windthread

cucumber bed

 

tomatillo bed.  will hopefully reseed itself.

 

the diamond bed….this year Woad.  and Patricia's marigolds i am sure will self seed.

 

and the long bed…chard, eggplant, yellow hots,  bell peppers.  this time the bed divided by a center walk way,  the plants put in arches…or semicircles around either side…Keyhole design..Permaculture.  

tomato inbetween the Golden Currant and Coral Berry.  the place that grew the best and fierce est plant last year.

 

tomatoes

 

WIND yesterday and on into the night knocked the trellis apart.  but that's ok.  because i accidentally got bush green beans.  so this is where they will go.  Zarina said it was a good mistake.  She LOVES bush green beans best…and is from a long long line of West Virginia Gardners.  ok.

 

tools.  i am loving TOOLS.  all kinds.  

 

i dragged this here a year ago last December.  Didn't use it last year.  but it  might be perfect for salad greens.  so with those tools i managed to remove the center board and put it on the outside front.  took a while.  i wanted to give up.  i didn't.  it's done.  it might work.  can cover it when it might need shade.  ok, this too, Done.

 

the little girl's, now Big girls Play Kitchen.  raked.  

 

the beautiful "serving plates"…they are brass,  but look at the beauty FULL corosion on the top one

 

old woman Apricot held her blooms through the onslaught of Night Wind.

so…not much to see here.  but i worked steady all day to reach this point.  many wheelbarrows.  and it's now READY.   just to give some water now and then till the end of March or early April, depending.  Last year my heart wasn't in it.  The year before, i knew the Goats were coming and i was at a loss for what to do.  so…it's been a while.  but this time,  it's READY.  how it goes from here, we'll see.  but the other use of that Tool of a Single Day is the concept of Now.  i am very prone to Later.   I'll do it Later.  tomorrow.  in the morning.  Later.    But when that momentum of the One Singular Day takes hold,  then it begins to make sense to do things Now.  Later is a different day and that's not what's going on.  Today.  Now.  So i wanted to stop.  a bunch of times.  but i didn't.  i slowed down and just kept going.  and it's Finished.  it's Ready.  and now, tomorrow is Free.

and all the while i thought about cloth.  i kept  thinking about that one but couldn't exactly remember so when i was finished, went looking for it in Picasa.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It never occured to me that it would be difficult.  Coming to the end of 365 days.  That it would be a dilemma of Now What?.?  But it is.  And i really have no answer.

First i want to THANK                                                                                                                                                                     YOU ALL                                                                                                                                                                                                for hanging out with me.  I have appreciated So Much all that You have given me with your thoughts and love.   I have been able to see so much more as You have looked with me.   And over time,  that Deepening sense of                                                                                                                                                                            What We Are.   In Common.  Together.  Us.                                                                                         Nothing could be Finer.  Nothing.  Than to find ourselves woven into eachother's days.

The year has unfolded of its own accord.  This time last year I was still looking for "meaning".  I think looking for some significant Event, Experience, Doing which would satisfy that search.

But what i've realized in the last couple days  (as i have gone back,   only some,….it was overwhelming to try to go back through it all)    is that something else happened entirely.  

Posting every day became a TOOL.

that slowly, without my even being aware of it taught me to stay in a day.  One single day.  This day. Today.

Unmoored from the past, unattached to any future.  Just a singular one and only day.  to live that day fully and look long.   It broke the lifelong habit of that kind of Julia Cameron Morning Pages person that remained somewhat,  ummmm,  somewhat more attached to the "thoughts about" than the "experience of".   I don't know if this makes sense, but it is a HUGE and Wonder Full realization.

So, now?   Me, the cloth, the Goats, the Cat, the Dog, the Land….we might be here for the long haul.  Who Knows?   So…I think i'll just go.  One day at a time.

Today,  this day,  ending with SO MUCH WIND.   I put a new wall on the Buck Hut just in time for this stormy night of maybe rain, maybe snow.   and i don't have a clue Why,  but they were all so gentlemanly.  More than ever before.  Taking close interest in the doings,  receiving love in the form of scratching and touch,  and not finding it necessary to EXPRESS THAT BACK in their usual bucky ways.  Just being there.  with me.  i don't know what to think.

 

and i had to bring the truck in to unload the feed.  Days like this you have to tie the gate open against the WIND.

and as a SURPRISE,  Marti and her husband arrived with the 4 Native Plum trees i'd ordered from Plants of the Southwest in Albuquerque.  That i'd thought i'd go pick up at their house when the car gets fixed.   But they BROUGHT them!  and we bagged some mulch for their garden beds.

