some things, maybe?  I found self worried that i might be Causing worry for others,  due to the particular circumstances of the day.

but i got to REVIEW what all i have come to think about Worry.    so, that was good.  When we can't Know something,  when there's no way,  there is no Use to worry.   Whatever is,  is.  i think that's about it.   But then,  it still rises up.   so,  i got caught up in it for a while and then it wore me out and  i reminded self of the above.  

so,  i could be less predictable with posting.  That would correct what happened last night and on for the most part of the early day.   i could post now and then, off and on.   then  i would not cause worry.    but i do like the discipline of posting every day.    So, for now,  if i am not here when you expect me,  check other Typepad people,  Spirit Cloth, Jude, for one.   that should provide an answer.  and/or Email me.  that's google,  so wouldn't be affected.   so….we'll let it go at that for now.

 

 

certain things are important here.  that their knees touch.  and  that Lizard is touching Her with her hand.  that Lizard is close to what the Whiptails really look like here… this would be the blue tail.  I don't know if i like that stem.  and also the tail of Lizard…does it go over or under the stem?  That piece of Sky has moved all over.   and i totally removed it for a while.  but it's back on for time  being.  don't know.

the Green Beans are UP,  some of the Chard.   Nothing from over in Neighborland,  but we are feeling it here.  Doe Goats are restless in the smaller space.  they had gotten used to the other.

 

 

 

preoccupied since last eve with trying to get through.  and i am thinking now.  this is the downside.

if i don't post, especially when Something is going on,  it seems ominous.  I  don't like that.  there's enough to worry about in this world.  so i am thinking.   and it's possible that Typepad will crash again.  So i guess just to keep that in mind when there is a silence until i think it out.  but for now…

 

this was Yesterday's pic.  the drawing of Her and the Lizard.  Was just to try to imagine Size.  have been working this morning and it's different.  If nothing else happens with Typepad, will post again this eve.  

 

 

i thought a lot today, most of the day, off and on, mostly on,  about All of You who  come here and to the Mothership of Spirit Cloth.  Who,  over time,  some,  but some also just New, but of the same Spirit…who i 

Know.

and i thought about how grateful i am for All of Us,  in a world that is  difficult to understand.  

and i also thought about how this impossible situation i find myself in is so much the SAME as others around the world where there are Huge Differences in understanding.  Huge Differences in View

how some might see the goat as a blessing.  others just next door as a curse.  all the while,  the Goat

is just a goat.  being so beautifully Goatly.  

i off and on too, went out and pressed my nose into one or the other of them…inhaling deeply.  No smell.  and i got on my knees and put my nose to the earth they are in.  and yes.  there is a smell.  there is a smell of scrap feed.  there is a smell of dry grass hay.  a smell of alfalfa stems.  but their round and perfect little shit balls…no.  no smell.  if i dig down,  under the top layers,  and put my nose to that,  i smell the scent of all,  merging,  composting into rich sweet soil.

so this is what I know.  it is not what my neighbor knows.  Maybe.  Maybe i can understand a way to show her this.  

But today and now until Easter is over,  i am just hunkering down.  no sign of Anything at her house today.  Quiet.  Still down here at our end of the road.  in the past we would joke and laugh about declaring  this end of the road a sovereign state.  we would put up baracades and not allow passage on the road.  close it off.   i need to find a way to reach that person now.  maybe i can.  maybe i can't.  but i need to try.

in the meantime,  i THANK You All from my deepest heart of hearts for all you offer.  All the time.  Just particularly noticable right now.

Love to All of Us…..

 

coming and going from this today

 

from the Iris.  all cotton or linen.  i think the yarn, from Patricia, is cotton.  but it could be silk.  the greens began same as the blue.  but i took them out of the pint jar and put them in the copper pot.  Green.   nice greens.  but i use Deb Lacativa's greens.  and so.  the blue was just from in the jar with water.  i haven't washed any of them yet.  so more to find out.  O and the bottom of that one strip that is darker…a quick dunk in the Walnut.