After they left I readied things.  Put on my Hundertwasser bracelet  and signaled to Snowbunny.  Ready????  Opened the gates and made an OH SO SMOOTH, smooth, smooth transition from the Way Back to the Front.  Flawless.  Just in time ahead of the Storm.   it was Beauty Full.  Lucky Star and the young ones in the middle.  Perfect harmony.  One Mind.  A Herd.   We were like the Wildebeests crossing the Serengeti.   And the Crows came low…their wings outstretched but still.  Not moving.  Just riding the Wind.  

it's a New Moon tonight.  before i go to sleep,  i'll plant the seeds.

What comes after 365?  i guess…..366.

Love to You All,

                   

 

 

 

 

this morning.  Looking     at the wall.

 

and then…while trying to find something else, came across this piece of felted wool that my most LOVED friend,   Marge made when she was in art school,  before she died.  

 

the basket with the undercoat of the Goats collected so far

 

Gifts.   for  Her.

 

Sky and Coral Berry trimmings in the copper pot

 

and it's Finished.   anything Else would just be…well,  stuff.   The story is here.  All the story.  enough.

 

a Loving sky.  a soft kiss on this land this evening.

*Potholder*

 

READY.

 

a heart shaped wasp nest for Jude.

and then, because her son is skiing in Utah,  i went a third day this week to Alz B's.  Music Thursday, which i miss anyway.  but since i was Away today,  i thought i would take a look back at the days because i want to just stitch tomorrow and Saturday.  so i  went to Archives and began,  but quickly lost energy for it.  So, instead i went to the Picasa pics file and looked at all the pics from 2013 there.  These two…i was caught by…

 

 

 

i printed them out so i can put them on the Wall.  so i can think about why out of a years pics,  these two caught me.

 

and just moments ago,  it was for sure that the angle of Light has Changed.   yes.  Spring tilt.  and this morning Mockingbird was back.  

 

and today, it remains GOOD.  that shred that means Faith,  caught in the Net.  it's good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

it wasn't quite light yet but suddenly i did it.

 

a couple weeks ago i found this jacket at the Thrift Shop.  it's SILK.  well…the shell.  the inside is that quilted liner common in work shirts.  but it's really light weight and warm because of the silk and i can easily wear it under one of the hoodie sweatshirts for morning Goat things.  BUT…it had a flaw.   Shoulder pads of all things.   bugged me.   so this morning suddenly i took it off and made a surgical incision and removed the shoulder pads.  and there they were.  and THEN

 

looking at them on the table, thinking how dumb they are i had an IDEA.  my hot pads in the kitchen are awful.  old.  greasy.  stained.  even when freshly washed,  creepy.  and so i tried the shape on a pan handle, on the handle of the water kettle…..YES.   so i got a shirt from the cloth shelf and cut the shape stuffed the pad in and….ta da…tomorrow morning, just before dawn again, when it's not really light enough to sew…i'll finish.  Funny….with all this stitching, it never occured to me to make a new hot pad.

 

Apricot again.  in a few days She will be in full bloom.  Just in time, most likely, for the March WIND to blow them all away.  but in this moment, there is the chance they can Just Go.

 

treasures from yesterday.  the sledgehammer/wedge is from the Old Cowboy.  he talked all the time i was cleaning about how he will just begin falling apart now.  Need to go live in the little basement room at his nephew Tim's.   What would become of all his Stuff???? on and on and on.  he kept saying that he wanted me to have whatever of his stuff i wanted,  like the big dresser that was his Mother's  (i don't want it),  the dining room table and 4 chairs (i don't want them),  etc. etc. etc.  so finally, i went out to the laundry room where he had a bucket with this sledgehammer in it to prop the door open for his dog to go in and out…the dog he put down because she pee'd on the floor,  and i brought it in and said  THIS.  i want THIS.  and i do.  i have admired it for years.  i have the tops of many sledgehammers here…all with broken off handles.  this one is one solid piece.  it's GRAND.

and next to it is some rope that Owen wondered if i could think of something to use for…..  said just leave it there…i don't know.  he did.

 

and today, stitching,  i kept wondering about that ….. Net.   WHY is it a Net?   What would this Net be …. for?   how did it/does it  relate to Seeing with Wild Eyes?  

no answers.

but then, late in the day,  

 

that Talisman,  that i finally gave words to on January 19th,  2014,  after so many years….                     that Talisman of     Faith.   or, really,  the Willingness for Faith.   This cloth will not be my cloth.  it will belong to someone else and so i can't know much about the Net.  it is not my Net.  but this, this Willingness for Faith might be anyone's i think.   and it's made with a strand of that rope and thread.  it's Good.   and now,  as Sun touches the Rim,  it's IN the Net.  o k.

 

 

 

 

where there was two trucks and a car,  now space.  and it somehow looks so much larger than ever before.  Chinche was/is sad with Owen's leaving.   

and over at Sprit Cloth,  Jude said today:

" A storyteller can keep a good idea alive.  Encourage its becoming".  

And this is just exactly it.   Am still in re-play mode with my VISIT.   tomorrow when i can be home all day,  it might settle .  but it might take longer, too.  it was a LOT.   But i read Jude's words and thought, Yes.  Yes.   And i thought..yes.  We  told eachother stories.  Owen, Rory, Zarina and me.  We told stories of our lives.  that's how we told Who and What we are,  by telling stories.  it was the form of the Exchange.   and by doing this,  i am now a part of their stories as they are a part of mine.  As we all go On,  we will tell this WeavingIn too,  how it was.   

and the stories are so beautifully what they are.  When Owen was packing and repacking his belongings in his truck,  which included two large tubs of Stuff he realized he no longer wanted,  among it all was a fan.  the fan kept making me smile as it went into the truck and out.  back in.  this morning as he was ready to go out of the gate,  i said…so….what's the deal with that fan?  and he said he really didn't know.  Did i want it?  and i said no,  but then remembered, and asked if it was an oscillating fan and if that function worked.  Yes it was and yes it worked.  so i said…ok.  mine doesn't oscillate anymore and i miss the sound.   So he handed it to me and looked directly in my face and said, " Think of me every time you hear the sound."   and i am thinking about that thread of the Story right now,  as Sun heads for the Rim.  How i will forevermore think of Owen when the fan sings it's movement right to left.  It's woven in.  It's part of my story now,  that Giving.  Part of his.  How he brought along a fan just because and gave it to an old Goat woman who fed him spagetti.

Nice, huh.

 

 

 

 

it was a Work Away day.  but before i left i looked at this pile of tree trimmings that has been in front of the Way Back double gate for a year.  i had thought it was a brilliant idea to ask the tree trimming guy to drop off some of the branches for the Goats.   the key word was ….some.   He dropped a whole trailer load.  and they have for the most part Sat there.  first, they might be a fire hazzard.  and  second there were a LOT.  i have asked over the months, various people who come by here in trucks if they or any one they knew might be interested in loading them up and taking them to the landfill.  Nope.  So they have sat.  i realized i would need to do it myself, but it never seemed to rise upward on the Priority List, even tho i have been unable to use that gate all this time.   and even tho i am a fire hazzard worrier.   

 

 

so i though, OK.  Owen and i could do it.  cool.  but somewhere during the night those words from the Permaculture book arose.  Hugulkultur.  YES!  so before i left this morning, i showed Owen what i was thinking.  showed him the pile.  told him i'd be back y 2:00 at the latest and help.  and Lo and Behold…..

 

when i arrived home,  here they were.  a WEALTH of Hugulkultur material and out back?…not a single twig.  all raked and perfect.  

and then we moved some stuff that i have wanted to move forever.  and we hauled in and stacked pallets in the Buck Pen.  and then we made and ate a spagetti dinner again and talk.  Earnestly and with thought about many things.  

 

 

 

and then Owen organized his stuff.  again.  and i did the small things i do in the evening and tomorrow he Sets Out Again.  and i will RePlay it all in my head.

Thanks, Julie.  Thank You so so much.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the apricot tree is developing blooms

 

the Net.

more small stitching….that grey and white…Weather….,  the Crows are crow enough.  and i think, late in the day that the diamond in the center needs to come off.  i see that that vertical gauzy center scrap is a Net.  i didn't know before.   a Net.  

 

 

it's over.  i have watched constantly today,  wanting to learn as much as i can.  Watched from Out there and from inside, through the window.  Just now, going out to take these pics,  they all look up like….."yes?"    it's done.  Onday may be relentless,  but she is effective.  Today everyone has a place.  They are a Herd again.  

it's really so touching to watch the two young ones making their way in the Whole.  how capable they are,  how smart.  and interestingly enough,  Celia,  Lucky Star's current baby is very interested in bonding with Just Going,  Lucky's baby from the last kidding.  how she pursues her, engages her.