 

and the beginning.   looked at scraps for the SunFlower.  then invisible basted,  walking stitched ~Jude Hill~ the layers together.  it's good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

no pics.  pretty much no nothing.  i have been stunned.  dumbstruck.  all day.  thoughts going around in useless circles.

this morning at 7 something a.m. my neighbor across the road called to tell me that she cannot  stand the Goats.  that the smell of them is in her food.  that she cannot eat.  is nauseated.  i went over there and she just repeated herself, saying she can't help it.  they are making her sick.  i was as i said, dumbstruck.  just a few days ago she called to borrow something and we stood and talked at her fence and she was laughing about how she liked the sounds they make.   In the two years they've been here she has never had anything adverse to say.

i can think of some reasons for this.  but really,  nothing matters except she is saying they make her sick.   i don't know what to think.  i don't know what to feel.   i don't know what to do.

i moved them back into the Front pens,  the ones that are on either side of the Albatros with the corridor behind it that connects them.  The Way Back is Empty.  WIND is blowing blowing HARD again and still.   I just feel uhhh,  Blank.

 

 

 

 

 

Unexpected things.  but All traveling the same thread.  

 

just at dawn i looked.   Sky on cloth has always presented a dilemma for me.   is it just an expanse of cloth sky coloured?   is it barely stitched silk gauze like in the Woman Flying With Crow?   i would like some symbolic repeating image that says SKY.   and i think this might be it.  i like it.  we'll see, as it goes,  with this cloth.

 

and Marti is UP.  as she always is.  before dawn.  and sends a photograph of today's Pot.  her cauldron.  Marti doesn't blog.  doesn't want to.  too bad for Us.  

the colors are off.   but this is a print out of the photograph she emailed.    What is important to me, that made me want to put it here,  is the total and complete Love of the Pot,  it's alchemy.  of anyone i know,  she most loves the Experience of Relationship with the plant materials,  the cloth.  This was true when she lived in other places and it is true again now.  She goes OutSide.  and for her now,  it's not OutSide to a vast landscape.  it is not OutSide to an extraordinary Garden of plants.  no.  it's a small,  relatively plain OutSide.  but there, she Sees and Finds

Everything.

and from OutSide in combination with her food scraps,  she tends her Pot.  she makes her cloth.  she stitches her cloths together and she is Filled.  to her Brim.  no more, no less.  Enough.  i Respect this.  Very much.

 

this is the Living Room OR, maybe just less than 2/3rds of the Living Room of the house i clean every other Monday.   This House and i are always Alone Together.  no human is ever home.  Just me and this House.  I know it like i know my own.   it is my favorite of all time.  behind that shelf on the left is a piano.  They are geologists and they are Musicians.  this room is FULL of musical instruments.  and when i clean here,  i sing.  the acoustics of the house are wonderful.  because i think the rooms are so Large and also relatively empty, really.  but i Sing and i sound so really Great.   and guess what was on the kitchen table????

not "hers".  she had brought it home from somewhere.  she does not have flowers.  she has the BEST vegetable garden i've ever known in my time in N. Mex.  but she does not do flowers.  yet…here it was on the table.  ok.

 

back home,  the tiny beads are opening.  i wish i had a camera that could show the oh so small individual blooms.   they are hard to Believe.  and because of Patricia's comment yesterday,  i searched and found this about Salt Cedar:  terrain.org/articles/27/Lamberton.htm   The Thirsty Tree   Melissa L. Lamberton.   before i talk more about this,  i need to get more printer paper and print it out.  Sit with it.  I need to Sit With It.  But it's important.  maybe even Critical to me.  Intuition.  Trust it.

 

 

from Deb Lacativa.  you can find her in the Center Column of PlaceKeeping on Jude's Spirit Cloth.  Look.  oh.  Look.  BEAUTY.  and in almost every cloth i make,  the focal point is always a scrap of Deb's cloth.  it is filled and vibrating with BEAUTY.