 

 

 

this is Lucky Star.  June 16, 2013

This herd really belongs to my daughter.  She began with Snowbunny and another doe Daffodil i think in 2009.  The herd name is Crazy Wisdom which came from one of the Teachings of  Chogyam Trungpa,  a great Tibetan Buddhist, meditation master, teacher, and artist, founder of Naropa.   She lived and grew the herd some 50 miles from me until somewhere around 2012 when we took her 9 does and 2 bucks to California.   this move was a necessity, the result of a failed and toxic marriage.   in less than a year her job transfer fell through and we brought them all back Here as there was no other option.   8 of the does were pregnant as a result of a buck insurrection.  that first late spring and early summer,  14 kids were born here.  10 of which were bucklings.  all healthy, all very fine.   Last spring as a result of a deliberate breeding of two does,  6 kids were born.  3 doelings/3 bucklings.   The herd i talk about here is the result of all that.   i did not breed for this year as i have been unable to come to terms with selling the babies.  i don't know if i can.

The still stated intention is that once she finds the right place in California she will come for them.  How many is not known.  i might opt to keep some that have been born here.  i don't know.  i will only keep them if i can work through a way to breed and MILK.  otherwise,  she will take them all.

When she began,  we were spending a lot of time and energy thinking about living a self~sustaining lifestyle.  I was very involved in Sharon Astyk's  teachings…her book at the time…..                                  Depletion and Abundance  …  Life on the New Home Front  or,  One Woman's Solutions to Finding Abundance for Your Family while Coming to Terms with Peak Oil, Climate Change and Hard Times.  2008 New Society Publishers.    i was focused on off grid living and Growing food.  the Goats worked,  as did daughter's gift at Building Homes of alternative materials.  

So, it seems that all that was put on hold.  The dream is not gone.  But the Goats are here for my Safe Keeping  until whatever is Next appears.    

Nigerian Dwarf Goats were chosen because they are a small breed,  come into heat monthly and so some can be bred year round making it easy to stagger kidding, ensuring that the herd always has milking does.   Their milk has excellent taste and high butterfat, as high as 10% which is greater than full size dairy goats.  Nigerian Dwarves give between 1 and 8 lbs of milk a day.   The high butterfat means great cheese.

Building a good dairy herd requires conscious breeding.  Many people do not keep bucks, choosing instead to take an in heat doe TO a buck for a "driveway breeding".   this tho is hard work,  there is only a small window of hours when the doe will conceive and also means exposing your goats to  disease which is not common but not uncommon.  it's Easier to keep bucks.  the choice of buck comes from studying their lines.  you choose bucks with great milking dams going back generations.  and you choose for conformation also.  for instance, daughter had doe's that were tall, leggy.  so she bought the buck Tenzen from a breeder in Boston area.  he flew here as a baby.  but he is from the original line of Nigerians in this country and so closer to the breed's original form.   this corrects the height, while still improving the dairy aspects.   and the truth is that if you establish a herd with a solid and respected name,  if your offspring can be taken to  competitions like the State Fair and various shows and win or place well,  you will have a waiting list at each breeding.   people will WANT them  to improve their own herds.   if i were to be into showing these Goats,  i wouldn't have the angst about breeding,  the kids.  but, i'm not.  She can do it.  but at the other end of that, if you don't breed you don't have milk.  you can't make cheese.  

so….i have kept 6 of the doelings born here and 2 of the bucks.   Sunny Ray is the son of old Beautiful Gideon who won't have long left on this planet but is a magnificant buck.  and then little Nogal (Walnut, in spanish)  who i kept because he was the son of Buckwheat who was a very desired and specific breeding of my daughter's.  Buckwheat was born not long after she arrived in California.  She could not get him disbudded at the time and his horns were full and glorious and a problem.  Hence his move to Las Cruces to be herd sire there.  Nogal will carry his genetics for this herd.  and is much more gentle natured and tame than Buckwheat.  

this is as far as i can get today.  i'll add more in time.  but this is the basics of why the Goats are here. and a good time to journal it….going into their third April here.   enough for now.

8:47 p.m.  more.

 

 June 15th, 2013  Nogal.  a buck goat.  kept.  intact.