Tazmeena is not pleased.  The photo shoot disturbed the arrangement of pillows.

Deb's Threads.  the Dalai Lama IS pleased.  but then, he always is.

 

 

Arrived in mail,  along with Deb's Cloth.  Along with a new Logitech mouse that makes this post possible.

farming in Kansas, USA.  farming of grains.  Wheat.  Corn.  farming of food we 

eat.

Monsanto Land.

 

farming Elsewhere.  Who would you TRUST to feed  your Children?

 

and i have no pic for this,  but DO go to  stickyfingerstuff.blogspot.co.uk  and look.  Look at the photostream for Antique Boro she so lovingly gives us.  from an exhibit in the UK.  Farmers, again.  Farmers.

 

 

 

 

it might.  i can see it way even beyond the Rim.   maybe.

 

 

 

the Salt Cedar.  considered noxious.  great Effort to eradicate it from New Mexico.   There are Opinions,  because i have let one grow…over by the fence.  this is it's only child in 18 years.  i have let it grow too.  they are said to be invasive.  and it is, true,  but….any minute the Tanangers will come, hang upside down from the thin branches like ornaments.  always,  the Tanangers come, only for this.  and Bees.  the Bees.  

 

i am going to try to make a cloth of them,  on the raft,  under a Sunflower.  We'll see.

 

Great Wind, again.  again.  again.  today.  and as i went out to gather up some wood for the small morning fire,  i looked and 4 blooms had succumbed.  so…into the India Jar…just to see.  and maybe yes,  maybe it might make Sky cloth.  another maybe.

and just to help the Goats remember,  i went out just now and called them over to the shelters that i built for them,  that they generally totally ignore.  except for when there is moisture from the sky.  so, since it's maybe a storm tonight,  i called them over.  went inside and sat,  they zoomed in and whirled and zoomed back out.  but at least it was a reminder.   i've done my part.  

 

 

 

 

was unusually tired today.   there were things i'd thought i'd DO.  but i didn't.  i woke.,  sat like i do,  then when they called, fed the Goats.  spent some time Out There.  came in.   looked around.  went back Out.   moved the little stool over and sat with the Iris.  pulled stool up close.  really close and just looked.  tried to REALLY look.  but i was tired.  so after some time, i came back in and layed down.  slept.  waking,  i was thinking already, in my sleep of this…

 

the quick drawing .   and then,  i began reading  Spiritual Ecology.  i read the the introduction.  then,  the first of the Essays therein.  called Listening to Natural Law     Chief Oren Lyons.  

you can google him.  Faithkeeper of the Turtle Clan of the Onondaga Nation.  there are UTubes too.    These are the things i underlined:

"The spiritual side of the natural world is absolute.  The laws are absolute.   There's no habeas corpus in natural law.  You either do or you don't."

"We have to be thankful.  That's what we said.  Two things were told to us.  To be thankful, so those are our ceremonies,  ceremonies of thanksgiving.  We built nations around it., and you can do that too.  And the  other thing they said was enjoy life.  That's a rule, a law—enjoy life—you're supposed to.   I know you can only do as much as you can do, and then when you do that, you're supposed to get outside and enjoy life.  Don't take yourself so seriously.  Do the best you can but get at it. "

 

 

it seems that the aphids and the Iris have some mutual concerns.   there were no aphids on these BLOOMS.  not a one.   but still, on the tight buds.  

 

and the butterfly made of Wind is back.  i think to stay.   stitched a little,  just enough.  When i look from a distance,  like when i'm near the wood stove, or even in the Living room,  and see it there,  there is a very good feeling.   

 

I arrived at the Old Cowboy's home early this morning so i could help him get ready to move out and be at a 10 a.m. appointment with his lawyer.   Help him get ready consists of a LOT of repeated conversation.  What he wants to say to his lawyer and then also all the History to Everything, as in how things came about.   This goes back 50 and 60 years.  He has to say it.  He has to say it a few times, at least.  ….  he talks and then says "you understand me Girl?"    NONE of it is new.

so, we did that.   What i could have said to the lawyer in three concise sentences took him an hour and a half.  I sat listening with my eyes closed.  This helps FEEL his angst,  his SENSE of the position he is finding himself in.  

and then, we went to his accountant to sign this years tax papers.  he could not go in and was "ashamed".   so,  Wendy, his "tax girl"  came out to the car with the papers and a clip board.  she squated next to the car while he studied the papers and signed  after 3 red x's.  i wrote the checks out for him and he signed those.  and then he had the exact same conversation with Wendy that he has had for years.  Wendy, a very kind and gentle woman, responded exactly as she has for years.

that done,  we went to Lotta Burger and ordered a Lotta Burger with cheese and green chili,  fries and a pepsi.  Waited.  brought it back to his house and split it and consumed amidst him reliving every moment that preceeded that.    

then he remembered that he was plum out of Centrum Silver vitamins.  so….off to Walmart for them and back.  where we reviewed Everything one more time.

i came home and took a nap.  woke,  but couldn't really wake.  so i stitched that butterfly made of Wind and fed the Goats.  i am going to go to sleep tonight as soon as i can.  i have Things on my Mind and want to stay up,  when i wake in the middle of the night,  and see exactly what they are.  i will wake somewhere around 2 am.  will make tea.  sit in the Dark and wait to Find Out.  then,  when i can see it clearly,  i'll go back to bed till morning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

it can rest a little while now.   a day or two.  or a few.  just As Is.   Mo made a really thought Full comment yesterday,  that to her the butterfly is a distraction and superfluous.  i like both those words and what they mean here a LOT.   distraction.  superfluous.  and i thought about that a lot.  in a way, it is very true.  but there is something in me that really likes that butterfly made of wind.  and likes it There.   so i went to wikipedia and looked at the word Kitsch.

" a lowbrow style of mass produced art or design using popular or cultural icons.  The term Kitsch is generally reserved for unsubstantial or gaudy works or decoration, or works that are calculated to have popular appeal."

"according to Walter Benjamin, Kitsch is, unlike art, a utilitarian object lacking all critical distance between object and observer, it  "offers instantaneous emotional gratification without intellectual effort, without the requirement of distance, without sublimation."

and i liked very much all this as definition of kitsch.    and it's true.  that the moment i pressed that butterfly to this cloth, the term kitsch~y rose up.

BUT.

i also like it.  i am going to look at it both ways for a while.   and i am also looking in terms of the idea of Theater that Jude mentioned.  i went back back and back in the picasa library to find a cloth that i made, sort of,  at the very beginning of my time as Jude's student.  it was directly about Theater and i went on with that word Theater for a while.  making the curtain in the big west window the theater cloth.  adding things to it,  that created a sense of Theater.   but then, as i was scrolling through Picasa,  i realized how much of what i make is nothing more than that.    In that, they are simply scenes.    that seem to be set.  like a moment in time,  JUST before something happens.  and what the something is, we don't know.  it's just a cloth of that moment, Just before.  and how much i LIKE that.   so…having all this in my head,  i was OutSide today and saw it all repeated Out There.  it's all a scene.  nothing happening in that moment that is obvious,  but it is all Ready.  all in place.  So MANY things MIGHT happen.  or not.  and how much i love that moment.

Theater.  how life is Theater, really.   

 

i want to make a Sunflower Theater

 

maybe like this one on my Magic Diaries cloth?

 

early this morning i was looking at the Warm Weather Curtain on the door to the Way Back.  thinking about making a cloth loom of it.  do i want to?  or do i love it just as it is?

 

close.  to get the bloom right i had to tweek the rest

 

and eeeeeeee     If you double click you can see the aphids.   wondering if this portends a particular kind of growing season????   i have never noticed this before.

and right now,  the single Robin,  Robinda,  is speaking.  has not gone on yet.  is remaining longer than usual.